What worked for me...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
What worked for me...
I visited a friend yesterday at her lakehouse. It is such a beautiful house and it's right on the lake. It is my dream house.
She was talking about how they like to sit out on the patio at night and just talk and look at the lake. Immediately, my mind went to doing that while drinking beer. Then she talked about some great restaruants on the lake that they drive their boat to. I imagined doing that while drinking beer too.
Those thoughts of "I can't have fun without alcohol" and "maybe when I'm no longer pregnant, I can figure out a way to only drink for special events" started coming back.
What's interesting is that a couple months ago I would have entertained those thoughts of drinking much longer... But this time, almost immediately as I began to think those thoughts of drinking, I began to think it through.
I looked at my friend and I thought I'm sure she doesn't get drunk if she does drink. If I lived here and took it as natural to drink every time I was relaxing, I'd be drunk every single day. I'd probably drink sun up to sun down. I'd embarrass myself. I'd hate myself.
Then I thought about the times I did drink at her house in the past. She threw me a wedding shower. The thought of how much I drank now makes me shudder with embarrassment. I'm sure no one drank as much as me... I'm sure I didn't thank her as much as I should have either.
Then I thought about how if I ever drink even one beer, I'll drink 13. I'll wake up the next day feeling so guilty, so ashamed, and hungover... I remember perfectly how bad that felt.
And I thought how I'd feel if I did the things she described... sitting on the porch and talking, going to a lake restaruant... without drinking... maybe it wouldn't be as much fun... but I'd wake up the next day and have nothing to feel ashamed about. I would remember everything. I could feel REAL happiness and REAL relaxation living a life on the lake.
It's a shame I have a problem with drinking. But I shouldn't let my mind fester on that. Instead, I need to never let myself forget the reasons I can't drink. And I need to remind myself that being sober is not as bad as this alcoholic voice keeps telling me it is.
I think it helps me to force myself to imagine doing things sober that the alcoholic voice tells me I cannot do without drinking... imagine it right through to the next day when I wake up and am not hungover or ashamed.
Thing is: My alcoholic voice is always telling me things won't be fun without drinking. But then I do them sober and it's really not as awful being sober as I had thought. Heck, sometimes I even have alot of fun. Every experience I have where I prove the alcoholic voice wrong and have fun without beer allows me to imagine other situations where I can have fun sober.
She was talking about how they like to sit out on the patio at night and just talk and look at the lake. Immediately, my mind went to doing that while drinking beer. Then she talked about some great restaruants on the lake that they drive their boat to. I imagined doing that while drinking beer too.
Those thoughts of "I can't have fun without alcohol" and "maybe when I'm no longer pregnant, I can figure out a way to only drink for special events" started coming back.
What's interesting is that a couple months ago I would have entertained those thoughts of drinking much longer... But this time, almost immediately as I began to think those thoughts of drinking, I began to think it through.
I looked at my friend and I thought I'm sure she doesn't get drunk if she does drink. If I lived here and took it as natural to drink every time I was relaxing, I'd be drunk every single day. I'd probably drink sun up to sun down. I'd embarrass myself. I'd hate myself.
Then I thought about the times I did drink at her house in the past. She threw me a wedding shower. The thought of how much I drank now makes me shudder with embarrassment. I'm sure no one drank as much as me... I'm sure I didn't thank her as much as I should have either.
Then I thought about how if I ever drink even one beer, I'll drink 13. I'll wake up the next day feeling so guilty, so ashamed, and hungover... I remember perfectly how bad that felt.
And I thought how I'd feel if I did the things she described... sitting on the porch and talking, going to a lake restaruant... without drinking... maybe it wouldn't be as much fun... but I'd wake up the next day and have nothing to feel ashamed about. I would remember everything. I could feel REAL happiness and REAL relaxation living a life on the lake.
It's a shame I have a problem with drinking. But I shouldn't let my mind fester on that. Instead, I need to never let myself forget the reasons I can't drink. And I need to remind myself that being sober is not as bad as this alcoholic voice keeps telling me it is.
I think it helps me to force myself to imagine doing things sober that the alcoholic voice tells me I cannot do without drinking... imagine it right through to the next day when I wake up and am not hungover or ashamed.
Thing is: My alcoholic voice is always telling me things won't be fun without drinking. But then I do them sober and it's really not as awful being sober as I had thought. Heck, sometimes I even have alot of fun. Every experience I have where I prove the alcoholic voice wrong and have fun without beer allows me to imagine other situations where I can have fun sober.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
One of the many positive things I've noticed as a non drinker
my idea of what's fun has changed drastically.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us....
sounds as tho you are working out life to your benefit.
Last edited by CarolD; 12-01-2009 at 07:44 AM. Reason: Typo
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
When I look back, I honestly cannot recall an occasion when I enjoyed drinking. I was either trying really hard to be good or being really out of control and drinking way to much. There was no balance there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: california
Posts: 323
You just described exactly how I feel. It's that alcoholic voice that tells us we can't have fun w/o drinking. But is it fun? NO. Being ashamed, being drunk, being hung over, embarrassing yourself= NOT FUN.
I love what you said, Carol, about changing the definitions of fun. I am working on being present in the moment and not trying to "heighten" it by having thoughts of drinking.
I love what you said, Carol, about changing the definitions of fun. I am working on being present in the moment and not trying to "heighten" it by having thoughts of drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
I've thought really hard about why drinking seems so much fun to me. I can only describe it as a euphoric feeling that I get when I drink. I looked up that word, Eurphoria, because it really is the perfect explanation....
"Euphoria is medically recognized as a mental/emotional state defined as a sense of great elation and wellbeing. Euphoria is generally considered to be exaggerated, resulting from an abnormal psychological state with or without the use of psychoactive drugs and not typically achieved during the normal course of human experience."
Ok, so I get this exaggerated emotional high. However, it is fleeting. It only lasts a little while. I keep drinking more and more, irrationally thinking that the more I drink the more of that euphoric feeling I will get. But what I get is just sloppy. I do very stupid and embarrassing things. I slur. I blackout. I pass out. This happens every time I drink.
Then the next day I am ashamed, mortified, confused about what all I did the night before, and very sick. I hate myself... until the next time I drink.
If I were to graph this, it would look like a rollar coaster. When I first started drinking, there were more highs than lows. Over time the lows not only got more frequent but also more pronounced and longer than the highs. Also, over time the normal state got lower and lower.
When I don't drink, I can't acheive a euphoric feeling whenever I want... but I don't get the really low-lows either. My overall average is much higher than it was when I was drinking. And happiness comes, it just comes at times and in ways I don't always anticipate.
"Happiness is like a butterfly: If you try to chase it, it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to something else, it may come and sit softly on your shoulder." Henry David Thoreau
"Euphoria is medically recognized as a mental/emotional state defined as a sense of great elation and wellbeing. Euphoria is generally considered to be exaggerated, resulting from an abnormal psychological state with or without the use of psychoactive drugs and not typically achieved during the normal course of human experience."
Ok, so I get this exaggerated emotional high. However, it is fleeting. It only lasts a little while. I keep drinking more and more, irrationally thinking that the more I drink the more of that euphoric feeling I will get. But what I get is just sloppy. I do very stupid and embarrassing things. I slur. I blackout. I pass out. This happens every time I drink.
Then the next day I am ashamed, mortified, confused about what all I did the night before, and very sick. I hate myself... until the next time I drink.
If I were to graph this, it would look like a rollar coaster. When I first started drinking, there were more highs than lows. Over time the lows not only got more frequent but also more pronounced and longer than the highs. Also, over time the normal state got lower and lower.
When I don't drink, I can't acheive a euphoric feeling whenever I want... but I don't get the really low-lows either. My overall average is much higher than it was when I was drinking. And happiness comes, it just comes at times and in ways I don't always anticipate.
"Happiness is like a butterfly: If you try to chase it, it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to something else, it may come and sit softly on your shoulder." Henry David Thoreau
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thanks LBW, so scary I thought I wrote it, its crazy. each morning I think I cant take this any longer, by night i restart the cycle.
In the night I am hot and ever trying to cool with my heart racing or pounding...
One day I promise, I am done!
In the night I am hot and ever trying to cool with my heart racing or pounding...
One day I promise, I am done!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
Something Better,
I went through a good 4-5 year period where I would wake up and be so sure I didn't want to drink that night. In the morning I wouldn't feel an urge at all. I would ask myself, why is it so hard to not drink at night? Why couldn't I just feel the way I did in the morning all day long.
Then, inevitably, 5 pm would roll around and as I drove home all I could think about was drinking beer. I can still remember the salivating just thinking about the taste of cold beer. I was like a crazed animal.
I'd drink the first 3 or 4 beers very quickly within the first hour of being home. I typically would drink about 12 a night... but I had to make sure to always have at least an 18 pack on hand because if I got to 12 and I didn't have any more left, I would flip out.
What a way to live! I had a 10 minute walk from the parking lot into the building at work. On the mornings after I drank I would spend those 10 minutes going over what I did the night before, berating myself, disgusted with myself... I'd have a horrible hangover. I would be coming in late. I would look disheveled and not put together. I hated that.
I never want to go back to that. It was pure misery.
I went through a good 4-5 year period where I would wake up and be so sure I didn't want to drink that night. In the morning I wouldn't feel an urge at all. I would ask myself, why is it so hard to not drink at night? Why couldn't I just feel the way I did in the morning all day long.
Then, inevitably, 5 pm would roll around and as I drove home all I could think about was drinking beer. I can still remember the salivating just thinking about the taste of cold beer. I was like a crazed animal.
I'd drink the first 3 or 4 beers very quickly within the first hour of being home. I typically would drink about 12 a night... but I had to make sure to always have at least an 18 pack on hand because if I got to 12 and I didn't have any more left, I would flip out.
What a way to live! I had a 10 minute walk from the parking lot into the building at work. On the mornings after I drank I would spend those 10 minutes going over what I did the night before, berating myself, disgusted with myself... I'd have a horrible hangover. I would be coming in late. I would look disheveled and not put together. I hated that.
I never want to go back to that. It was pure misery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: nj
Posts: 541
Originally Posted by LBW 
I
Ok, so I get this exaggerated emotional high. However, it is fleeting. It only lasts a little while. I keep drinking more and more, irrationally thinking that the more I drink the more of that euphoric feeling I will get. But what I get is just sloppy. I do very stupid and embarrassing things. I slur. I blackout. I pass out. This happens every time I drink.
Theu
Ok, so I get this exaggerated emotional high. However, it is fleeting. It only lasts a little while. I keep drinking more and more, irrationally thinking that the more I drink the more of that euphoric feeling I will get. But what I get is just sloppy. I do very stupid and embarrassing things. I slur. I blackout. I pass out. This happens every time I drink.
Theu
paging Dr. Silkworth
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
After drinking 12 or more Beers for the last several years and a non stop daily drinker for fifteen years I am trying to quit. I am afraid to go cold turkey and my attempts to stay at or below six is working so far. It is a struggle though, I am depressed waiting for that fix I will allow but I fear the withdrawal going straight from 12 or more to none.
If I can't lower the daily limit before cold turkey on my own I may have to go to detox. For now I am trying my best to lower the daily limit so than I can quit with less danger to myself.
If I can't lower the daily limit before cold turkey on my own I may have to go to detox. For now I am trying my best to lower the daily limit so than I can quit with less danger to myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 36
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: MD
Posts: 64
LBW,
I could have written this I can relate so much to your post, replace beer with wine and that was my life exactly.
I am so glad you are doing well, thank you for posting.
BA
I could have written this I can relate so much to your post, replace beer with wine and that was my life exactly.
I am so glad you are doing well, thank you for posting.
BA
Originally Posted by LBW
Something Better,
I went through a good 4-5 year period where I would wake up and be so sure I didn't want to drink that night. In the morning I wouldn't feel an urge at all. I would ask myself, why is it so hard to not drink at night? Why couldn't I just feel the way I did in the morning all day long.
Then, inevitably, 5 pm would roll around and as I drove home all I could think about was drinking beer. I can still remember the salivating just thinking about the taste of cold beer. I was like a crazed animal.
I'd drink the first 3 or 4 beers very quickly within the first hour of being home. I typically would drink about 12 a night... but I had to make sure to always have at least an 18 pack on hand because if I got to 12 and I didn't have any more left, I would flip out.
What a way to live! I had a 10 minute walk from the parking lot into the building at work. On the mornings after I drank I would spend those 10 minutes going over what I did the night before, berating myself, disgusted with myself... I'd have a horrible hangover. I would be coming in late. I would look disheveled and not put together. I hated that.
I never want to go back to that. It was pure misery.
I went through a good 4-5 year period where I would wake up and be so sure I didn't want to drink that night. In the morning I wouldn't feel an urge at all. I would ask myself, why is it so hard to not drink at night? Why couldn't I just feel the way I did in the morning all day long.
Then, inevitably, 5 pm would roll around and as I drove home all I could think about was drinking beer. I can still remember the salivating just thinking about the taste of cold beer. I was like a crazed animal.
I'd drink the first 3 or 4 beers very quickly within the first hour of being home. I typically would drink about 12 a night... but I had to make sure to always have at least an 18 pack on hand because if I got to 12 and I didn't have any more left, I would flip out.
What a way to live! I had a 10 minute walk from the parking lot into the building at work. On the mornings after I drank I would spend those 10 minutes going over what I did the night before, berating myself, disgusted with myself... I'd have a horrible hangover. I would be coming in late. I would look disheveled and not put together. I hated that.
I never want to go back to that. It was pure misery.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thank you LBW,
I cant stand looking in the miiror anymore, no matter how much i hate me in the AM hours, I still seem to love drinking in the PM after 5 as you said hours, till 12, 1 etc...
18 pack, if i buy one it's gone, every friday and sat for sure in past months I have tested that and failed.
I am starting to question my sanity!
Sorry to jump in your thread, I have not ever created my "Own" thread, not much of a forum guy but you all have a simular story and it keeps me coming back.
I cant stand looking in the miiror anymore, no matter how much i hate me in the AM hours, I still seem to love drinking in the PM after 5 as you said hours, till 12, 1 etc...
18 pack, if i buy one it's gone, every friday and sat for sure in past months I have tested that and failed.
I am starting to question my sanity!
Sorry to jump in your thread, I have not ever created my "Own" thread, not much of a forum guy but you all have a simular story and it keeps me coming back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
I wish I had some personal success story that could be of use in regards to how I stopped the cycle. Unfortunately, I stopped the cycle by getting pregnant. It's probably the easiest way in the world to quit.
I would suggest seeing a doctor to help quit and detox because that seems to have worked for many people in these forums.
However you quit, it is SO WORTH IT!! The way I feel now just on a daily basis is SOOO much better. I wake up each day and I don't have anything to try to remember, I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I don't have to throw up all day... I feel such happiness and gratitude for that.
I would suggest seeing a doctor to help quit and detox because that seems to have worked for many people in these forums.
However you quit, it is SO WORTH IT!! The way I feel now just on a daily basis is SOOO much better. I wake up each day and I don't have anything to try to remember, I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I don't have to throw up all day... I feel such happiness and gratitude for that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 34
Well, it seems to be my first post on this forum
Anyway, why do people drink? If it is not just a little dose of alcohol to relax, or to keep a nice company, drinking makes you feel less shy (the 1st reason), and makes you forget about problems (the 2nd reason). If you have something that makes your life full, something that you consider to be really important for you and your people, if you realize that people around respect and rate you highly enough, drinking turns to be deprived of its reasons.
And one more thing. The world is beautiful and full of harmony. You just have to notice that harmony and let it into your heart. Then, "sitting on the porch and talking, going to a lake restaruant... without drinking..." will become real fun.
Anyway, why do people drink? If it is not just a little dose of alcohol to relax, or to keep a nice company, drinking makes you feel less shy (the 1st reason), and makes you forget about problems (the 2nd reason). If you have something that makes your life full, something that you consider to be really important for you and your people, if you realize that people around respect and rate you highly enough, drinking turns to be deprived of its reasons.
And one more thing. The world is beautiful and full of harmony. You just have to notice that harmony and let it into your heart. Then, "sitting on the porch and talking, going to a lake restaruant... without drinking..." will become real fun.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 34
Thanks! In fact, alcohol has never been my personal problem. But some people I know (or knew...) has had a lot of trouble with it. It is a real tragedy 
Hope, I can do something to encourage all those who have this disastrous craving to quit it for ever.
Hope, I can do something to encourage all those who have this disastrous craving to quit it for ever.
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