Iriss

I think I finally understand that moderation, is clearly not an option. I now know that I have been trying to moderate all of my life. If this is removed from the equation, this leaves only two alternatives. I know this is common knowledge to alot of 'old timers', but it feels a bit of a revelation to me, I have seen it discussed so much, but never really thought about how much I was trying to control my drinking, and that if I give up moderating, I will choose the correct path. Thank you for all of your help, as it is reading these boards that help me to move forward and tackle this x

smacked

Yep, I gave it a try til it almost killed me. I was lucky it didn't.

Now you can just live the rest of your life, and not the tangled mess of what you had before.. at least that's how I feel about it in my life!!!

CarolD

I'm really glad you decided to have a non drinking future.
It's the absolutely most healthy positive thing I ever did.

Good for you!

penny74

l have tried it many times.
Allways ended in a drama.
But even now the voice is wispering "This time will be different"


“He conquers who endures.”
~Persius

TheSunAlsoRises

Congratulations... its a long road out of denial for many of us. Its not going to be easy (obviously) but its great to hear you realize abstinence is the answer.

KenL

Thanks Iriss. It's true. I can't moderate either. Standing there in complete and stark honesty I told myself, "I can't moderate. I'm an alcoholic." Sometimes it just seems too easy. Other times it's just too hard to even conceive. But either way, I know the result will always be the same...if I drink just one, then I'll end up drinking 10.

Jeb18

Amen. Yeah I've found out that I just can't drink period.

wanttolive

When I tried moderating I spent more time counting drinks and watching the clock waiting until I could have the next one than I did drinking! Inevitably I ended up in the same spot anyway drinking as much or more than ever. I just can't drink period.

yeahgr8

Towards the end, before losing complete control (or should i say realised i had no control), i was moderating with 2 bottle of wine and a six pack everynight and was pleased i was keeping my consumption down...how crazy is that?! Talk about self medication...glad i'm not doing that today!!!!!!!!!!!

LosingmyMisery

I think for an alcoholic, trying to moderate is the true definition of insanity. However, I can relate because I tried again and again and failed. I think we all have to come to the realization that moderation is insanity and we have to let the notion go and face the cold, hard, reality, I can not drink. Think of this point as a life altering moment. Now, you can truly begin to recover.

ElegantlyWasted

Tried moderation myself. Did not work well. Sat down and wrote 2 obituaries; one if I continued to drink (or moderate) and one if I completely stopped. I was as honest as I could be. Decided I liked the second version better. I review them when I'm trying convince myself I can drink like "normal" drinkers. Seems to work; helps me focus on what is real. Humbly on day 54 this time.

McGowdog

I don't even have to try to moderate to know I cannot. I can merely go back into my experience and know at a gut level that once I start to drink, it's full-tilt boogie everytime... especially in the last few years of my drinking.

My off button is broke and stuck on full volume.

And yes... this means death, incarceration, labotomy, etc.

So... now the 2nd part:

Can you stay away from that 1st drink on your own? Can you do it alone? If you really really want/need/desire to?

If not, you're like many many of us; doomed. You need help. Please accept it. Throw in the towel. Let us show you what we did and what worked/what didn't work.

marty888

When I was moderating I used to be so proud if I could "limit" myself to 12 beers a day !!! It took me years to get it that for me it was all or nothing.
Thankfully now its nothing

shaun00

i have little.. if any experience of moderate drinking..
i have some experience of attempting it.....truly believeing it could be done..

moderate drinking was something i talked alot about BEFORE i had a drink..
fading into oblivion once the attempt was started..

preta

Regular drinkers dont have to try hard to moderate, they just dont get in trouble all the time with their drinking. We have a mental obsession, like one poster said, counting minutes between drinks, etc. Normal drinkers DONT DO THAT! Trying controlled drinking is the recommended method of diagnosis in the big book. Dont think your an alcoholic, try just having like a beer or two (regular sized beers folks..trust me i tried that angle). Try it several times.

"The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control."
Big Book p.30

I was fortunate enough to foggily grasp this pretty quickly when I got to AA. This knowledge alone wasnt enough to keep me sober. I relapsed. I realized that in addition to abstinence I had to follow directions and choose to live a spiritual life and make it my experience, not my theory.

Iriss

Thank you all - The fact that one has to try to moderate screams that there is a major problem, I never have to moderate carrots, or water etc etc... But as you have pointed out that realization may not be enough to keep me sober, and I guess that for now these boards are my support, but this has been a key turning point for me, and I have not drank since then. x

CarolD

That is really good news!

Please let us know if you have questions
or need assistance with your new direction

catch-22

I'm going to use the bolded part as my signature...