Recovered1

So, this is twice now I log on here to discover PMs from AAers who obviously cannot say things to me in the open forum for whatever reason. I want this to stop. These messages were very negative and I don't need this in my life.

I am not interested in AA, period. Just not. I'd rather die drunk than put up with the antics of the posters or like-minded people in AA who want to "help". These PMs do NOTHING to help me.

Perhaps the appropriate venue would be to PM a moderator, but I want to raise a group consciousness awareness level that AA is NOT for everyone. Furthermore, what could a moderator do? Anyone is free to send a PM, right?

We're all on a sinking ship, as far as I am concerned. God bless ya if you can do AA. I can't.

Dee74

Hi Recovered,

If you want to report a PM fwd it to a moderator and it will be looked at.

All we can do here is share our experience - if some posters upset, annoy or irritate you, the best option really is to use the ignore function.

I hope you keep posting here and I hope you find a way that works for you.
D

Recovered1

Thank you, Dee. The only problem is that I log on and get these PMs from people in AA. I really do not need that. And I do want to let people know they should tread lightly before they send said PMs. Some of us are on the brink and HAVE tried AA.

I know there are many paths to recovery. I just want to make sure other people know that as well.

Mariposa18

Recovered1~ There is an option to not receive PM's, only bad thing is that would also keep you from getting the PM's from good people who do want to help. I suggest you forward them to a Mod, I'm sure they will be able to help.

There are many paths to sobriety and we all need to do what works for us. Good Luck to you and I hope you stick around, there are a lot of wonderful people here with lots of great advice =)

BunnyLaRoo

Hi Recovered1 - Firstly I am glad you have recovered. However, if you dont want to hear from AA members, perhaps you can say that in your posts. For most people who are trying to get sober, AA is a tool. Because it is so abhororant to you, I suspect you need to say that at the top of your posts. It doesnt say what you have done to get and stay sober but whatever it is, perhaps it would be good for you to share it. As a recovery site, we share our successes and our failures. For the better of the members, if you have a secret, share it with us. Until you do, most will always talk about AA because it is what works for them.

CarolD

R-1.....
To not get PM's from any member.....

Use the Ignore Function for that specific member.
Do you need directions to the Ignore feature?

That way you won't get PM's that you don't want
neither will you read the replies on our boards
from that member.

The only exception is.....you may not ignore PM's from
any SR Forum Team Leaders.

Or.....simply delete the PM when you see a
member name you don't want to read. ...

drained22

when I first came to SR I got PMs from members saying I should go else where for help because I wasn't listening to their so called "advice".

I agree that some members should mind their business and leave PMs for questions or regular chat.

In my opinion, the chatroom offers more help than posting on the forum, perhaps its the people that gravitate to the chatroom, the quality of the postings in the forums has been declining since I got here I must admit.

AA isn't the only avenue for support, some goto counselers , some goto non christian groups. there are many areas if you really want it.

BunnyLaRoo

Hold on, hold on. You post here for help and advice. if you dont like the advice you dont have to take it. Crazy that you want help but will not listen to people who have it.

Just saying.

CarolD

Thanks for pointing that out. We do have a sticky post on
this Forum with various recovery methods for members to explore.

We do have members who use different programs and members
who are successfully sober without useing a specific program.
All are welcome and encouraged to share here with us.

There is no wrong way to live sober and healthy.
Forward we go...side by side...

Cathy31

I'd love to see those pm's - why not post them here without the names? I suspect they're probably quite helpful in tone but what's angering you is that you don't want the advice that's being given! Fair enough! Ignore it! In my experience real AA'ers don't bother with people who are not interested in the message and nor are they 'negative' typically they try and be helpful and move on if the 'prospect' is not interested. Seriously, I'd love to see those pm's...
Cathy31
x

CarolD

Before this PM situation goes any farther .....

it's against our SR rules to post the contents
of PM's from anyone on our Discussion Boards.

Mark75

That's true, I guess...

But it's also against the rules to flame others... I'm with cathy, what "antics"... I don't necessarily care who... but I say unless there is something to back those statements up, it's flaming.

I am surprised you let her post stand without some kind of authentication.

Read the last post by recovered1... there is CLEARLY an anti-AA bias there...

Mark

CStyle

The miracle of freedom of choice.

LegalLady

Sometimes when you get something in writing you can interpret it differently. I know that some people like to "push" the program. I am in the fellowship, but I believe in the power of suggestion not the power of making someone feel like an idiot. All my life I felt like an idiot. One of the many reasons why I drank. My insecurities. I apologies if anyone offended you who represent AA, but not all of us are like that. I respect the fact that you have recovered without the program and I hope that you respect me that I am recovering with it. Bless you on your journey and we all, especially myself need to chill on other people's opinions. Cause after all, its just what it is. Their opinions. Good luck and take care.

Timebuster

Sorry recovered1, but you remind me of tibs. Anyway, I hope you find peace and recovery in your life.

Ivan

Astro

Recovered1...When you post a question in the Alcoholism forum regarding "what works" you're going to get enthusiastic AA'ers sharing what has helped and worked for them. Why is that a surprise? I'm not going to speak for the other AA'ers on SR, but I really don't feel like I'm on a sinking ship, in fact I'm living a life beyond my wildest dreams and expectations.

Yes, there are many other options for recovery programs, take what you want and leave the rest, and if someone gets under your skin you're free to ignore them or not respond.

Again, we're trying to help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. And for quite a few of us, doing that requires mentioning the program of AA.

Sugah

Recovered1, I surely don't want to add my voice to those I'm sure you've perceived as ganging up on you. And in that spirit, I won't mention what I have found works for my recovery.

In the last thread you began, you made several conflicting, or at least at-odds comments:

This all sounds very familiar to me, and I've been meditating on whether it's useful to you to reveal what circumstantial but very convincing evidence I've unearthed in a little research. I've come to the conclusion that it is enabling to you if I don't speak up. I'm sure others have the same suspicions.

You posted here for about six months under another name. Most of your time was spent in the Alcoholism forum, with a short self-exile into the Secular Connections forum. Some expressed frustration with you, you expressed frustrations and offense at what others offered to you. At the time you stopped posting, there were a number of people who expressed concern for you, and by the looks of your visitor messages beyond your last post under that name, you never let them know why you were changing identities.

Now you're back with the same problems, seeking different answers with slightly different wording in your questions, and you're angry because nothing's changed. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

I won't reveal your former user name. Like I said, I imagine other long-time members have already put two and two together. We've got a lot of bright folks on the board. I would like to ask a couple of questions, and I don't care if you answer them to me. They're more ones I'd suggest you ask yourself.

What, exactly, do you think is going to be different this time? If you're the one who's raising the glass to your lips, how can you expect any help until you open yourself up and become willing to change you? I don't care how you do it, and though I do care about anyone who truly wants help, I don't think you do.

There, I said what I came to say. Sometimes silence is the same thing as cosigning another's B-S.

I wish you well, "Recovered1."

Peace & Love,
Sugah

sfgirl

Wow, I just read your other thread, and if I were you I would be really pissed as well. I mean you asked a simple question, if I can't do AA what are some other resources for me, and then you got three pages of people berating you for not choosing AA or telling you that you weren't giving AA enough of a change. Annoying and frustrating.

I agree with you that in 2009 things should be different. This isn't about AA so much as it is about the treatment field in general. Of all the people who suffer from alcoholism something like only 10% ever make it into treatment; and only 1% ever receive pharmacological treatment which combined with counseling has very significant rates of success. There are something like 16-18 million alcoholics in the US. If you compare those statistics to any other chronic diseases the discrepancies are huge. There is a serious problem.

All this being said, of course you can get sober without AA, but it takes a little digging because the resources aren't quite as all over the place and unfortunately a lot of medical doctors and psychologists are not up to speed (each are only mandated one class on addiction to get their degree). Here are some resources:

American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry
ASAM - American Society of Addiction Medicine
Buddhist Recovery
Naltrexone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Acamprosate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
NAADAC

I think that often there are therapy groups or outpatient groups that are run for addicts not done in the 12-step format. If you look at the Treatment locator maybe you can find a rehab that offers groups that you can participate in. You may have to pay but they will be run by a professional and have attendance capped (probably....these are things I am guessing at).

A book that tells the stories of all different methods of successful recovery including many who do not recover through AA is

Sober for Good by Anne Fletcher you can hear her on the radio here:
Problem Drinking : NPR

For getting sober there are tons of great books on recovery and addiction. Sometimes because AA is so ubiquitous you might have to bear some of the lingo but that just comes with the territory— it is a take what you want and leave the rest game when you forge out on your own and for me and my own recovery it has been an awesome journey.

tiburon88

I use to get nasty PM's from AA folks as well. They made me feel worse. But then I just started to ignore them.

tib

AlwaysGrowing

Recoverd1

It seems others care about you more than you care about yourself. Just a thought, but it is possible you might have an issue and need help. I mean, why in earth would you come here and sign up. Normal people don't do that except if they are dealing with a family member who has issues.

I am not PMing you, but hey I'm sober today and have been for um... many years. It wasn't from shunning people wanting to help. But if you want to die.. Well then it is your God given right to do so.

AG