ZeroNowhere

So, that wedding I was in..we got to ride around in a limo. Granted there was water and I grabbed one. Next thing I knew though was bottle after bottle was put into my face. So early in sobriety, it was TOO much. I drank my ass off, and had to leave the reception early from throwing up. You see why this was a problem for me? UGH!

I'm disappointed, but what's done is done. I've hurt my back and the doctor put me on 2 weeks of morphine until surgery on my back. It gave out and I can't deal with the pain. My husband doles it out.

I've began to take the antidepressant with my Effexor, Abilify. I do believe I like it very much.

Once the pain isn't acute, I'll stop the morphine. Do I have to be off that for AA? I'm gonna hit an AA meeting asap, afternoon tomorrow if I can find one.

That's where I've been. Fx&$in up

Dee74

Welcome back ZN

D

ZeroNowhere

I just can't believe how out of control I was. I think my hubby tried slowing me down but someone was challenging me. It's like my brain, the half of the addict totally won and said, it's an occassion, just have a sip.

And I know where a damn sip leads to, nothing good at all. Above all, I'm an alcoholic. Coming from at least 3 generations of drunks except for one great grandmother.

Thanks for the welcome once again, guess I better change my sober date. I'm going by alcohol right now since I've got an idea that's the one I cannot control at all. The others I'm fine with whatever hubs gives me. But if he tried giving me one shot, I'd be pissed. Poor guy. I'm looking in the paper now for an AA meeting ASAP this week.

Thanks again xo

Richard54

I know all about the 'control' thing.

I'm fine with nothing,,,

As soon as I have a sip,..just even a sip,....all hell breaks loose.

All we can do is get back on board.
Welcome back.

stone

If you are on morphine for a legitimite reason then I wouldn't worry about it as far as AA goes. Be careful though.

You are right, the slip is done, time to move forward, no point beating yourself up. You are not a bad person, just a person with a problem.

Wolfchild

welcome back

NoMoBeer

Welcome back. Remember, "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."

Just be careful with the pain drugs. Being a back pain sufferer as well (blown discs in C spine and L/S spine), I understand... but be CAREFUL.

Also, stay off the wagon and get into recovery. You will always fall off a wagon, but recovery can be a daily blessing in your life.

Get to meetings. (and get phone numbers of women you can call when you want to drink -- pick up the phone instead of the bottle).

Get a sponsor.

Get to WORK on recovery...

You can do this.

NMB

ZeroNowhere

Yeah, I'm great without any..way better. And I figured,St ok, one sip of champagne cos it's my brother's wedding and everyone stared at me so I sipped. It was like high school with the pressure. However, I must MUST understand that I am the ONLY one with control over ME. Nobody else. I own all the blame, for it. I'm still so embarrassed to even talk to my new sister in law, or my in-laws. My MIL did understand and took care of me every half hour till Brad was told we could go. I haven't apologized for that yet, so I'll need to do that today, no more putting that off.


By the way, Stone, yeah, the morphine is legit. I have a herniated disk (in one of the L's 3 or 4 I think), arthritis terrible, and scoliosis to the point where I'm using yoga to straighten back up. but it's gotten way worse, like bedridden worse. I don't see any reason to make myself suffer, when I have someone to help me. If I lived alone no way in hell would I take a script! lol

The pain I was in at the doctors office there was no way he was giving me less, or he just wouldn't write anything. He wrote the second highest dose and I take 1 or 2 a day and it helps SO much. I did consider the possibility of losing control with the pills, again, and figured my hubby will take care of them, he always does. As long as I don't have the pills on hand then I don't really think about them anymore. My husband is very responsible about following the label. And it's only for a few weeks (I hope so), cos I should be getting my MRI in a couple weeks. Then possibly surgery (um after deer season mr doctor!)

I'm really liking the Abilify so far. I know it's early, a week, but I swear I feel way better since taking it. I've gone out and done things, I'm usually pretty agoraphobic and tend to hang on the computer too much.

They have an AA meeting tomorrow next town over, so I'll be there. My husband doesn't sound too happy about me going to meetings at all I hope he comes 'round

CarolD

Many of us had false starts before we found solid sobriety.

Good to see you here again

ZeroNowhere

This is what my other sober friends are telling me. My sober friends once had a problem, but are in recovery. As long as my friend drops their problem, I wont dump a friend or crap like that.

Anyway, yeah, they said the same thing, and for once I believed it. For once I was positive instead of Eeyore of the Internet. As much as alcohol ruled my dad's life, I don't want that, at all. I don't want my kids hugging me and smelling beer and end up LIKING the smell because it's like Dad/mom smelled.

I like that, false starts! Thank you. I suck at posting every single day. I'm playing YoVille, and that game has me by the purse!

caleb76

Congrats on getting back on your feet. I love AA, I have only been in AA for a few months but it rocks! AA isn't perfect but it will keep you sober if you work the program. Try to make some friends with the ladies at the meetings too.

As far as the antidepressant goes, I think you usually need to take those for several weeks before they go into effect. I am on fluoxetine, it works wonders for me. I have to say that I didn't like it at first but I gave it time. Then when it finally kicked in I felt so much better.

Keeping myself feeling OK using fluoxetine, and living the AA program are two key features that help me maintain my sobriety.

My new life rocks!

ZeroNowhere

I'm hoping to meet some new friends there. A lot of my friends love the bars, and I need to stay out of them right now, so it'd be nice to have a buddy to hang out with when they're all out at the bars and stuff.

tomvlll

The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking.
People come to meetings in all kinds of bad shape.
Don't let that stop you.

OTOH. if you aren't ready to give it all up, AA is good for one thing-cheap coffee- and that's about it.

ZeroNowhere

I think I'll just sit quietly and listen, introduce myself. Since I've been clean from October 25, what kinda chip will I get. I'm all about not drinking and collecting chips. I'm going to get a lil cabinet for them and hang it up,so that way, I'll look at that and not want to drink again.

So, I'm totally ready to give it up. And yeah, I'll be after that coffee, I better bring my own creamers, I'm spoiled that way. Can you bring your own beverage, or is that off limits cos you could carry contraband in there?

caleb76

I bring an A&W Cream Soda to almost every meeting that I attend. Never heard of a meeting where you can't bring something to drink.

You should get a 24 hour chip. That is the first chip you get, then you receive a one month, 2 month, 3 month, six month, and one year.

Get in there and get that 24 hour chip!

ZeroNowhere

K I'll stop at Speedway and grab me a orange spice capp lol! When I was in anger management I had to have something in my hands. It took maybe 2 meetings and I spoke up. I always have something to say. I just don't want to speak too much being a noob and all.

joedris

There's no rule about going to AA meetings while you're on prescribed medication. Actually, there's no rule about going to an AA meeting if you're still drinking, either. As has been said, the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. So go and get a white chip. It'll be the most important one you ever pick up. Rather than a cabinet, I still carry my white chip with me after all these years. It's a little beat up now, but it serves as a reminder of where I was and where I never want to go back to. My Lorikeet plays with all the others. He's partial to yellow.

DesertKate

Insane.

It's one thing to deal with short term acute pain conditions by using heavy duty painkillers, and quite another to treat chronic pain the same way. It's amazing how in the presence of a committment to sobriety, a decision to NOT use drugs can lead to the disappearance of the source of the pain. Our alcoholic/addict brain has the remarkable ability to manufacture pain which requires and justifies the use of mind altering medication. And God/HP/our higher self has an equally remarkable ability to eradicate that pain when our desire to be sober is stronger than our desire to be high.

But do what you're gonna' do. You'll figure it out eventually, I hope.