lillie

I'm a heroin addict, a few weeks sober now and back on track and not doing any drugs, except now I've started drinking again. First I just got drunk at parties and then I have started wanting to drink with dinner. I have some strange fascination with margaritas. I guess I've been drinking about 3x a week. Anyway, this is what I've noticed about myself when it comes to alcohol:

1. I never feel that drunk, but I get killer hangovers, usually until the next evening around dinner time, no matter how much water I drink and how un-drunk I feel. Could be related to the suboxone I'm on?

2. I can have very few drinks and black out. Last time I drank, my boyfriend said that we got into an argument when we got home and I accused HIM of being an alcoholic and wouldn't drop it. He said he really can't stand it, that I always seem to pick fights when I'm drunk and won't drop it. We're talking, I had three drinks tops over an entire night, and I don't remember this conversation at all!

Are these symptoms of alcoholism in and of themselves? I know I need to quit and I want to... by the way, I do think that my boyfriend has an alcohol problem, I wasn't "just drunk" when I said that. I don't think he has full-fledged alcoholism yet, but I've noticed he has "the itch" like I do when it comes to dope. Is it impossible to be in a relationship when one person is sober and the other one continues to drink? I really don't want to break up with him, but I think that it would be really hard to quit drinking with his lifestyle. Mostly just cause I'd realize that the parties we go to are actually quite boring.

Just some thoughts...
-Lillie

Dutch226

Whew tricky questions. I'm not even sure I should give opinions. BEAT answer is to go back and read a lot of older threads, especially stickys. Both here and heroin sections. I think you'll pick up common ideas and themes to help you figure it out.

BUT I'm here it's late so I'll give my 2 cents. And keep in mind please I am no expert at all on long term sobriety, heroin at all (never did it).

It's highly probable there is a relationship btween drinking and heroin. Probably should consider seriously stopping all together for a while. Hangovers and blackouts are all common themes and dangers here

real sobriety highly doubtful to work with bf. Sorry to say it, my opinion. See if you can avoid those parties for a good while. Maybe you and bf can work out some sort of deal. Just stay away from temptation. She or he is an evil mother ******.

Sorry for spelling and weirdness in language. Typed it on my phone. At 3am.

Dutch226

Sorry for language to any moderators. Won't do that again.

ClosetExtrovert

I was warned about transfering my addicition from drinking to something else. Wouldn't this be a prime application of that recovery rule?

TheSunAlsoRises

Hey Lillie,

I am an alcoholic. For me it took a lot more than that to black out... but I drank daily. The fact that a couple drinks bring out a darker side of you probably means that you are unhappy (big shock a few weeks off the needle).

There are two young people in my AA group here who are also junkies. About a month ago they both decided they could handle drinking. I saw one of them with 24 hours off H at an NA meeting last night. And the other one I saw being put six feet under on friday. She was 22 years old. Please do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe...

Clayton

smacked

I was a junkie too. for over a dozen years. And a crack head and a drunk. Alcohol was my last vice.. I held onto it with everything I had, and in the end it came closer to causing my death than any of the drugs I ever did.

There is no option if I want to live a healthy life, to pick and choose my drugs of choice. Clean and sober is the only way for *me* to live, otherwise I may as well have quit drinking and gone back to cocaine a few times a week.. absolutely nonsensical.

I hope you get the help you need.

Oh, and your boyfriends issues with alcohol are his own.. and not your business. Your only job right now is YOUR recovery, and I hope that you get help with your addictions soon.

omegasupreme

I would venture to say the blackouts after only a few drinks are due to a couple of things. First, alcohol and suboxone mixed. I remember drinking with oxycodone, dilaudid, and the likes of other morphine based products...it does not take very many drinks to black out. Also the mental and emotional stress maybe adding to it, your addiction issues, your boyfriends issues or symptoms, etc...Certain people get the restless anxiety and never sleep when mentally stressed while others bodies tend to just shut down over the stress. The two or three drinks might be just what the body needs to completely shut down, but if you are completely blacking out there is also the case where you may be sucking down extra drinks or doubling up on the subs without remembering or knowing about it. These are all just things I remember from past exp.

surferdude9371

I never did drugs but i noticed when i stopped drinking i started having more sex to fill that void that i drank away it doesnt matter what you fill that void with sex, drugs, money, alcohol, food, etc you will always be a slave to your addictions until you work through what has given you that empty feeling that is at least what i have discovered for myself

one of

Hi Lillie,

Do you include "weed" when you say you're not doing any drugs? Marijuana and Alcohol did some weird things to my memory and cognitive abilities when I mixed them and it didn't take a lot of the combination to wipe me out, either. That was over 35 years ago now (joined AA at just under 41 years old and now 75) but I think the things I did and the trouble I got into on that mixture helped get me sober and straight a lot sooner than I'd have done on either one alone. Blessings - Chuck

Stereosteveo

Are these symptoms of alcoholism in and of themselves?

A p.44:
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."