surferdude9371

Im new here im Patrick and i am an alcoholic. I have been sober now for a little over seven months and am starting to hit some rough patches where i dont feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel almost socially ******** now that i dont drink anymore talking to people makes me feel so uncomfortable. Ive never really had alot of friends but i also never felt so uncomfortable talking to people i have started to sometimes stutter in speeches at school and have extreme anxiety in normal conversation. I have always pushed people away before they could push me away how do i let them in? Hearing someone compliment me or congratulate me on my recovery makes me uncomfortable and i don't know how to take it or respond. I talked to my sponsor and he said he had similar issues early in his sobriety was wondering if anyone else has experienced this? what helped you?

CarolD

Welcome surferdude9371......

Glad to see you here in our SR Alcoholism Forum

Are you doing any social activities with your AA friends?
Doing any service work around your group?
Have you started your Step work with your sponsor?
Those actions might be a good way to become more comfortable.

Way to go on your 7 months....
I think many of us found it difficult to adjust to
all the changes in early sobreity.

FanofJoeMcQ

Hi. It happened to me. I had to 'work' at polishing my social skills. I still get a bit 'autistic' in conversations. It does get better. I had to learn to recognize the fear rising, my ears usually tell me. And explain to folks I have some social anxiety I am working on. After I admitted it somehow I got thru. Hope that helps. Hang in.

surferdude9371

Thanks for the replies i have started my steps but have put a hold on them for too long now i guess. im so deathly afraid of serious talks i find it hard to even speak in meetings without stuttering and feeling overwhelmed which has partially stopped me from going and speaking in meetings. I dont know how to open up to people and just be real my whole life even with girlfriends has been one joke after another.

FanofJoeMcQ

I stuttered through. It can be done. I no longer stutter as often. Little blips in my conversational voice. As soon as I say I am having some social anxiety, bear with me, my tongue hears my thoughts and they come out better. Hard to explain. I am sure you are nodding. I think some of my speach challenges are also from years of drinking and drugging, so my neuro transmitters short out...I can laugh now BUT it did not FEEL funny when it first started happening. I can personally tell you it goes get better.

I had to skip some words. Especially larger words at first. Then it all came gushing back. Its our brains/bodies cleaning house. So glad you asked about it. I practiced reading outloud at home for a while. That may help also. Hang in and keep coming. Life does get phenominal!!!!!!!!!!!

surferdude9371

"I had to skip some words. Especially larger words at first. Then it all came gushing back. Its our brains/bodies cleaning house. So glad you asked about it. I practiced reading outloud at home for a while. That may help also. Hang in and keep coming. Life does get phenominal!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thanks i think im going to try reading aloud at home that sounds like it will help and telling people in meetings i have social anxiety

FanofJoeMcQ

Its progress not perfection, for sure! So glad we can help each other! I love this site!

barb dwyer

Surferdude-


When I was new to recovery,
I'd be in a conversation with someone
and just stop mid sentence
get up and leave.

I couldn't think of a response other times.
I couldn't figure out why they were taking the oxygen to talk about what
they were talking about.

*how could this possibly matter?*
*why are they talking at all*

You're right on track.
We learn to do things without alcohol
all over the place
in bits and pieces.

You're just in this part of it right now.

I'd be sitting at a table at the club
people around me talking
and I was looking at them
like they were from another plaet.

And up I'd get and GO.
Sometimes I couldn't stop until I was IN my house.

It passes.
Give yourself time.
Take it bit at a time, hon.
You're doin great!

Stereosteveo

Grats on 7 months Patrick!

How about honesty? Maybe next time you're in a meeting start off saying: "I have been sober now for a little over seven months and am starting to hit some rough patches where i dont feel comfortable in my own skin...."

Just get it all out on the table. Tell everyone exactly how you feel all the time! You'll have more answers than you know what to do with before you know it...

People like and respect "real" people. Personally I like the guy who speaks his mind and admits his faults more than Mr. perfect who just goes along with all the BS, lol.

This sobriety trip aint about what they think of you, it's about you getting to know you. All the self-conscious crap we deal with at first is just a symptom of the disease. "Selfish, self-centered, self-seeking".

The solution? Focus on what you can say that may help the other guy who is still suffering. Think about him. If you say "I feel uncomfortable". He's probably thinking "Ya me too, glad he said that. I'm not alone here. Maybe I'm in the right place." And you may meet a new friend after the meeting.

Well that's just a couple quick suggestions. But my suggestions are worthless. If you want some real long lasting relief follow the directions in the book do a "fear" inventory.

Grats again on 7 mos bro!
Steve

CarolD

Stereosteveo .....
Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum