tiburon88

[QUOTE=Dee74;2452277]Tib

you keep putting this back to what other people do to you....
things really do change when you start thinking about what you can do for yourself.

How do u think I feel when people are suggesting that I'm better off in jail than at an AA meeting! What can of support is that? I guess I just don't get it. I'm probably the most unpopular poster on this website. O well.


tiburon

debs

Maybe I haven't been around long enough to know much, but I would hate to be in tib's shoes right now... Yeah, he was wrong for cussing out someone, and maybe the club had a right to bar him... but we are about support here, right?

I've f*cked up plenty of times and made an a$$ of myself plenty of times.. he may have some issues he needs to work out but I don't think we're here to judge..

Just my two cents.

Carry on, carry on!

I'm on my way to some nice, sober, peaceful sleep. I hope you get there one day, Tib. I really do.

(And God knows I hope I stay this way!)

Dee74

If you're focusing just on the posts you don't like, you've missed a lot of great really supportive posts - even in this thread alone, Tib.

...and that's not my fault either

good luck mate
D

chrisinaustin

Was your original post meant to establish a contest? Were you waiting around for a winner?

I don't know you, but I know me -- who I used to be -- and I see me in your posts.

I held contests all the time. There were no winners, but a whole lot of people lost. And I was so hopeless and angry, I savored every minute of it.

And then: How dare you be mad at me? I started nothing! I'm sick!

I did this over and over again. Like a robot. It was the only set of programming I could execute.

In AA, where you continue to go, and a place and solution I ignored for two decades, I found a simple set of instructions that instead of deprogramming or reprogramming me, freed me. No more robot.

I wish I could convey in a vulcan mind meld what this looks like for me. What I can see from this side of it. The clarity of it. To you, to a whole bunch of people -- because right here and right now in the physical world, I have friends who are circling the drain. But I can't.

But it's there. I swear.

I wish you nothing but the best.

Recovered1

[QUOTE=tiburon88;2452282] Tiburon,

I think you are probably the most *interesting* poster on this website.

Still, I don't see the responsibility on your part. Just think, if you got sober, you would be even more interesting!

tiburon88

[QUOTE=Recovered1;2452303]
I've been told that I think "outside the box" a lot. I'm very creative & one day plan to write a book. (non drug/alcohol related).

scrappy tiburon

Bamboozle

I'm just curious, tib. What would it take for you to quit? Have you asked yourself this?


I wanted to quit for a long time before I quit. I couldn't do it until I received proper treatment for depression, but before that I had to acknowledge my role in things. It's been a difficult journey. Changing one's life is very hard and it all starts with throwing the bottle away.

Does sobriety scare you?

I was scared...I didn't know how I'd cope. I'd been drinking long enough that I had no idea what I'd be like as an adult sober. In the beginning I felt lost and hopeless every time I thought about never being able to drink again.

I couldn't stay sober on my own...I can't thank my therapist and doctor enough.

Quitting drinking is the first thing and the most important thing to do. It's easy to get overwhelmed when thinking about all of the work and changes one must make to live a sober life. I did take it one moment at a time for the longest time.

My priority was and is staying alive. My depression/alcoholism was going to kill me. There are only two things I have to worry about doing every day--stay sober and take my meds when and how I'm supposed to. All of the rest is a work-in-progress. I am on SR nearly every day. I go to therapy when I can afford it. I do a lot of work on myself by reading books, stuff on the internet, and by thinking.

My anxiety has improved greatly. My depression is not in control. I'm starting to feel like a normal human being.

None of this has been easy to handle. I don't have the words to describe what I've been through. There have been many times that the last thing I wanted to do was stay sober...and yet staying sober was the thing I did. I'd hide in my bed and cry until I was tired enough to go to sleep.

We're scared for you, tib. That's why you are getting responses you don't like. These people responding to you have been where you are at and know how serious your situation is.

The only way I could do this all was because I found it within myself to care and to try. I stopped worrying about everyone else and focused on myself instead. For all the help I’ve received it still comes down to me and what I’m willing to do.

CarolD

Tib gets back in the Alano club.
Crisis adverted.
He is not finding our sharing supportive.

Please use PM to continue the drama.
Thanks everyone.....

This topic is closed.