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Some questions to recovering alcoholics...

Old 12-12-2009, 12:39 AM
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Some questions to recovering alcoholics...

I don't know where to start.

I guess my first question is how did you detox? I recently got a hold of some GHB and while it did stop the withdrawals I managed to abuse it just like alcohol. I guess its pretty clear I am going to abuse any substance that I can get a hold of. I have quit cold turkey in the past, but the withdrawals are getting incredibly intense. Its to the point where the hallucinations, insomnia, anxiety, delusions, and general psychological hell drives me to drink just to stop the insanity. I don't think I can "suck it up" and make it through that first week or two of hell.

I managed to quit drinking for the past week or so and I have had I guess a moment of clarity. I saw reality a bit clearer and I saw that it was my choice to be hopeless. I do realize to make the change back to sobriety is going to be very difficult.

In the past I have ran into all the same problems as everyone else who has tried to quit. Everything seems "boring" and I can't find enjoyment in anything. I miss my old friend alcohol etc etc etc. The thing that bugs me is before I drank alcohol I had several passions that kept me occupied. Since they were passions and huge interests I didn't have to "try" to pursue them. Now that I am an active alcoholic I can't seem to find that thing that captures my interest to make me want to pursue it. When I sober up will I eventually get back to the point where I can find things of interest rather than drugs/alcohol?

Also one serious question I have is have I done permanent brain/liver damage? I am 22 years old and I started drinking when I was 18. It got heavy at 19. Since about age 20 I have drank 20-30 units of alcohol a day on average. If I sober up will I go back to "normal".
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Old 12-12-2009, 01:05 AM
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The best bet for anyone is to see a Dr, Slayer - for some of us detox can be dangerous...at the very least your Dr may be able to prescribe something to help get you through it without you having to revert to drinking.

Similarly, with long term damage - ask your doctor for his or her assessment of your particular case - noone here can answer that for you.

But I do know the sooner you stop, the better chance you have of no lasting damage - many members here have recovered fully

D
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Old 12-12-2009, 07:09 AM
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Glad to see you here again....

Are you aware of PAWS?

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Yes....an honest talk with your doctor is always wise.

Yes...my zest for living returned rather quickly ...
I felt back in balance pysically and mentally by
the end of 2 months of AA recovery.

Keep posting....we do understand...
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Old 12-12-2009, 09:14 AM
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As everyone has said the doc should be your port of call - and the sooner you quit tipping vast quantities of a toxic substance into yourself the sooner the damage is healed
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Old 12-12-2009, 11:45 AM
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yeah alcohol detox is no joke, they say it is the deadliest type of detox out there.
a medical detox or conversation w/ you doctor is advisable imo
that is how it was told to me, and I am glad I took the advise / suggestion
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Old 12-12-2009, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Slayer View Post
Now that I am an active alcoholic I can't seem to find that thing that captures my interest to make me want to pursue it. When I sober up will I eventually get back to the point where I can find things of interest rather than drugs/alcohol?
Welcome to "ism" of alcohol-ism. It will probably take you some time to figure it out but you will never enjoy the same old thrills again. About the only thing that will give you a sense of purpose now is helping others like yourself recover.

If you don't believe it, try doing some 12th step work and see how it affects your equanimity?
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Old 12-12-2009, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post
Welcome to "ism" of alcohol-ism. It will probably take you some time to figure it out but you will never enjoy the same old thrills again. About the only thing that will give you a sense of purpose now is helping others like yourself recover.

If you don't believe it, try doing some 12th step work and see how it affects your equanimity?
Boleo
I have to disagree with you. It takes time but lifes thrills will come back. The ones father time takes away don't come back, but the ones demon alcohol takes will come back. They are for me anyway.
Fred
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Old 12-12-2009, 03:45 PM
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I too did return ... with zeal.... ... to many activities
I enjoyed before my alcoholic drinking.....

First I noticed my mind had cleared thus allowing me
to get back to reading ...Scrabble and crosswords.

The biggest thrill for me was getting re-certified
as a private piolet. I had stopped flying ..I figured it was
.too dangerous for an active alcoholic ..

Yes...sharing the AA message also gives me joy.
However....that is nothing I did before my drinking.
It's a new pleasure......after I quit....

Last edited by CarolD; 12-12-2009 at 04:00 PM.
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Old 12-12-2009, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Nevertheless View Post
Boleo
I have to disagree with you. It takes time but lifes thrills will come back. The ones father time takes away don't come back, but the ones demon alcohol takes will come back. They are for me anyway.
Not every one has the "ism" of alcoholism. If you can return to your old ways of living and actually enjoy them - you never crossed the line between alcoholism and alcohol issues.

If this does not make sense to you, be grateful you don't know what "ism" means. It means the only reprieve is a whole new way to live - 100%
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Old 12-12-2009, 04:20 PM
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Boleo...
What interest or hobbies did you have before alcoholism
became a factor in your life?
Surely you did enjoy something not alcohol related.
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Old 12-12-2009, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Slayer View Post

When I sober up will I eventually get back to the point where I can find things of interest rather than drugs/alcohol?
Of course. But you'll have to sober up first and find true recovery... not just abstinence. It wont come overnight and neither will it come without a journey, of sorts. Think about it.

I think we all have our own experience with this. Mine has been that I have changed my way of living, and thinking. Why was alcohol/drugs so important to me that without them I would perceive my life as being no fun? What part did they play in my life?

If they played center stage and there was little point in engaging in that activity otherwise... keg parties, barrooms, etc... well, that's not on my radar screen anymore.

But I play guitar, hike, whitewater canoe, ski, hunt, bicycle... all of these activities in some way began to involve alcohol or other substances... and, yes, absolutely, I had to find my way back to them... and, I had to reach down deep for motivation, at times...

I am not exactly sure where Boleo is coming from, but when he talks of returning to your old way of living... well no, you probably can't, if in fact your alcoholic... but that doesn't mean you can't LIVE!!!

So my experience has been that I have rediscovered many things of interest... but I had to work for it, and I had to change my way of living. And, you know what?? It's all good.

Not only that, I can easily find time to go to meetings and help others. Who says you can't do some of that behind a fishing pole or in a pair of hiking boots or on a bike.... I've had fellowship with others in recovery that was not in a church basement or in a diner....

Mark
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Old 12-13-2009, 06:16 AM
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Slayer...I will second what Dee said...go see your doctor and get a check up...it will go a long way at putting your mind at ease. As far as finding enjoyment in life that is entirely up to you. Firstly it will take some time...we didn't get to where we are overnight so logic tells us that coming full circle will require time and patience. Please do not fall prey to the message that Boleo is selling. It is entirely untrue and simply his opinion....it might be true that in his sobriety he is not capable of enjoying the things he once did but that is not the norm nor is it a fact. The black and white thinking regarding the "isms" of alcoholism is merely an opinion which has been debunked time and time again here at SR. Life with all its brilliant colors will reveal itself to you again. Continue to move forward with purpose and you will see.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:33 AM
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Slayer, Boleo is 100% correct because he is talking out of his experience. He is using A.A. for his method of alcoholism recovery.

Not the only path, but a path worthy of reacon. "Go out and help another drunk." I cannot see how this would harm anybody who is themself one who both has a problem with booze and wants to take an active part in getting away from the obsession of it.

But Boleo... come on back over to where you are welcome. Dog-paddle on over to 12 Step Support where we can discuss this in peace. You're welcome too Slayer. We won't bite.

I had some fun in my drinking days... but I also have some police officers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, probation officers, judges, DA's, public defenders, road signs, rear quarter panels, ashtrays and walls, friends and family, etc. that would beg to differ how "fun" I was. I have not puked in anybody's face or on anybody's floor or on anybody's bar or pee'd on anybody's couch for a long long long time. When I wake up, I don't have to ask the person in the bed with me, "Did I hurt you last night?" or "And what was your name again?"
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:13 AM
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With all due respect Dog what Boleo said was...."It will probably take you some time to figure it out but you will NEVER enjoy the same old thrills again. About the only thing that will give you a sense of purpose now is helping others like yourself recover." Maybe in Boleos recovery this is true but it has not been my experience nor the experience of many recovered alcoholics that I know. Using words like never is fatalistic...I have no room in my recovery for black and white.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:39 AM
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I needed outside help. I was fortunate to have met a recovery counselor who was licensed in alcohol and addiction. I was treated for several months under his care and the care of a doctor. I would not diagnose anyone with 'alcoholism'...and I certainly couldn't diagnose myself. I am so fortunate to have met my counselor because he helped me find a balance in the fellowship of AA and to live my life again without depending entirely upon the meetings.
When I meet someone struggling with that very dilema, I help them find a LADC or a LCSW MSW, which are primarly licensed clinical social workers who are also in recovery.

I hope this helps.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:42 AM
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It will probably take you some time to figure it out but you will never enjoy the same old thrills again.
If you can return to your old ways of living and actually enjoy them - you never crossed the line between alcoholism and alcohol issues.
I can only hope that you're referring to what we got out of drinking as opposed to life in general. You didn't make it clear in either post.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:43 AM
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So you disagree with another poster, but to say "Please do not fall prey to the message that Boleo is selling." is a bit harsh.

Boleo is gung ho about recovery. He may be coming from the place of mad-dog dangerously anti-social alcoholic. I still don't think he's selling anything, but stating his experience and giving a low-bottom perspective.

To look at 12 step work as we see it today maybe perhaps different than what those guys way back in 1935 faced. There was not a lot of people willing to work with or help the alcoholic as we know it today. I think there still exists a lot of frustration and misunderstanding, but there is hope.

There became a guy who just couldn't seem to kick the sauce and he became acquainted with doctors, clergy members, other folks with a hardline-Christain fellowship, but there was no A.A. So this guy went out and approached other drunks to try to help himself stay sober for yet another day. This became a way of life for him and he learned to do this with improved results when he talked to other drunks about his own drinking. Kind of like what we do in here. I don't think we are necessarily "telling" anybody else what to do or "selling" anything.

Originally Posted by FanofJoeMcQ View Post
...and I certainly couldn't diagnose myself.
I'd agree that no one else can diagnose me, but I am given the dignity to diagnose myself. In fact, there are instructions for doing just that in the program that I belong to. One way involves drinking and the other, safer method, is to see if I can stay stopped and away from the 1st drink for something like a year on my own power.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:01 AM
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Well, so that is Boleo's experience. I find his experience to be different than mine.

Let's remember the OP... a young adult who has identified as alcoholic. He is concerned, like all of those before him, especially those his age, that life will lose it's zing. He's come here for support and re-assurance... Will his life still be interesting?

What is the message he needs to hear? This one...

It will probably take you some time to figure it out but you will never enjoy the same old thrills again.
And then to seal the deal....

About the only thing that will give you a sense of purpose now is helping others like yourself recover.
Is this how you "pitch" a 22 year old?

How about... Yea, you are going to have to change your lifestyle some, maybe a lot... You will find it challenging at first... Activities and interests that you have had before alcohol and that don't involve alcohol will probably come back into your life, perhaps with even more vigor and excitement than ever before.... You will, also, find yourself in the position to help others just like you, and since you will find your new life so much more meaningful you will WANT to help them and show them the way that you found to recover.

Just sayin'

Mark
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:06 AM
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I am as equally "gung ho" about recovery Dog. Slayer as I see it, asked for the experience of recovering alcoholics. Had Boleo stated that HE never enjoyed the same old thrills again and that the only thing that gave HIM a sense of purpose was working with other alcoholics I would have not taken exception. However he gave Slayer a very, IMO, grave diagnosis. My experience was not like Boleos and I wanted and still do want Slayer to know that early sobriety is difficult and with time and patience things do get better.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:22 AM
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I don't think that age should be placed on the recovery from something that can be as grave as a potentially life and death illness which I believe alcoholism to be.

I wanted to grow up too fast by the time I was about 5 years old. Had drank booze, smoked cigarettes with my 15 year old brother, had interest in the fairer sex, had learned to play pool and shoot craps and play poker.

Age is a state of mind, if you ask me. I have a blast in sobriety. I can go to parties and rock concerts and go on cruises and hang out with people who drink and do drugs. I don't like the drama of hanging out with people who get wasted or break the law blatantly anymore... but I can understand them.

Having a nice time getting ready for the holidays and hope you all are doing likewise.
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