Why can I not stop?
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: ALABAMA
Posts: 7
Why can I not stop?
I cannot seem to control drinking after work.I want to just stop however I have to sit in my recliner and have some drinks.I hate myself in the mornings.I go to work and feel better but I get scared after lunch knowing it is almost time to go home and I will drink even though I do not want to.I can go out and not even think of drinking why do I have such trouble when I sit down to relax after work?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi....
I suggest you go to an AA meeting after work.
A long brisk walk...going to a gym...taking a class...in other words, break the habit of sitting home with a bottle...BTW...why do you keep booze at home if you want to quit?
The longer I stayed sober...the less I wanted to drink. My God took away the obsession for me after much prayer.
Cheering you forward...:shades:
A long brisk walk...going to a gym...taking a class...in other words, break the habit of sitting home with a bottle...BTW...why do you keep booze at home if you want to quit?
The longer I stayed sober...the less I wanted to drink. My God took away the obsession for me after much prayer.
Cheering you forward...:shades:
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
I guess the best thing to do would be to sit down and ask yourself "What makes me want to drink after work?". Take a hard honest look at things.
That was were my drinking all started, wanting to unwind after work. Perhaps you have a very stressful job like I did! There just always seemed to be something in me that wanted to chill out as much as possible after work before I went to bed. And alcohol gave me the illusion of doing that.
If you feel like it's starting to cause you some problems, I would suggest doing what Carol said too - keep alcohol out of the house firstly. Try doing something else to relax yourself or keep busy in the afternoons during that difficult period that you want to destress with the alcohol. And remember, alcohol appears to be a relaxer, but it's really a stimulant in the long run, so it doesn't help us to relax as much as you would think.
You will find lots of info on these boards to help, and keeping a journal or posting on these boards, keeping in contact with others who share the same problem is a great help as well.
Best wishes - and keep posting!
PG
That was were my drinking all started, wanting to unwind after work. Perhaps you have a very stressful job like I did! There just always seemed to be something in me that wanted to chill out as much as possible after work before I went to bed. And alcohol gave me the illusion of doing that.
If you feel like it's starting to cause you some problems, I would suggest doing what Carol said too - keep alcohol out of the house firstly. Try doing something else to relax yourself or keep busy in the afternoons during that difficult period that you want to destress with the alcohol. And remember, alcohol appears to be a relaxer, but it's really a stimulant in the long run, so it doesn't help us to relax as much as you would think.
You will find lots of info on these boards to help, and keeping a journal or posting on these boards, keeping in contact with others who share the same problem is a great help as well.
Best wishes - and keep posting!
PG
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Years of drinking took a heavy toll on my body and mind.
After twenty years of drinking my body had developed a dependency on alcohol and I was stuck in patterns of behaviour and thinking which was very difficult to change.
Although I realized my drinking was out of control and destructive the thought of changing was somehow very scary for me.
Drinking had taken such a hold of my life that I was afraid of letting it go. I could not imagine living my life without alcohol.
AA was able to help me to see that it was possible to live without picking up a drink.
Associationg myself with people who had found a way to stop drinking also gave me the courage and support I needed to want to change my own life.
It is possible for people with even the most chronic case of alcoholism to change but it first has to start with a thought.
The thought that we can no longer continue to live the way we have been living.
After twenty years of drinking my body had developed a dependency on alcohol and I was stuck in patterns of behaviour and thinking which was very difficult to change.
Although I realized my drinking was out of control and destructive the thought of changing was somehow very scary for me.
Drinking had taken such a hold of my life that I was afraid of letting it go. I could not imagine living my life without alcohol.
AA was able to help me to see that it was possible to live without picking up a drink.
Associationg myself with people who had found a way to stop drinking also gave me the courage and support I needed to want to change my own life.
It is possible for people with even the most chronic case of alcoholism to change but it first has to start with a thought.
The thought that we can no longer continue to live the way we have been living.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Holy:
I am sorry for your pain but I know what you are going through. No matter how much I promised myself I wasn't gonna drink, I'd always fail. I hated coming home gearing up and passing out the majority of the week. Yet I stayed on that ride for 20 + years.
As Peter mentioned those bad habits are hard to break. I had a real hard time sitting at my dining room table (my drinking spot) and grabing for a beer that was not there, this horrified me. It became so engrained in me this was my behavior, grabing the beer lighting up a ciggerette for 4 hours straight everyother night. It's horrible I know.
Like Carol mentioned maybe you could try a meeting instead. This has helped me tremendously break my habit of heading for "my bubble" (as my husband called it) and starting to live sober. Keep trying, you can do it, Lord knows if there is hope for me there certainly is for you too!
I am sorry for your pain but I know what you are going through. No matter how much I promised myself I wasn't gonna drink, I'd always fail. I hated coming home gearing up and passing out the majority of the week. Yet I stayed on that ride for 20 + years.
As Peter mentioned those bad habits are hard to break. I had a real hard time sitting at my dining room table (my drinking spot) and grabing for a beer that was not there, this horrified me. It became so engrained in me this was my behavior, grabing the beer lighting up a ciggerette for 4 hours straight everyother night. It's horrible I know.
Like Carol mentioned maybe you could try a meeting instead. This has helped me tremendously break my habit of heading for "my bubble" (as my husband called it) and starting to live sober. Keep trying, you can do it, Lord knows if there is hope for me there certainly is for you too!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi Holyspirit....I'm sorry you are so sad....but see that everyone always gives such good advice here, stick with the gang here, we will help you get through this, and see how much hope there is here, so many success stories.
Oh one more thing, you said when you get home you sit in your recliner, toss that recliner as fast as you can.....well hec why not..a good way to start.
I'm fully aware of the hating yourself thing in the morning too. I would wake up and say OH NO NOT AGAIN...what's wrong with you, why do you keep doing this to yourself? So see you're not alone Holyspirit., we just have to work hard on getting this demon out of us, show it who the stronger one is, show it just how much we HATE it.
Take good care Holyspirit....hang out with us.
Luv and hugs,,,,Just Me....Denise
Hang in there and keep coming back here
Oh one more thing, you said when you get home you sit in your recliner, toss that recliner as fast as you can.....well hec why not..a good way to start.
I'm fully aware of the hating yourself thing in the morning too. I would wake up and say OH NO NOT AGAIN...what's wrong with you, why do you keep doing this to yourself? So see you're not alone Holyspirit., we just have to work hard on getting this demon out of us, show it who the stronger one is, show it just how much we HATE it.
Take good care Holyspirit....hang out with us.
Luv and hugs,,,,Just Me....Denise
Hang in there and keep coming back here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
Hi Holyspirit and welcome here,
Now that I have days that are not consumed by alcohol and thoughts of drinking, it seems impossible that I could ever have been so obsessed. And I was obsessed. I put my job at risk by disappearing every day midday for a couple of hours, and leaving early to get to the bar for another 3 hours.
In my first few days of trying not to drink, getting through the afternoon was excruciating. I truly did it minute to minute. Thankfully, when you get a week or so into the new routine of not drinking, it is not so bad. I actually now get through the day (as I used to for so many years) with only the most fleeting of thoughts. But man, is that craving powerful!
Almost anything that you can plan to do that you look forward to in the evening will be a help.
I hope you will find the help you need here; goodness knows we are all here for that reason.
Gianna
Now that I have days that are not consumed by alcohol and thoughts of drinking, it seems impossible that I could ever have been so obsessed. And I was obsessed. I put my job at risk by disappearing every day midday for a couple of hours, and leaving early to get to the bar for another 3 hours.
In my first few days of trying not to drink, getting through the afternoon was excruciating. I truly did it minute to minute. Thankfully, when you get a week or so into the new routine of not drinking, it is not so bad. I actually now get through the day (as I used to for so many years) with only the most fleeting of thoughts. But man, is that craving powerful!
Almost anything that you can plan to do that you look forward to in the evening will be a help.
I hope you will find the help you need here; goodness knows we are all here for that reason.
Gianna
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi and welcome,
I didn't know I choices until I came to AA. I thought I had to drink because it just seemed like it was time to drink...all the time. Thing is, in order for me not to drink I had to make some changes. Like Carol said, I had to stop doing what I always did because I kept getting what I always got. That's my suggestion to you is to make some changes. You can do it! Unless that is if you don't really want to do it. If you find you can't make changes without help, then maybe it's time to get help. Track down some people who know how to make changes and follow their lead.
Worked for me....
I didn't know I choices until I came to AA. I thought I had to drink because it just seemed like it was time to drink...all the time. Thing is, in order for me not to drink I had to make some changes. Like Carol said, I had to stop doing what I always did because I kept getting what I always got. That's my suggestion to you is to make some changes. You can do it! Unless that is if you don't really want to do it. If you find you can't make changes without help, then maybe it's time to get help. Track down some people who know how to make changes and follow their lead.
Worked for me....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Hi Holy,
I had to stop looking for a rational answer to why I drank, because there was nothing rational about my drinking or about the disease of alcoholism.
I had to begin to take action....and stop "thinking", because it was my best "thinking" that got me here.
One of things that I learned was a very basic truth about myself and my alcoholism. There were many many excuses that I used to pick up that first drink......... but only one honest reason, and that reason is because I am an alcoholic.
Holy.... I would suggest getting to an AA meeting, sit and listen...identify and do not compare. Let someone know that you are new, and ask them that question in person, at an AA meeting.
Get some phone numbers and call them. Then don't drink, and just keep coming no matter what.
Another simple and basic truth that I learned when I heard Clancy I. speaking at an AA conference was this:
"The difference between those who are in the halls of AA and staying sober.......and those who continued to drink is this:
"Those who continued to drink ..... simply decline to take actions that they do not agree with."
Take the actions Holy, get up, put your coat on, and get to an AA meeting........where the halls are full of recovering people who once had that same question that you do right now and they are sober, happy and free.... they have been given the solution....and these wonderful AA members who are working it.... will happily and freely pass it on to you
Love
Patsy
I had to stop looking for a rational answer to why I drank, because there was nothing rational about my drinking or about the disease of alcoholism.
I had to begin to take action....and stop "thinking", because it was my best "thinking" that got me here.
One of things that I learned was a very basic truth about myself and my alcoholism. There were many many excuses that I used to pick up that first drink......... but only one honest reason, and that reason is because I am an alcoholic.
Holy.... I would suggest getting to an AA meeting, sit and listen...identify and do not compare. Let someone know that you are new, and ask them that question in person, at an AA meeting.
Get some phone numbers and call them. Then don't drink, and just keep coming no matter what.
Another simple and basic truth that I learned when I heard Clancy I. speaking at an AA conference was this:
"The difference between those who are in the halls of AA and staying sober.......and those who continued to drink is this:
"Those who continued to drink ..... simply decline to take actions that they do not agree with."
Take the actions Holy, get up, put your coat on, and get to an AA meeting........where the halls are full of recovering people who once had that same question that you do right now and they are sober, happy and free.... they have been given the solution....and these wonderful AA members who are working it.... will happily and freely pass it on to you
Love
Patsy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
Sometimes in our addictions We really want to quit we think but if we did we would. There is something inside you that is keeping you drinking. My suggestion change your routine. Go for a walk after work or to a meeting. Go anywhere you know there will not be alcohol sometimes changing our schedule helps for me I had to change location, people places and behaviors. It was not easy I am not comfortable with change but it was that or die using. I would give the change of schedule a try. If all else fails try a program. I know its hard to leave a job and admit you need help but sometimes that is just what we need. To actually be locked away from the booze..
I wish the best for you and your recovery.
I wish the best for you and your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Charleston S.C.
Posts: 1,461
Hi Holy, Welcome to the boards. You can stop you just have not
found the way yet. As Walt Disney said, " The greatest journey
begins with the first step. " You have taken that first step by opening up to the fact there is a problem. Choosing the path
of that step can be difficult. There are different recovery methods
that can walk with you, however, you need to embrace them.
I can only suggest what helped me. I went to the VA and did a detox/program. They helpped me get to a point that I could set up a program for myself. Finding out what I needed required
proffessional people. You can try but, you don't need to fight
this battle unarmed and alone. We are here to help with support
and encouragement. Don w
found the way yet. As Walt Disney said, " The greatest journey
begins with the first step. " You have taken that first step by opening up to the fact there is a problem. Choosing the path
of that step can be difficult. There are different recovery methods
that can walk with you, however, you need to embrace them.
I can only suggest what helped me. I went to the VA and did a detox/program. They helpped me get to a point that I could set up a program for myself. Finding out what I needed required
proffessional people. You can try but, you don't need to fight
this battle unarmed and alone. We are here to help with support
and encouragement. Don w
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
Thanks for replying back and hope and pray you will find your way. All you have to do is get through the day. I forgot something else that might help. Out patient programs are great to. You can continue to work but must go everyday to a program that helps you learn how to stay stopped. Just another suggestion. Hope all is well . Keep me posted. I am here if you need to talk, Yell, vent ect. So don't give it a second thought
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Florham Park, nj
Posts: 85
One statement that turned me around is this:
..."The definition of Insanity is repeating the same actions over and over and expecting a different outcome..."?
Holy, time for a change. It is not the recliner or the time of day that makes you drink it is YOU. Disassociate yourself with the routine and start doing other things. Each day will seem like hell but you will wake up refreshed and stronger. TRUST GOD...don't give in...IT DOES GET BETTER and before long you will laugh at the thought of the end of day recliner scenario.
I used to have the same problem with end of day. I have since resigned to no alcholhol in the home and have filled my evenings with other things...dinner, games with my daughter, homework, preparing for next eve...then I am so tired can't wait to get to bed. There have been a few nights I feel this is so hard..but then you forget your issue cuz you are so busy. It does get better.
..."The definition of Insanity is repeating the same actions over and over and expecting a different outcome..."?
Holy, time for a change. It is not the recliner or the time of day that makes you drink it is YOU. Disassociate yourself with the routine and start doing other things. Each day will seem like hell but you will wake up refreshed and stronger. TRUST GOD...don't give in...IT DOES GET BETTER and before long you will laugh at the thought of the end of day recliner scenario.
I used to have the same problem with end of day. I have since resigned to no alcholhol in the home and have filled my evenings with other things...dinner, games with my daughter, homework, preparing for next eve...then I am so tired can't wait to get to bed. There have been a few nights I feel this is so hard..but then you forget your issue cuz you are so busy. It does get better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
