a bit frustrated..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: TX
Posts: 10
a bit frustrated..
Ive been clean and sober for about a year and a half. I go to AA almost every day and have worked the steps. Im 21 years old.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum.....
You are making progress that's really a good thing.
I was a lot older than you are but I too was single
and wanted new sober friends to hang out with.
I got sober in D.C. where there are many meetings.
I kept "Meeting Shopping" and found a group of
mostly singles. I gotta say tho....no one was as young
as you ..that might be more difficult.
I'm wondering if your college might have information?
Thanks for joining us....all my best
You are making progress that's really a good thing.
I was a lot older than you are but I too was single
and wanted new sober friends to hang out with.
I got sober in D.C. where there are many meetings.
I kept "Meeting Shopping" and found a group of mostly singles. I gotta say tho....no one was as young
as you ..that might be more difficult.
I'm wondering if your college might have information?
Thanks for joining us....all my best
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by pickles1 
Ive been clean and sober for about a year and a half. I go to AA almost every day and have worked the steps. Im 21 years old.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
If you are interested in contacting them PM me or respond on this thread and I will see what I can do with getting you in contact with a local regional rep who will know if yall have anything like that in your neck of the woods.
they ..... umm....fun.....and sober, and they work strong programs, I was just looking at MCYPAA's* Halloween party photo's on Facebook when I was informed you were here.
*MCYPAA: Marin County Young People of Alcoholics Anonymous
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by pickles1
That young adults group sounds like a good idea Ago. I'm in the Dallas area and id be interested in finding something like that.
check your PM's
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Laramie, WY
Posts: 85
I understand your frustration. I'm 24 and being sober this young sucks. Anyone I meet who is my age, drinks. It's no problem making friends with people my age as I live in a college town, but I don't want to be tempted to drink again. I'm sorry it sucks for you. I hope you are able to meet some sober people your age! (And let me know how you did it haha)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by pickles1
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
What really blows, is not figuring it out until you hit 50.
Terrible if you look back 10 years from now and say "If only".
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Indian Wells, CA
Posts: 24
I know what the OP means. I have never been a social individual, so the advice "get involved" would be ultimately useless. Personally, I don't know what would work at this point. Right now I need some type of alcohol to get me through the night.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Here's another way to look at it: when a young person makes it into the rooms, you'll be there to say, "Yes, you can be young and sober."
Another thing to consider: are their any middle-aged folks with a couple of decades of sobriety? I sat with three guys my age talking with a young man who was just getting sober. All three of these guys had more than 20 years of continuous sobriety and were sharing with this young man what it was like to get sober between twenty and twenty-five. It was pretty powerful stuff. If you don't have anyone in your home group like this, maybe you can hit some speaker meetings and find someone to share with you.
I was very ageist when I first came in. I was glad I hadn't discovered my sponsor was younger than me until my step work was well under way. But as time has passed, the ages of my friends in recovery matter less and less. I'm 41, and I have friends your age and many several decades older than me, too.
Hang in there, keep an open mind, and try not to let the age thing be the defining factor in your relationships.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Another thing to consider: are their any middle-aged folks with a couple of decades of sobriety? I sat with three guys my age talking with a young man who was just getting sober. All three of these guys had more than 20 years of continuous sobriety and were sharing with this young man what it was like to get sober between twenty and twenty-five. It was pretty powerful stuff. If you don't have anyone in your home group like this, maybe you can hit some speaker meetings and find someone to share with you.
I was very ageist when I first came in. I was glad I hadn't discovered my sponsor was younger than me until my step work was well under way. But as time has passed, the ages of my friends in recovery matter less and less. I'm 41, and I have friends your age and many several decades older than me, too.
Hang in there, keep an open mind, and try not to let the age thing be the defining factor in your relationships.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
Hey man, I wish I was still living in waco I would hit you up... but I moved out to singapore to get sober... It is a bit challenging to find people our age (21) who are sober. I don't really know what to do about it either... I just try to remember I'm doing to right thing. Congrats on your time, I just got about 5 months...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.[/QUOTE]
You cracked me up with this part, lol.
I can assure you, being a 50 year old drunk with few friends and 4 days without a drink blows a lot more, lol.
You cracked me up with this part, lol.
I can assure you, being a 50 year old drunk with few friends and 4 days without a drink blows a lot more, lol.
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Originally Posted by pickles1
Ive been clean and sober for about a year and a half. I go to AA almost every day and have worked the steps. Im 21 years old.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
I think you are in a better position!
Keep it going!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 159
Hi Pickles,
I'm from Dallas - wish I was there to meet up I looked around on the Dallas AA website, and there seem to be some young persons meetings, abbreviated YP on the site. I don't know what part of Dallas you are in, but maybe this one would work for you.
Dallas Intergroup Association - Group Directory
I'm not so young, kind of stradling the end of youngness, but I understand how intimidating it can be and also you need people your age who understand you as well. Hope you meet some good people.
I'm from Dallas - wish I was there to meet up
I looked around on the Dallas AA website, and there seem to be some young persons meetings, abbreviated YP on the site. I don't know what part of Dallas you are in, but maybe this one would work for you.Dallas Intergroup Association - Group Directory
I'm not so young, kind of stradling the end of youngness, but I understand how intimidating it can be and also you need people your age who understand you as well. Hope you meet some good people.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by pickles1
Ive been clean and sober for about a year and a half. I go to AA almost every day and have worked the steps. Im 21 years old.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
My dilemma is that i have no friends my age at all. Im not posting here to complain; rather im trying to figure out what im doing wrong. Here are some of the cookie cutter answers i keep getting about this: "get involved"(i do volunteer work, service work..i dont even see peolpe who are my age when i do this stuff ), " make friends in AA"(i have a couple but they are much older than I am, of all the dozens of different meetings ive gone to i have yet to see anyone my age in recovery), "you really gotta put yourself out there, take up some hobbies!" ( ive been to 8 churches..no college aged people there..tried co-ed sports, yoga, barnes and noble, i take weekend classes at community college, drum circle, chess club, golf, to name a few.), "give it time, you have to be patient"( been trying to make sober friends for a year and a half now)
I'm usually a really positive and nice guy, but this is getting very old..being young and sober blows.
The name of the meeting was even called Campus. Hope this helps!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Oh, and Pickles...I suggest you "friend" those people and ask for other YPAA's to friend, those 5 names I sent have probably 50 years between them easily, they travel to the conferences and are incredibly active and IMO will/could be an incredibly valuable resource for you for many reasons, among them navigating sobriety at a young age, most of them got sober in their teens, I have seen a few of them around for 10-15 years
You can go to them for stuff that maybe other people who got sober later won't have experience with
You can go to them for stuff that maybe other people who got sober later won't have experience with
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