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What has Alcohol Done for You If you had to describe your relationship with Alcohol, how would you describe it? What has it done for you or what has it cost you? |
Made me what I am today. I had to go through what I did to be a better person. Alcohol isn't the problem, I was. |
Used to be a very good friend on who l could rely on to help me when l was feeling bad and when l was feeling good. Now it's the cause of a lot of trouble and has done things to my life that l don't even want to think about. |
I'm with Cap on this one. It lead me to the spiritual path of recovery which is Alcoholics Anonymous, I took the treatment, and it worked. Now I'm in a place of "will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." I'm in a place where I can help other alcoholics who both know that they are alcoholic and want to do something about it. |
My drinking began as a teen rebelion ..an effort to be more sophisticated than my religious non drinking family. Decades later....it had cost me my self respect and almost my sanity....:yup: By re-connecting to God and active in AA I've now come to know a new joy and purpose. |
It took center stage in my life. Even now, as I recover. I will find balance eventually. Mark |
Destroyed my social life and self esteem. Now I'm sober, but I'm alone, having issues to sleep and keep a normal life, I feel like crap, useless. I have a job and work at home and I'm not happy, it's difficult to "fit" once you're sober. I hope with more time and sobriety I might achieve something related to friendship and relationship. |
Alcohol was my best friend. It was my 'go to' buddy. We did everything together. Going out, socializing, camping, boating, fishing, relaxing at home; everything I did was so much more fun, so much more interesting with my buddy along for the ride. I couldn't imagine life without it--even when my 'best friend' started to turn on me, I made excuses. I was still in control, wasn't I? I wasn't physically dependent. I rationalized. I'll never have that morning drink. I'll slow down if I ever start getting the shakes. I researched. Vitamin B1 and milk thistle daily, that's the ticket! Benzos for the nasty anxiety, to even me out when certain responsibilities meant that I couldn't start drinking when I wanted (needed) to. After years and years of fun together, it seemed that my 'go to' buddy had somehow taken over the drivers seat. The relationship had changed. I could not do anything without my buddy. My 'best friend' was making more and more demands on my time, my relationships and my sanity. I stopped socializing, I would not go to any event that I couldn't drink heavily at. When I did go out it would be to dark disgusting dive bars (all the time telling myself and others that I preferred these places--at least they knew how to pour a drink!) My blackouts (which have always been a side effect of my drinking since day one) started to get longer and scarier. My hangovers had evolved. I started neglecting my family, my children, my appearance. Drinking was all that mattered. I always needed a full supply now. If I ran out it would mean nastiness...I started seizing once, in front of a couple of family members and my 4 year old child. But it was still fun right? My best friend, who had been with me through everything, was trying to kill me. Yet I still made excuses. I ended the relationship almost three months ago. It was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I knew the relationship had to end, I knew if it didn't I'd end up in jail, in an asylum or dead, but it was still excruciating. After the withdrawal and fog subsided I was very depressed. The first few weeks I felt as if I'd lost my best friend. As if there had been a death. Crazy (when I think of it) that I was mourning the buddy that was trying to kill me. I'm still very new to this, and I still have flashes of that feeling--but it's getting better. With the help of an amazing recovery program, and a network of people who are supporting me I feel like I can do this. I am grateful that I stopped when I did. That I still have a family. That (like many of you have said) my once 'best friend' led me to AA and a life in which I am slowly learning to be happy and functional in without drinking. |
I've been pondering this post all day, not wanting to reply because I couldn't come up with an explanation that sounded reasonable. Alcohol was fun for so many years, it filled a hole in my soul that nothing else could plug up. I loved partying, loved drinking, loved the way it made me feel so good-looking and popular. But that was all a lie, a deception. Alcohol quietly and slowly tore apart my marriages and other relationships, and my sanity in the end. It took away everything that I held dear and thought was important to me. Marriages, homes, friendships. *poof* Gone. I agree with Captain, alcohol made me what I am today. Strangely, I'm very grateful for that. I can't imagine what a hell it would be to still be out there. |
The program has worked if, you can say you're a grateful alcoholic :) |
To sum it all up. It ruined my life. Although I always have held my job and not let it get worse than that(i had to have a way to pay for my habit). My #1 priority after work was getting drunk. Getting drunk came above all else. But I still have some time to do better. Right now I don't see how I could ever drink again. But I'm just one drink away from going back. Fred |
Alcohol-- sh*t.. alcohol hasn't done anything for me except ruin my life. I’m not kidding. The innocent, driven, hard working girl with direction in my life that I once used to be has turned into a lazy, unproductive, go-through-the-motions depressed drunk over the past 3 years. I’ve failed classes because of it (wasting thousands of dollars), let it ruin what was once an amazing relationship (the man I wanted so badly to marry), lost friends because of it, lost jobs because of it, haven’t saved a f*ckin penny (literally- you know you've got a problem when you work a lunch shift waiting tables and spend the only 15 dollars you made on a pint of mohawk rum, 20 oz coke and the rest at the bar that night), wasted days upon days of my life because of it (so many of which I cannot even remotely remember -- and I'm sure we all know that feeling of regret the next day is the worst feeling ever), hurt my health because of it, put myself in like REALLY risky situations that caused me immense stress after… the list goes on and on and on and on. I hate alcohol. But what I hate most about it is how much I actually love it, and crave it, and the fact that right now it controls my life when I'm just a baby at 22 years old. Luckily I recognize it, can admit it, tried only once so far (half-heartedly) to quit... I'm praying someday I can pull myself out of it (before it's not too late...) Whew, that feels good to get that off my chest :) haha p.s. all of you guys are awesome here. It's times like these when I love living in 2009 because I can just hop on a computer and listen to all you strong people! |
You know that boyfriend that you had who made you feel so good? Made you feel like you were the queen of the world? Filled that whole in your gut? Gave you confidence? Was always there? Day or night. Booze did that. And then he started to beat me. I still loved him. I still wanted everything we used to have and sometimes we were okay but I never knew. I never knew when he would throw a punch or a slap. I kept trying to get the old times back again. I begged. I pleaded. I tried to control him. I tried to control me. I broke up with that boyfriend and sometimes I think "aw, he was okay. He wasn't that bad" and then I shake my head and say "nope. He worked for awhile but he don't work no more". He was my best friend. He will kill me if I go back to him. |
Originally Posted by soberinwpg
(Post 2456299)
You know that boyfriend that you had who made you feel so good? Made you feel like you were the queen of the world? Filled that whole in your gut? Gave you confidence? Was always there? Day or night. Booze did that. And then he started to beat me. I still loved him. I still wanted everything we used to have and sometimes we were okay but I never knew. I never knew when he would throw a punch or a slap. I kept trying to get the old times back again. I begged. I pleaded. I tried to control him. I tried to control me. I broke up with that boyfriend and sometimes I think "aw, he was okay. He wasn't that bad" and then I shake my head and say "nope. He worked for awhile but he don't work no more". He was my best friend. He will kill me if I go back to him. |
Yeah, we don't have a "thanks" button today, but thanks for sharing that soberinwnpg! |
Alcohol Gave me my first spiritual awakening @14 years old. 14 to 24: Man it was magic..I didn't need anyone but me and my God Budweiser for many years...Ahhh..the good old days. . Thank you Bud, I don't know how I would have made it without you. 24-34: All hell broke loose.. |
For the sake of a quick fix relief from anxiety and transient flight from reality (wears off very quickly after 3rd drink) it has cost me - my peace of mind self respect respect of my children as i am keeping the "family curse" alive and they do not like seeing or hearing from me when i have been drinking my motivation,as drinking really ZAPPS it my health, as takes days to recover from drink bout,depression, anxiety,weight increases relationships as isolate after drinking as so miserable and ashamed |
Alcohol helped me maintain a social life as a teen when my friends all wanted to go out clubbing and I was crippled with anxiety. I knew my anxiety wouldn't make me a recluse because booze would take that anxiety away and I could be the outgoing extravert I always was. Alcohol numbed the pain of a controlling sexually abusive partner twice my age. I saw no way out but at least alcohol made it less unbearable. Alcohol gave me a break from the pain of my chronic physical illness. Alcohol basically gave me a break from all the pain during my teens. But now, in my mind-twenties, having sought professional help from therapists and met an amazing man, I have realised that alcohol, for all those years, enabled me to run away from my pain. It 's time to stop running away. I've worked hard to deal with my past and now all that is left to conquer is that one last cause of pain and I can finally be the person I have been deep down. I look foward to a new year where I get me back. |
Originally Posted by sphalerite
(Post 2456169)
Alcohol was my best friend. It was my 'go to' buddy. We did everything together. Going out, socializing, camping, boating, fishing, relaxing at home; everything I did was so much more fun, so much more interesting with my buddy along for the ride. I couldn't imagine life without it--even when my 'best friend' started to turn on me, I made excuses. I was still in control, wasn't I? I wasn't physically dependent. I rationalized. I'll never have that morning drink. I'll slow down if I ever start getting the shakes. I researched. Vitamin B1 and milk thistle daily, that's the ticket! Benzos for the nasty anxiety, to even me out when certain responsibilities meant that I couldn't start drinking when I wanted (needed) to. After years and years of fun together, it seemed that my 'go to' buddy had somehow taken over the drivers seat. The relationship had changed. I could not do anything without my buddy. My 'best friend' was making more and more demands on my time, my relationships and my sanity. I stopped socializing, I would not go to any event that I couldn't drink heavily at. When I did go out it would be to dark disgusting dive bars (all the time telling myself and others that I preferred these places--at least they knew how to pour a drink!) My blackouts (which have always been a side effect of my drinking since day one) started to get longer and scarier. My hangovers had evolved. I started neglecting my family, my children, my appearance. Drinking was all that mattered. I always needed a full supply now. If I ran out it would mean nastiness...I started seizing once, in front of a couple of family members and my 4 year old child. But it was still fun right? My best friend, who had been with me through everything, was trying to kill me. Yet I still made excuses. I ended the relationship almost three months ago. It was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I knew the relationship had to end, I knew if it didn't I'd end up in jail, in an asylum or dead, but it was still excruciating. After the withdrawal and fog subsided I was very depressed. The first few weeks I felt as if I'd lost my best friend. As if there had been a death. Crazy (when I think of it) that I was mourning the buddy that was trying to kill me. I'm still very new to this, and I still have flashes of that feeling--but it's getting better. With the help of an amazing recovery program, and a network of people who are supporting me I feel like I can do this. I am grateful that I stopped when I did. That I still have a family. That (like many of you have said) my once 'best friend' led me to AA and a life in which I am slowly learning to be happy and functional in without drinking. |
At one point or another alcohol gave me everything, but then it took everything away. I am one of those alcoholics that still had alot of "yets" but eventually I hit all of them, I had not lost a job, so I did, I had not gone to jail or prison, so I did that too. In the end which is today I have 472 days sober and I love myself today. Alcohol gave me an adventerous life and a sense of self worth by being able to get and want to stay sober. |
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