Marlie

I have written before about a co-worker who has admitted that she thinks she has a drinking problem. She says she passes out with drinks in her hand, can't stop drinking once she starts, says that she is shaking at work when she can't drink. I have listened to her talk and when she asked me if I thought she had a problem, I answered that if you ask yourself the question then most likley you have a problem.

My question today is does a drinking problem make you angry all the time. She is angry at co-workers, her boss (behind the bosses back), the customers she deals with (she hangs up the phone on them and sometimes slams it on the desk - only when her boss isn't around). We have always been office buddies but recently she is angry at me. This isn't mild anger either --- she is hostile and overreacts to things that wouldn't make most people angry. This is one instance, she was looking through a file for something and I said I would find it. She stormed off, stomping her feet and shouting at me that she would never help me AGAIN!

I don't think there is anything I can say to help her, she needs to realize her problem herself but....

is this anger usual for someone with a drinking problem?

CarolD

There is no way of knowing exactly why your co worker
is doing anything. It may or may not have a correlation
to drinking.
I've worked with and met many unpleasant people who were not drinkers.

Sugah

I can't diagnose your co-worker, but I can tell you how it was with me. I was a very mean, nasty, unpredictable drunk. My father was the same kind of drunk, as was my sister. I could usually keep it together when I wasn't drinking, but not always. For some of us, the anger comes out when we can't drink, not when we are, because it's an answer to our misery. We drunks aren't all that way, but at a certain point in our drinking, most of us are miserable in one way or another.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Weeza

Hi Marlie, I would have loved to have known a caring co-worker
who would go out of her way to see if I was in trouble when I was
actively drinking-- that would have been a Godshot for me.

I'm new to this board so don't know if I'm allowed to refer a link,
but Alcoholics Anonymous has a pamphlet called "Is A.A. For You?"
"Twelve questions only you can answer" -- you could go on the Internet
and put those key words into a search engine, and when you get to
the official AA site, look for that pamphlet, make a print out.

Since your co-worker asked you if you thought she had a problem
with drinking and you rightly were able to answer that only she would
know how to answer that question, you thought about it some and
found a self-quiz that she can take. Tell her you're just trying to be
helpful because she asked for your advice.

It could be that she'll react angrily to your 'insinuating' that she has
a drinking problem, but the truth is, you really don't know and can't
answer, only she can, so by passing on this self-quiz, she might
have some peace of mind one way or another.

take care