tigers13

keith at 5yrs and 4 months, I thought the same thing as you, the problem had been removed, then my husband died. I found the old thoughts came flooding back in..."if I drink, it would ease the pain". "I just can't bear this on my own, I want to be numb to the world again". I was surprised at the thoughts, and they scared me...I thought I had this licked and totally under control. Thankfully the things I learned in recovery I could go back to and realize that I had the choice, so I chose to not drink...but damn I wanted to.

tigers13

Your statement that some people just aren't ready is so true...it took me 4 detoxes and 3 treatment centers before I realized I really wanted it, I didn't want to die.

I'm almost at 6yrs now, and I've been thru 4 major surgeries and the loss of my husband, and have had to face up to the demons of major depression and Bipolar2. But I too, stayed sober thru it all.

Way to go lucky, it's a hard thing to do!

LosingmyMisery

I think we all have to reach that point of surrender, I'm done, beat, I can't do this anymore. Then we have to figure out, where do I go from here? I had no clue at how to get sober, I was an expert at being an alcoholic. So I worked a program, half assed it and relapsed, twice. I then tried harder. I realized I wasn't really there yet, I thought I was ready, but wasn't giving it my all. I thought I could cruise through getting sober and the rest would be history.

It doesn't work that way. I had to change my mind, body and soul. To me, that is key. When you are willing to get down and dirty and change your overall being, then you have shot at recovery. It has worked. I have been sober over 5 years now. To me, that is a miracle. I was an end stage alcoholic who didn't do anything without drinking. Towards the end, I had to drink. That was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I hated what I was doing, but my addiction kept me stuck and I didn't have the know all to get unstuck.

That is where reaching out for support played a part. So now I'm sober, my life has totally turned around. It took a lot of work to get to where I am today. I am not the same person I was in most aspects. But here is the rub, what about tomorrow?

There are no guarantees. There have been so many that have fallen into the trap. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to drink today, but what if that changes tomorrow? That is where I think we have to always keep our guard up and be prepared for the moment when the notion of drinking starts to drift back into our thoughts as a possibility. I can never let that happen. That is my biggest fear. If it does, I'm finished. There is no doubt in my mind that drinking will destroy me. I have come so far and worked so hard, I am not moving backward. I will do whatever it takes so that never happens. Always stay on your toes, I believe.

mumbai78

Yes this is one of the most important things in recovery. We always have to be vigilant. Irrespective of whether we call ourselves recovered or recovering,what is important is what we mean when we use those words. When we say recovered do we mean we are not alcoholic anymore ? that we are cured of this disease completeley ? Absoiutely not.

Can we go back to having just one drink and put the bottle back on the shelf? Absolutely not.