Ozark

Was going to get offsite of my workplace for a quick lunch, and, instead, looked up a close meeting. I was somewhat disappointed as nothing said at the meeting gave me any better feeling about trying to quit than I felt before I went in. I realize this is not some kind of an instantaneous transformation, but I expected to come out feeling a little more encouraged, inspired, or something. I called my AA friend who lives in another state (he's been helping me via at least sharing his experience), and he suggested I try another group. Has anyone ever had a long distance sponsor?

thirtybubba

No, to the last question... but I have out of state encouragement to go to meetings as well. And, I've been to a few different ones... they are different.

If you want inspiration, there might be one that's inspirational... the one you went to might not be that one. Keep trying them out, see what you get.

Heck, brother, what do you got to lose?

TheSunAlsoRises

Hey glad you got the guts to go to a meeting. I've been there--the first meeting I walked into was the most toxic worthless group I have ever seen. Keep looking I found one I like a lot, I hope you can as well... happy recovering

joedris

You're right. A bolt of lightning isn't gonna come down and inspire you. It's good that you went to a meeting, bad but not unusual that your were underwhelmed. Closed meetings can do that to a newcomer. Get a schedule and look up other meetings close to you. Open discussion ones are good for a newbie, as are Men/Woman only meetings.

As for a long distance sponsor, I wouldn't recommend it. Face to face interaction is usually the most effective way for sponsors to interact with sponsees. But having a long-distance close friend as an advisor is an excellent idea. It'll give you the opportunity to get different perspectives on your recovery issues.

shaun00

Ill second what your friend said.....try some other groups..
i quit drinking by involving myself in a program of action.....suggested in the bb.

i didnt quit drinking by doing meetings.......i got fellowship in the meetings .
i suggest that you talk to some 12 steppers at a 12 step meeting.

im a great believer in the saying..nothing happens if nothing happens.
if i can be of any help please feel free to pm me.

barb dwyer

hi Ozark -

CONGRATULATIONS for spending your lunch on your recovery!

Having some experience with 'nooners' (noon meetings) they tend to be 'get in get out' in their energy since people *are* on their lunch hour.

I went through a phase there, where that was exactly what I wanted.

here lately, I've wanted more 'fellowship' ... time to hang out after, maybe meet up with a few folks for coffee.. that kind of thing.

I hope you'll continue to check out your area for meetings, I'm sure there's one aroun there that will 'fit' you!

Nevertheless

Hello Ozark
I would go back at least a couple more times before I condemn the group. Different people show up different days. Different topics etc.
To be honest about it, I went to meetings early on where I came out wanting to drink more than I did when I went in. I also walked out of a lot of them feeling 10 times better. You really have to get to know a few of the people to understand, in my opinion. Just like we have good days and bad days, there are good meetings , and crappy meetings. I believe EVERY group is gonna have a crappy meeting every now and then.
Fred

traderjane

I'm right there with you trying different meetings myself. I stick to the "open" meetings and don't get as much out of the step talk since I'm a newcomer. The discussion meetings seem to be the most helpful at this point. I did try one "speaker" meeting -- it was okay but it was huge. I think I prefer the smaller groups. I actually WAS inspired at my first meeting -- I knew I had found a group of people that was going to understand and be able to help. I hope you keep going back and try until you get that feeling.