penny74

For a brief moment l thought what it would be like to watch old movies on TV and have a sixpack (or 2) this weekend.
Get the feeling l used to have "relaxation, no worry's and at peace with the world "
Then l remembered the last 6 pack l had was the begining of 2 months horror and cost me my job and almost my life.
So l will go for a long walk instead.
But funny(and stupid) how l now look back and think "Oh.. it wasn't all that bad"

'You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice'

FBL

Penny, I know the feeling. Weekends were always my big downfall. I'd think nothing of parking myself on the couch in front of the tube and downing at least a case of beer every Saturday and Sunday for years. I finally decided to change my life in June of this year. For the first couple of months that little voice kept telling me it was all right if I went back to that comfort zone. I kept ignoring that little voice (which I now realize was just my addicted brain talking) and now, nearly 5 months later, that voice is totally silent and I now look foward to facing the weekends out and about, interacting with life again.

mikefreak

I hear ya, Penny. Around three weeks ago I had gotten off work on a friday afternoon. The October sun was shining brightly, there was a cool breeze blowing, and I thought " boy, this would be a great time for a beer!" This was after nearly a year sober! I guess Friday afternoons STILL trigger the joyful ( and idiotic!) anticipation of having a blotto weekend growing near.
Good that you had the good sense to fight the feeling- tough I still get them from time to time, they're a LOT easier to resist. Hang in there!

BunnyLaRoo

Penny - am so with you on this. I am glad you went for your walk. I am really happy to find other people struggle but find the right direction. Yay you!

CarolD

The best thing is....you made a positive decision
Good for you....

NeverLookinBack

penny74,

I tried to have weekends just like the ones you are describing. I begin to think the weekend will be so relaxing and fun with some beer. So I go out and get a six pack, then after that's gone, I get another 6, and another, until I blackout. Then, my whole weekend and part of the rest of the week is ruined, and whatever sobriety I had up until that point is gone, not to mention I feel like total crap.
So, when I start to think how good it will feel to have one or two 6 packs on the weekend now, I try to think about how many times I actually accomplished that feat, which is very few times. Then, I think back to waking up at 5 am with a pounding headache, sweats, shakes, and panic attacks the following day. After retrospection, I realize that I am much happier now with a cup of tea and a good book.

Pboy

Agreed!

But even after the worse hangover in the world 2 days later I'd say ... it wasn't so bad

TheSunAlsoRises

Yeah I have found myself fantasizing about those sorts of things. I realize today that that is all they are--fantasy. They bear no resemblance to reality... the reality quickly becomes a nightmare... Good on ya for that walk...

Clayton

sweetnovember

you forget the pain

grace1

good post

thirtybubba

Yeah, you forget the pain. I've been wondering if I should write this down... and worse, I'm wondering if I'll leave enough of a mark on this here closed little community to where I don't *have* to write it down... I can be fairly, um, memorable, I suppose...

Oh, boy, y'all...

watsonc

I never realized plain old walking could be so therapetic..or that physcial movement could divert nagging feelings of "need" for a drink. End-of-work-week syndrome - I'm only at Day 30, so haveonly had a few, but they can be torture for about 2 hours as I make my way home and get dinner together. once I've eaten, I'm usually sane again. I wake up in the night relieved that I didn't succumb! Anybody else get dreams where they start drinking??

penny74

Almost every night l dream that l am drinking.
Go's to show how the sub conscious is still busy working things out..

brigid

I have come to realise that throughout my life i am going to have these types of thoughts. I watch my thinking and pick them out and deal with these thoughts.

Sometimes i tell myself that there might be a point in the future .. like when the kids turn a certain age .. cause by then it will be ok ... helps the thoughts subside and leave me. Other times i just recognise and then tell myself to think about something else .. like what is on the walk ...

Yay .. good thing to do .. go for a lovely walk ..

LIFE ... get into it not out of it .. awesome stuff