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witnessing their last 'low'

Old 09-28-2009, 03:20 PM
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Parsifal88.......

dsc ....

Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum

You might find this interesting

How We Get Addicted - TIME

And....
Long before alcoholics come to their death from
drinking....there are danger signs along the way.
If anyone is concerned about drinking....there are
various ways to stop before end stage alcoholism.

As far as I kknow....they all begin with abstinance,
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Parsifal88 View Post
There are days i dont drink...whether because i talk myself out of it or because i have to be somewhere or because i feel like crap from the night before. But...i drink 3-4 nights a week on average and i drink until i'm intoxicated...which is at least 1/2 pint (or equivalent) these days.
Hmm... you may be an alcoholic! Which given all the good that can come from recovering from it, is far from the worst thing in the world. Of course, as you described, continuing down its sometimes long road untreated usually is.

You've already gotten a hint here of just how many people's stories and thoughts and fears are probably just like your own... Have you ever sat in on an AA meeting? You'd be sure to hear even more.

Chris
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:41 PM
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Welcome!!!

All I can say is wow. Thanks for the post.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:02 PM
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Thanks for sharing Parsifal88

It must be tough & also very rewarding at times working at the ICU. I had to visit my local hospital last month for the first time in a while.

Basically I had an extreme panic attack that involved the Vagus nerve. I have had problems with anxiety & panic attacks in the past but this episode was off of the charts. I tried to walk to the local hospital (didn't want to bother anyone lol). I had to stop & call an ambulance after a couple of blocks, I couldn't move & I felt like I was having a heart attack.

Spent a few hours with the team as they gave me meds & monitored my blood pressure (very, very high) as well as pulse (also very high). The staff was amazing & took very good care of me. The loving kindness that the staff displayed brought renewed confidence in our government run health care system (Canada).

I was released the next morning & made a trip back to the ICU in the evening to bring some large containers of coffee & a few dozen doughnuts/muffins. When I was walked through the hospital & gave the evening crew my gifts (card) & sincere thanks for their services I saw tears in some of the caregivers eyes.

I guess the hard working employees don't get the recognition they deserve a lot of the time. Thank you for your service in helping people on a daily basis.

Take Care,

NB
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:43 AM
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That was a very powerful post, Para. Thank you. It'll sure help me not drink today.

And welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here.
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Old 09-29-2009, 12:12 PM
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Old 09-29-2009, 12:13 PM
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I came back to my office and found an e-mail from my brother telling me to let my other brother know that he is going to the hospital to be checked out, once again he has severe gut pain or as we know it, pancreatitis. My question is why???...how many times will he go through this before he wakes up and realizes he is killing himself. After reading your post and those that followed, its may sound wierd, but I felt kind of a calmness, because this is what they do and I cannot control it or him.

He went through extensive rehab last fall and stayed sober until June...had a sponsor, working a program, thought all was good. Then left his wife and kids and continued to spiral down...it's just so frustrating to watch and not be able to fix it. I just hope one day he can find the reason to be sober like alot of you on this board. My prayers are for all of us!
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Old 09-29-2009, 01:35 PM
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Welcome Para and thanks for the post. I have lived with an alcoholic husband my whole adult life (just turned 50). I have brought my sister back from near death from alcoholism. I started drinking in my 40's to join the world. I felt like it was my turn. I never dreamed it could turn into a problem. Fast forward about 8 years and I found myself a well educated mother and grandmother in rehab. I thought if I was going to be an alcoholic it would have happened in my 20's. I drank to be social for many years (a glass of wine or two occasionally). This disease if very cunning and you are wise to see signs before it gets too late. The slope is very steep and it can pick up speed very quickly before we even know it. While I was in my drinking career I never once thought how bad my sister was or husband still is. Good luck and thanks again for posting. We need to hear the horror stories because obviously none of us are that bad because we are still here.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:42 PM
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My son was in the ICU for 3 months (not drink related), and I was there every day. I'm not saying that gives me the level of understanding about it that you must have, I'm just saying I understand it on a certain level. The nurses there were the most dedicated, compassionate, caring people I have ever met. However, that is also the most stressful environment I've ever been in. You have a tough job that leaves you with a lot to deal with after you punch out. Drinking won't make anything better even though it might seem like it does for a little while - I found that one out the hard way. Like Philly said, it's a steep and unforgiving slope. Thanks for your post, keep coming back, there's lots of good people here.
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Old 09-30-2009, 05:26 PM
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Thank you for posting. You have reminded me that I can never have enough reminders how deadly this disease is. It seems to be a pretty good indicator that if you are worried about your drinking, you probably should be. I also agree that there are many health care providers who witness this disease during their shift, and then go on to live it personally at night. This is a testiment to how "powerless" we really are. Thank you again and please stick around. Every one of us understands and you need never be alone.
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:03 PM
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Boomslang.....I hope your son is healthy again.
Thanks for sharing ..... Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:21 PM
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oops - probably shoulda added that it was a happy ending, one of the best days of my life was when he came home, it's all good now.
Thanks Carol!!! Very glad to be here.
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Old 09-30-2009, 10:02 PM
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Thank you so much for your post. It's a clear reminder of both the effects of alcoholism, and the insanity that can surround it. I know I was in denial for a long time before I could accept I had become an alcoholic, and there followed two years of off-and-on denial/"I can moderate"/ and nearly crossing some deadly lines for myself.

Welcome to the forums... I'm glad you are here.
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Old 10-02-2009, 01:23 PM
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Thanks to you all for responding. I'm really impressed with the level of support and understanding the people on this site provide to one another.

As for me, I've decided to plan a drinking 'stop-date' and see how it goes. Luckily, i dont have any serious withdrawl issues...other than being an irritable ass after a day or so... I'm a bit on the private-side and am leary of AA at this point (probably for the same thousand reasons you hear from other addicts)...so for now the SR boards will be my only real source of peer-support. Wish me luck!
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Old 10-02-2009, 02:01 PM
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Wishing you all the luck in the world right here in Chicagolandia suburbia! You can do it especially with the incredible people here on SR...you are in my prayers.
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Old 10-02-2009, 02:50 PM
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that's just how it is

My nursing ICU experience was years before I had an addict in my life. Your description was very real, truthful and moving. I remember families who had just given up all hope. They stood there grieving over a life never really lived, the hurt, the shame, the sadness. And there was the alcoholic, dying slowly, yellow and smelly, making no sense in their babbling nightmares. I hope their death was not as painful for them as it was for their families. God bless all who suffer and hang in there. Some nursing blogs are out there that deal with this also. You are not alone, I think this is a big problem for health care workers. Bless you for what you do everyday, few people realize how difficult it is...
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Old 10-03-2009, 04:37 PM
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Thank you for your very vivid description of a dying alcoholic. My mom died due to this disease and I swore I'd never go that route, only to be in exactly the same place she was. I am blessed, I am still alive and sober today only by the Grace of God.

Good luck with your recovery. Keep posting, it really does help.
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Old 10-03-2009, 05:14 PM
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Thanks so much for your openess and honesty in this thread. What a lot of newcomers don't realize, is that they can help us with more time under our belts, remember what we were like and where we can be again, or probably worse, if we were to pick up using again.

Thanks again and welcome to SR! :ghug3
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:31 PM
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You know, the truth is.... I always figured I'd die from alcohol. Still might. But I always pictured a lot more quick and violent.

Then again, I don't know anybody who died of natural causes (even alcoholism like you describe) and a whole list that got murdered, died of accident, or OD'd.

Interesting post. Take care,
-TB, reflecting on dying slow

ETA: Oh yeah, and welcome... sorry for no manners, but you got me thinkin'...
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:28 PM
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Thanks for a very scary post & if ya don't mind, i'm gonna photo copy it & read it everyday. It certainly has stopped me from looking forward to getting my bourbon tomorrow, to, guess what, celebrate a small times abstinence!, how stupid!
Being ratty & a pain in the ass for a while surely is better than the up & down of drinking. At least being on a 'level' & knowing where i am is a good thing. Thanks.
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