Need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Need help
I don't necessarily drink every day, and don't suffer physical withdrawal symptoms but have for many years now more days than not drank daily more than the weekly recommended alcohol limits. I tend to drink strong lager but it is difficult to get drunk drinking lager any more.
My not being able to stop drinking has played a significant part in ending the one very important relationship I had in my life, and also played a significant part in ending a very good career I had in music. Perhaps a small part of why I have drunk were problems in that career and in that relationship, perhaps it was other stuff. I believe I take full responsibility for the things I have done. I have treated people around me awfully. I can become aggressive when drunk, and although I havent hit anybody or anything like that I have been pretty nasty mentally. I always black out and have no idea what I have done when drinking. I generally I treat people around me fine when I am sober.
I stopped working and have gone from living in a great flat in an extremely nice area in London to living in a flat in one of the lowest regarded cities in the country, in a flat with little to no heating or hot water, lots of mould, and rats running about under the floorboards.
I desperately want to stop drinking and called a local help agency. They told me I had to come in and fill in a questionnaire. I wanted to talk to someone about the problems I was having and couldn't face dealing with a questionnaire to establish how addicted I was so didn't go in. The whole notion of the higher power thing seems far to religious for me really. I accept the problems that I have but do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers. I do not see why I need to do that in order to overcome these problems.
Can people here help me? I am looking for support from a community that understands where I am.
My not being able to stop drinking has played a significant part in ending the one very important relationship I had in my life, and also played a significant part in ending a very good career I had in music. Perhaps a small part of why I have drunk were problems in that career and in that relationship, perhaps it was other stuff. I believe I take full responsibility for the things I have done. I have treated people around me awfully. I can become aggressive when drunk, and although I havent hit anybody or anything like that I have been pretty nasty mentally. I always black out and have no idea what I have done when drinking. I generally I treat people around me fine when I am sober.
I stopped working and have gone from living in a great flat in an extremely nice area in London to living in a flat in one of the lowest regarded cities in the country, in a flat with little to no heating or hot water, lots of mould, and rats running about under the floorboards.
I desperately want to stop drinking and called a local help agency. They told me I had to come in and fill in a questionnaire. I wanted to talk to someone about the problems I was having and couldn't face dealing with a questionnaire to establish how addicted I was so didn't go in. The whole notion of the higher power thing seems far to religious for me really. I accept the problems that I have but do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers. I do not see why I need to do that in order to overcome these problems.
Can people here help me? I am looking for support from a community that understands where I am.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
It’s helped me; all I can say is stay committed to stopping...
You said you "do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers", I agree but it sort of happened to me yesterday at a book store buying a recovery book, I needed help finding it so I asked where it was, next thing I knew a couple of people were looking for this book for me and all I kept thinking about is "do they know I have a problem?", I was embarrassed.
I felt horrible, the nice lady asked "how was my day going" and on my way out she said "I hope things get better for you" although I didn’t tell her I had any problem.
It actually made me feel better that she seemed to know, my problem is REAL and I need to deal with it.
I hope you find what you need here; it is a good source of information with some really good people...
Welcome to SR!
You said you "do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers", I agree but it sort of happened to me yesterday at a book store buying a recovery book, I needed help finding it so I asked where it was, next thing I knew a couple of people were looking for this book for me and all I kept thinking about is "do they know I have a problem?", I was embarrassed.
I felt horrible, the nice lady asked "how was my day going" and on my way out she said "I hope things get better for you" although I didn’t tell her I had any problem.
It actually made me feel better that she seemed to know, my problem is REAL and I need to deal with it.
I hope you find what you need here; it is a good source of information with some really good people...
Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by resultsOriented 
My not being able to stop drinking has played a significant part in ending the one very important relationship I had in my life, and also played a significant part in ending a very good career I had in music. Perhaps a small part of why I have drunk were problems in that career and in that relationship, perhaps it was other stuff.
I drank because I'm an alcoholic. I have all the same reasons-excuses-for drinking today that I did back then.
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please do take the time to read this information
it's from the recovery book SomethingBetter mentioned
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Here is an interesting lvideo for you to check out
There are resources there too.
Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....
it's from the recovery book SomethingBetter mentioned
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Here is an interesting lvideo for you to check out
There are resources there too.
Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
You mention "higher power" so must know something of AA. You don't have to do the "higher power" thing to go to AA. All thats desired for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
You say you don't want to tell your problems to strangers. But it's different when all the strangers have problems like ours(staying sober for one). And if you attend a few times, they aren't strangers anymore.
There really is more to it than not drinking. As the comedian Fergeson says. (i don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem).
I'm not trying to push AA (well maybe I am). But the fact is it doesn't cost anything but some of your time. And doing it by yourself ain't easy. It helps a bunch when other people are trying to do the same thing. Its like climbing a mountain. If you slip, maybe someone can grab you before you fall.
Fred
You say you don't want to tell your problems to strangers. But it's different when all the strangers have problems like ours(staying sober for one). And if you attend a few times, they aren't strangers anymore.
There really is more to it than not drinking. As the comedian Fergeson says. (i don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem).
I'm not trying to push AA (well maybe I am). But the fact is it doesn't cost anything but some of your time. And doing it by yourself ain't easy. It helps a bunch when other people are trying to do the same thing. Its like climbing a mountain. If you slip, maybe someone can grab you before you fall.
Fred
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by resultsOriented
I don't necessarily drink every day, and don't suffer physical withdrawal symptoms but have for many years now more days than not drank daily more than the weekly recommended alcohol limits. I tend to drink strong lager but it is difficult to get drunk drinking lager any more.
My not being able to stop drinking has played a significant part in ending the one very important relationship I had in my life, and also played a significant part in ending a very good career I had in music. Perhaps a small part of why I have drunk were problems in that career and in that relationship, perhaps it was other stuff. I believe I take full responsibility for the things I have done. I have treated people around me awfully. I can become aggressive when drunk, and although I havent hit anybody or anything like that I have been pretty nasty mentally. I always black out and have no idea what I have done when drinking. I generally I treat people around me fine when I am sober.
I stopped working and have gone from living in a great flat in an extremely nice area in London to living in a flat in one of the lowest regarded cities in the country, in a flat with little to no heating or hot water, lots of mould, and rats running about under the floorboards.
I desperately want to stop drinking and called a local help agency. They told me I had to come in and fill in a questionnaire. I wanted to talk to someone about the problems I was having and couldn't face dealing with a questionnaire to establish how addicted I was so didn't go in. The whole notion of the higher power thing seems far to religious for me really. I accept the problems that I have but do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers. I do not see why I need to do that in order to overcome these problems.
Can people here help me? I am looking for support from a community that understands where I am.
My not being able to stop drinking has played a significant part in ending the one very important relationship I had in my life, and also played a significant part in ending a very good career I had in music. Perhaps a small part of why I have drunk were problems in that career and in that relationship, perhaps it was other stuff. I believe I take full responsibility for the things I have done. I have treated people around me awfully. I can become aggressive when drunk, and although I havent hit anybody or anything like that I have been pretty nasty mentally. I always black out and have no idea what I have done when drinking. I generally I treat people around me fine when I am sober.
I stopped working and have gone from living in a great flat in an extremely nice area in London to living in a flat in one of the lowest regarded cities in the country, in a flat with little to no heating or hot water, lots of mould, and rats running about under the floorboards.
I desperately want to stop drinking and called a local help agency. They told me I had to come in and fill in a questionnaire. I wanted to talk to someone about the problems I was having and couldn't face dealing with a questionnaire to establish how addicted I was so didn't go in. The whole notion of the higher power thing seems far to religious for me really. I accept the problems that I have but do not feel the need or want to announce them to strangers. I do not see why I need to do that in order to overcome these problems.
Can people here help me? I am looking for support from a community that understands where I am.
Keep coming to these forums for help. I also recommend that you try AA for two or three months. See how you like it. Don't think to much about your higher power at first. Just into the group and listen to them. One more thing, there are tons of different AA groups. You could shop around and find the one that fits you best! If AA isn't for you then at least you gave it an open minded try.
You don't have to use AA to stop drinking. People stop drinking without AA. However, AA made it a lot easier for me!
Keep reading and thinking about how you would like to stop drinking. If you never entered this phase of thinking you would be destined to die drunk.
Come over to the light side my friend. I love it here.
Keep coming back!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Thanks for all these comments they mean a lot - I have read them all. In all honesty I am not even sure if I will be here tomorrow, right now I really hope I come back I need it.
Wolfchild I appreciate your post, in truth I don't know where I am. I am not fishing for more supportive posts with this one.
Wolfchild I appreciate your post, in truth I don't know where I am. I am not fishing for more supportive posts with this one.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
As I said on the other thread you shared on.....
AA is not the only way to quit drinking.
Here is a link with various recovery programs
for you to explore
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
If you stay around here...and I hope you will....your going
to meet members who use no formal program and are
enjoying a successful sobriety.....
We are all here to assist you....and wish only the best
for you A healthy sober future is possible for you too.
Yes! you too can win over alcohol.
AA is not the only way to quit drinking.
Here is a link with various recovery programs
for you to explore
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
If you stay around here...and I hope you will....your going
to meet members who use no formal program and are
enjoying a successful sobriety.....
We are all here to assist you....and wish only the best
for you A healthy sober future is possible for you too.
Yes! you too can win over alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome resultsoriented
I'm one of the members who did not use AA, or indeed any other programme.
In my experience, at base level, all you need is a sincere desire to stop drinking, and a genuine commitment to work hard and follow that through.
It's very hard to do that - you'll invariably find that stopping drinking is just the tip of the iceberg.
We're in effect changing ourselves and our lives - and that's why most people choose a face to face support group to help them through.
Recovery is hard - but it's entirely possible. I don't know anyone here who regrets making the change
Pls do check out the link Carol posted for you.
and welcome
I'm one of the members who did not use AA, or indeed any other programme.
In my experience, at base level, all you need is a sincere desire to stop drinking, and a genuine commitment to work hard and follow that through.
It's very hard to do that - you'll invariably find that stopping drinking is just the tip of the iceberg.
We're in effect changing ourselves and our lives - and that's why most people choose a face to face support group to help them through.
Recovery is hard - but it's entirely possible. I don't know anyone here who regrets making the change
Pls do check out the link Carol posted for you.
and welcome
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Hi Dee74 Will look at all the links properly - have had an initial quick look at them all - tomorrow. No point now about to fall asleep I suppose it is late...... Not looking at them thoroughly now doesnt mean I am genuine. (I know no one is saying otherwise....)
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
I too hope you come back. These forums have been an IMMENSE help to me and at times were the only method of support I had available. If you are tired of drinking, the best thing you can do is to surround yourself with people who are also tired of drinking. We don't all follow AA's program, or believe any one thing in particular, except that we are better off without alcohol. Come back tomorrow, and the day after... the support will be here and just maybe you will find your own way to sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Well I am back. read many of those links - I am in England so the Oz ones don't apply I don't think. Almost everything in the AA vid - other than the young age of the actors - applies to me, I recognise it all. This is the line on the AA's website I have difficulty with:
"We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did."
Any guilt I feel really is a result of stuff I have done drinking. I couldn't say I feel lonely. My life doesn't fit into the cozy wife/2.4 kids loving extended family existence but whose does? I really don't feel any guilt or loneliness I am very sure beyond where I have put myself through drinking. No one I suppose will convince me, I will look at AA and who knows... Thanks for all of your posts I appreciate it. I hope I find myself staying here and I manage to change how I am acting.
"We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did."
Any guilt I feel really is a result of stuff I have done drinking. I couldn't say I feel lonely. My life doesn't fit into the cozy wife/2.4 kids loving extended family existence but whose does? I really don't feel any guilt or loneliness I am very sure beyond where I have put myself through drinking. No one I suppose will convince me, I will look at AA and who knows... Thanks for all of your posts I appreciate it. I hope I find myself staying here and I manage to change how I am acting.
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