Untoxicated

If I had a dollar for every time I used this excuse to drink...

ArtofChange

Untoxicated, I hear you. I hope that by posting my thoughts and being completely honest with myself, I will look back on this a remember why I joined this site in the first place.

I'll get there. Dammit, I'm going to get there. Myself and my family deserve better and I'm not quite ready to check out yet.

Untoxicated

Good for you, glad you're here.

I often question if I'm an alcoholic or just enjoyed too much alcohol while on anti-depressants.

The one question I ask though is, "If I don't have a problem with alcohol, why did I join a site about problems with alcohol?" I usually come to a swift conclusion!

ArtofChange

Yep, that is a good point. A lot of it for me is my personal perception of how I beleive I should be as a man. Add in the fact that I have tried to quit this many times and I feel I have a problem.

ArtofChange

Day # 5 which isnt too big of a deal for me. It's during the weekend that I get in trouble. I've got an appointment this afternoon with a counselor to see about learning some self control techniques and coping skills or knowledge. I'm determined this time to make a positive change in my life.

24hrsAday

good going Art.. keep us posted..

mmeat

Hey..thats a pretty good idea. How do you find these kind of counselors? Would it be an addiction counselor?

ArtofChange

Well, I'm a disabled Veteran so I have access to many counselors who specialize in different areas. If he cant give me some info, I'm sure he will refer me to someone who can. I'm trying to be proactive. Man, I hope this all works. It's time for some change.

CarolD

Thank you for your service to our country.


Both my son and his older son are members of
the DAV and use medical resources from the VA

Thankfully...alcoholism is not part of their medical issues
but the VA has been immensley helful to them.
Especially true of the PTSD counseling/clinics.

I'm not sure if this is your situation...only guessing you
are in the U.S.

All my best as you continue to move forward...

ArtofChange

Yes, I am in the US. I went over to Iraq in 2004 for OIF II. I'm service-connected for PTSD for a little over a year. I've never gone there for alcohol problems. I learned some valuable knowledge and coping skills this afternoon at my session. Next Tuesday my wife goes up with me so that she can better understand why I act like I do, which should unlock some clues to keeping control of myself over alcohol I hope.

It's an ongoing battle but like my wife and I agree, I am 1,000 times better than I was this time two years ago. But like we have all discussed on here, it only takes one screw up to hurt myself or God forbid, another person.

basIam

Well, keep going. Eventually you will hear your story. Trust us!

Here are some thngs I hear in meetings that I DO identify with:

"I didn't have a problem stopping, my problem was I would start again!"

"If I start drinking, I dont know when I'll stop... If I stop drinking, I don't know when I'll start!"

"My mind has the insane idea it can go on drinking, long after I'm dead!"

Here's the point, Art . . . alcoholism has killed better men than you and I. Richer, smarter, better looking, more dynamic. My mind will still try to tell me, "I'm better than them" despite the lack of evidence.

The same mind that tell's me "I don't need help" is the same mind that, after a period of sobriety, tells me, "One drink won't hurt!"

I will ask you a simple question, that was asked of me...

"If your mind is capable of lying to you about something as blatant as alcohol, don't you think there is a pretty good chance it is lying to you about other, more subtle, things?"

One of those subtle things just might be, "I don't identify in AA."

rainbowfish

nothing to lose at a meeting Art and so much to gain.

many blessings on your journey to sobriety

ArtofChange

Well, I'm back. right around my last post on here, my in-laws came in to visit for the holidays. I drank a couple of times while they were in but didnt get drunk. But since then, I have binged 4 times.

Man, I'm not sure what to do. I know what I need to do, but its so hard because I have to change my lifestyle as well. Friends and all.

keithj

My experience is summed up with this.

north

If you haven't already, try AA. Chapters are almost everywhere regardless of where you might live. I'm not really active and attend meetings maybe once a month but they definitely helped me overcome the psychological temptations during my first two weeks of sobriety. Yesterday made one full year.

And, if AA either does not work for you, maybe investigate other solutions like asking your physician about Naltrexone aka The Sinclair Method.

If doing it alone and relapsing multiple times, you owe it to yourself to try other methods to reduce or quit excessive drinking.