People drinking in front of me
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Thank you SO MUCH for posting this. I saw myself 100% in your post, especially this part:
I read your post and it was like reading something written by my alter ego! Thank you so much for that reminder.
What an excellent observation you made about the difference at the end of the night. Good for you!
Originally Posted by LBW 
I would have pounded beers and thought everyone else was just as into drinking as me. I wouldn't have eaten all the food I spent the day preparing because I would be drinking. I would have continued drinking after everyone else stopped. I would have said stupid things I would later regret. My husband would tell me the next day how bad I was slurring. I would have continued drinking after everyone had left. I don't know how late I would have stayed up because I would eventually blackout. I would have eaten in this drunken state and got food everywhere, probably left food out that should have been in the fridge. I might have drunk emailed or something. I wouldn't have cleaned up after the party... it would have been a mess. I would have a terrible hangover the entire next day -- throwing up all day long. The mess would continue to get worse. My son would be ignored. I would hate myself.
What an excellent observation you made about the difference at the end of the night. Good for you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
Payton,
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
Originally Posted by LBW
Payton,
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Originally Posted by LBW
Payton,
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
Thanks! I'm thinking about printing that part out and keeping it in my wallet just in case I ever am somewhere and I see other people drinking and I start entertaining thoughts of "maybe I can handle drinking again..." or "maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic..."
I think I will print that part out and put it in my wallet too - that's how much it hit me!
I relate a lot to your story - I have never said to anyone in real life, out loud - "I think I am an alcoholic." I just told my husband that I'm afraid of my drinking and I think I'm developing a problem and need his help (he validated my concern and offered his support), but that's it. I also have many times told myself that I was not very bad and could control it. I have confided in this website and other friends online, which was a big step to me. Do you have a therapist or have you attended AA? I am waiting to get in to see a therapist and plan on telling them I need help with this.
Thanks again for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: eastern canada
Posts: 18
LBW, You seem to have so much self-awareness about your problem. It's really refreshing, and I think you'll find that you're in a much better head space to really recover than a lot of people are. I also see so much of myself in what you've written and I think it's amazing that you're able to express these revelations so eloquently. I also love hearing you describe how much you're figuring out just by engaging in these discussions here, it reminds me of my first couple of months attending AA meetings. I felt like I was having epiphanies all over the place. It was so wonderful to recognize that I wasn't alone and to have all of these experienced people offer their own insights on the same condition. I wish you the best of luck. You can totally do it!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 91
Eastcoaster,
Three years ago I was in miserable state. I had spent 5 years drinking uncontrollably after work nearly every day. I drank alone. I lived in shame and guilt. I can relate to alot of people's posts because of this period of my life. I had lost control and I felt hopeless.
How I actually ended that low period was by getting pregnant. I quit drinking cold turkey. After my son was born, I made many very positive changes in my life. I managed to keep my drinking to only 1 day a week. It was no solution though... I was still an alcoholic.
At this point here in my second pregnancy, I have finally had the epiphany that the only way to deal with this problem is not to ever drink again. The sobriety of pregnancy has given me a little more perspective, which is a BIG advantage. Limiting the drinking over the last 3 years is also an advantage. I think my mind is in a better place to think about all these things than it would have been if I had tried to do this during the very active alcoholic phase of my life.
I just don't want to blow this opportunity. This is my big chance. Of all the things I have ever achieved in my life, this will be the most important. Alcoholism ruins lives and not just the person who drinks either. I have seen that first hand because of my father. My children deserve better than that. I deserve better.
Three years ago I was in miserable state. I had spent 5 years drinking uncontrollably after work nearly every day. I drank alone. I lived in shame and guilt. I can relate to alot of people's posts because of this period of my life. I had lost control and I felt hopeless.
How I actually ended that low period was by getting pregnant. I quit drinking cold turkey. After my son was born, I made many very positive changes in my life. I managed to keep my drinking to only 1 day a week. It was no solution though... I was still an alcoholic.
At this point here in my second pregnancy, I have finally had the epiphany that the only way to deal with this problem is not to ever drink again. The sobriety of pregnancy has given me a little more perspective, which is a BIG advantage. Limiting the drinking over the last 3 years is also an advantage. I think my mind is in a better place to think about all these things than it would have been if I had tried to do this during the very active alcoholic phase of my life.
I just don't want to blow this opportunity. This is my big chance. Of all the things I have ever achieved in my life, this will be the most important. Alcoholism ruins lives and not just the person who drinks either. I have seen that first hand because of my father. My children deserve better than that. I deserve better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
Originally Posted by LBW
I would have pounded beers and thought everyone else was just as into drinking as me. I wouldn't have eaten all the food I spent the day preparing because I would be drinking. I would have continued drinking after everyone else stopped. I would have said stupid things I would later regret. My husband would tell me the next day how bad I was slurring. I would have continued drinking after everyone had left. I don't know how late I would have stayed up because I would eventually blackout. I would have eaten in this drunken state and got food everywhere, probably left food out that should have been in the fridge. I might have drunk emailed or something. I wouldn't have cleaned up after the party... it would have been a mess. I would have a terrible hangover the entire next day -- throwing up all day long. The mess would continue to get worse. My son would be ignored. I would hate myself
I would have pounded beers and thought everyone else was just as into drinking as me. I wouldn't have eaten all the food I spent the day preparing because I would be drinking. I would have continued drinking after everyone else stopped. I would have said stupid things I would later regret. My husband would tell me the next day how bad I was slurring. I would have continued drinking after everyone had left. I don't know how late I would have stayed up because I would eventually blackout. I would have eaten in this drunken state and got food everywhere, probably left food out that should have been in the fridge. I might have drunk emailed or something. I wouldn't have cleaned up after the party... it would have been a mess. I would have a terrible hangover the entire next day -- throwing up all day long. The mess would continue to get worse. My son would be ignored. I would hate myself
And recognizing that we're not really normal is a giant leap foward.
terrific posts! thank you :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Methuen, MA
Posts: 99
I didn't want to start a new thread so this one is about the closest topic for my comment.
This weekend I went to a wedding reception. Now, I haven't drank in roughly 3.5 months. I'm committed to never drinking again; I don't miss it; and, it doesn't bother me at all to be around alcohol or people who are drinking it. So, come time for the champagne toast and I recall reading someone's experience on this forum about taking a sip of a champagne toast which restarted years of drinking after over a decade of sobriety. Not that I was tempted or even considered drinking even a sip, but I just thought it was great to take something from this forum and remember it. Thank you soberrecovery.com! :-)
This weekend I went to a wedding reception. Now, I haven't drank in roughly 3.5 months. I'm committed to never drinking again; I don't miss it; and, it doesn't bother me at all to be around alcohol or people who are drinking it. So, come time for the champagne toast and I recall reading someone's experience on this forum about taking a sip of a champagne toast which restarted years of drinking after over a decade of sobriety. Not that I was tempted or even considered drinking even a sip, but I just thought it was great to take something from this forum and remember it. Thank you soberrecovery.com! :-)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
