How to Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 89
How to Help
I work with a young woman in her thirties who has confided in me that she thinks she has a drinking problem. She says when she starts drinking she can't quit. She has told me that she has passed out with a drink in her hands. She recently said that when she stops drinking she has tremors. Most recently at work she has been unbelievably angry over things that wouldn't cause most people undue concern.
Is the anger a result of the drinking? It has been directed at me and I want to be understanding. I have never heard of this being a symptom of drinking. Is it?
My daughter has had problems with drug abuse and I have spoken to her about it. This opened up the door for her to talk about her drinking. A few months ago she was wondering if she had a drinking problem. I said if you have to ask yourself that question, most likely you do. She said she would try to cut down and limit her drinking only on the weekend. She said she doesn't want to stop because she isn't convinced she is hurting herself physically.
I would like to help her. What is the best way? Listen to her when she talks? Answer her questions like I did? Her anger is especially difficult to deal with as she is angry with everyone and everything. I would hate to see her lose her job over this but management saw her most recent tantrum and door slamming.
I would appreciate any advice I can get. She has always been my friend, I have worked with her for 4 years and her personality has changed so much recently.
Is the anger a result of the drinking? It has been directed at me and I want to be understanding. I have never heard of this being a symptom of drinking. Is it?
My daughter has had problems with drug abuse and I have spoken to her about it. This opened up the door for her to talk about her drinking. A few months ago she was wondering if she had a drinking problem. I said if you have to ask yourself that question, most likely you do. She said she would try to cut down and limit her drinking only on the weekend. She said she doesn't want to stop because she isn't convinced she is hurting herself physically.
I would like to help her. What is the best way? Listen to her when she talks? Answer her questions like I did? Her anger is especially difficult to deal with as she is angry with everyone and everything. I would hate to see her lose her job over this but management saw her most recent tantrum and door slamming.
I would appreciate any advice I can get. She has always been my friend, I have worked with her for 4 years and her personality has changed so much recently.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 89
I am afraid that she is going to lose her job. Her anger is really misplaced. She constantly talks about having no friends and I wonder if it is because her temper has become so bad. So the best thing to do is nothing? She should suffer the consequences of her disease and if that means alienating her friends, her co-workers, boss, etc., she needs to realize the consequences of her drinking? Her attitude has become so bad that people in neighboring offices, who have little to do with our company have approached me and asked what is wrong with her. They usually ask because she is so obviously angry.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
You could give her the number of your local AA helpline..
You could give her imformation of local AA meetings..
You could give her the address to this site..
unfortunately you cant give her the desire to stop...
Thankyou for taking the time to ask and being concerned about a co-worker.
thats a very caring thing to do.
You could give her imformation of local AA meetings..
You could give her the address to this site..
unfortunately you cant give her the desire to stop...
Thankyou for taking the time to ask and being concerned about a co-worker.
thats a very caring thing to do.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Ditto on what everyone already said. You already said that she's not ready to quit drinking, so unfortunately she'll just have to come to that conclusion, if she ever does.. on her own.
Take care of you, and maybe establish some boundaries around what YOU will or will not accept in a friendship with someone with some serious anger/temper problems.
Take care of you, and maybe establish some boundaries around what YOU will or will not accept in a friendship with someone with some serious anger/temper problems.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 89
I am actually trying to distance myself from her at work but I feel so badly about it. Her attitude is so negative and everyone is reponsible for her drinking. She is always right and always a victim. I think I smelled alchohol on her the other day. I am afraid that I will get into trouble at work because I listen to her complain about her boss and others in the office. I am afraid I will get into trouble by association. I don't know how to effectively distance myself though.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Marlie -
It takes... what it takes.
If the situation with your daughter continues;
I hope you'll check out our Friends & Family forum.
There's a wealth of experience over there,
and I anticipate you're going to ned their kind of support in the future.
As for your coworker-
maybe The Infinite has places this woman in your way
so you can see first hand
what might be the future with your daughter?
It takes... what it takes.
If the situation with your daughter continues;
I hope you'll check out our Friends & Family forum.
There's a wealth of experience over there,
and I anticipate you're going to ned their kind of support in the future.
As for your coworker-
maybe The Infinite has places this woman in your way
so you can see first hand
what might be the future with your daughter?
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