Please tell me if these are "red flags"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 105
Thanks, Something Better--your post made me cry--if only my husband could even see what he's doing...to me, to his great kids, to himself. Good for you for getting it and trying. The ripples of this disease reach so far. Friends of my kids call me crying when they hear my husband has left me.
It's a blessing, I guess, that he is leaving me, since I shudder to think what he would have had to do to make me leave. I just love him so much (or at least the man he was...mine is gone) and really did mean it when I pledged to stay "in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
But I can't make him stay and can only rediscover myself, as I have twisted myself into a pretzel over the years in an effort to please him, make him happy. Now I'm untwisting and it feels good, in fact, my daughter's counselor pointed out that when you untwist, you get taller. So my kids and I are working on getting taller...just wish he would join us.
Best of luck to you and your wife, Something Better. I will pray for both of you.
It's a blessing, I guess, that he is leaving me, since I shudder to think what he would have had to do to make me leave. I just love him so much (or at least the man he was...mine is gone) and really did mean it when I pledged to stay "in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
But I can't make him stay and can only rediscover myself, as I have twisted myself into a pretzel over the years in an effort to please him, make him happy. Now I'm untwisting and it feels good, in fact, my daughter's counselor pointed out that when you untwist, you get taller. So my kids and I are working on getting taller...just wish he would join us.
Best of luck to you and your wife, Something Better. I will pray for both of you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by NewChapter 
Goes against everything I promised when we took our vows...because he really is ill.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Originally Posted by SomethingBetter
I read this and it’s sad, my wife is angry at me right now, almost a week now; my binges are from 5 o’clock to 2 AM, maybe 3 nights in a row…12 to 18 beers, (Only after work, self employed, set my own hours, how convenient) then I might say to her that I am done because I really think I am, she believes me and that causes an issue, although there is no violence it causes a lot of stress between us. I almost thought my wife was you; I had to look at the join date…
I went to the moderation management site, sounds good, not working yet, at best I can limit the days I drink (well I can limit to a few but cant say which days), but the limit I drink is not manageable at all.
My anniversary (21 years) was October 25 2009 (yesterday, we didn’t even speak) , I am scum, I blame my sweet wife for our fights when its me that cant keep my promises, I am a functional alcoholic, too functional, I wonder if I ever will want to stop more that I want to drink!
I love my wife soooo much; thanks for making me see that; I wish the best for you and your family!
I went 14 days without a drink recently, 3 years ago I went 87 days, why is determination to not drink so hard, needless to say I have failed again… Or as I have read, I have not failed; I have just not tried enough times. Benjamin Franklin I think.
I went to the moderation management site, sounds good, not working yet, at best I can limit the days I drink (well I can limit to a few but cant say which days), but the limit I drink is not manageable at all.
My anniversary (21 years) was October 25 2009 (yesterday, we didn’t even speak) , I am scum, I blame my sweet wife for our fights when its me that cant keep my promises, I am a functional alcoholic, too functional, I wonder if I ever will want to stop more that I want to drink!
I love my wife soooo much; thanks for making me see that; I wish the best for you and your family!
I went 14 days without a drink recently, 3 years ago I went 87 days, why is determination to not drink so hard, needless to say I have failed again… Or as I have read, I have not failed; I have just not tried enough times. Benjamin Franklin I think.
I could have written your post 5 or 6 years ago.
Moderation never worked for me, but AA has taught me how to live sober and live life on life's terms...
Maybe check out some of the threads, start one of your own to see how you can best progress into sobriety (if that is what you desire), or feel free to PM me... you don't HAVE to 'fail again...'
And the term 'functional alcoholic.' Is there really such a thing? I look back, and at one point considered myself a "functional" alcoholic. Yeah, right. Not for this kid. FunctionING, BARELY! For me, the periods of drinking got longer and longer, and sounds like you drink like I did -- Beer, nightly -- and the periods in between drinking got shorter and shorter. If you carry that out (and trust me, the disease just progresses), the lines eventually blur and you can't distiguish.... but you can choose to stop that today.
Hope you find your way, I know what it's like to be where you are at...
NMB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thank you everyone, I certainly do not want to highjack this thread, but your words mean a lot, I can relate as many can to this thread…
I will conceder posting my story, maybe asking a non-drinking friend (I actually have a few) to go to a meeting, I kind of know already that I will bale out like I read that someone did on there first one, maybe we drink to socialize, but when we at first don’t we fear society.
Tomorrows a new day…
I will conceder posting my story, maybe asking a non-drinking friend (I actually have a few) to go to a meeting, I kind of know already that I will bale out like I read that someone did on there first one, maybe we drink to socialize, but when we at first don’t we fear society.
Tomorrows a new day…
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
