Sikkisirus

You're right Debs, the month sober IS NOT WASTED. Its not the end of the world, you CAN do it again.

wishing you the best

FBL

Debs, no lectures from me...I've been in your shoes WAY too many times to count and no amount of lectures from family and friends ever stopped me.

I just pray that you can find within yourself the peace and happiness that comes from true sobriety.

Keep trying and don't EVER give up!

debs

Thank you all for your replies.

I hope with all of my heart that this is the last tme.

shaun00

Right here comes the lecture....lol..
Debs in the beginning i returned to drinking more times than i can remember..

And when i wasnt drinking i was pretty unpleasant to be around.
jeez what is wrong with me....i do meetings till them come out my ears.

Only when i engaged with a sponsor and began working through the steps did my drinking stop...and i stayed off the merry go round.

i dont know how you were doing with the steps?....

thank god you still have the desire...some give up and never get back.

god be with you.

WantToHeal

Deb, I wish you the courage and strength to "fall down 10 times, but get up 11". Be well.

tigers13

Took me most of a year to finally "get it". My advice, don't HOPE this is the last time...KNOW this is your last time...then build on that.

keithj

Debs,

You were going along so well for a while there. Remember everyone being amazed at your starting Step 4 with only 10 days sobriety?

And then you decided that you didn't need any of that. You didn't need a spiritual awakening to overcome alcoholism. You could handle it on your own. Or if you couldn't, you knew you could go back to the Steps.

So now it's really up to you. Are you going to try the same thing again (that you've tried how many times before) or are you going to try what has been successful for many others? It's all up to you.

debs

Thanks so much, everyone... for your words of support and the people who I've communicated with via pm........ you have no idea what that means to me...

Im not too surprisingly going through a pretty ****** time of remorse and shame...

Just wanted to say that I'm very sorry to have let those of you who care... down...

I'm sitting in a dark, warm apartment because this weekend I didn't work... because I chose to drink instead... Luckily, I spoke to my boss today, and he is allowing me to keep my job....

I'm piggy backing on a nearby wireless.... but my laptop's battery won't last forever...

I didn't, however, get my electric bill paid...

I'm gonna try and work all day tomorrow... get some money together... but this is a pretty big wake up call...

All I can do is try again. Thanks again.

LosingmyMisery

Yep, that is all you can do, keep trying and keep learning. Each time I messed up, I learned from it. It was painful, but those memories have stuck to me to this day. If I want to ponder the idea of a drink, I just have to flash back to the shame and guilt. Nope, nothing is worth that. Today, I don't suffer shame and guilt. Keep fighting the good fight. You will get there.

DayWalker

debs you haven't let anyone down here. I'm sure the majority of us here didn't stop drinking the first time. Or for me, the 2nd, 3rd,4th,....10th...and so on, you get the picture.

The most important person to not let down is yourself, and as long as you used this as something to build on and a learning experience then you haven't let yourself down either.

Stay strong and get back at it, I know you have it in ya

Steve

Dee74

I wasn't let down either - I remember very well how hard this is all is.
You're back and you're positive - that's a great basis to work from Debs

D

Sikkisirus

As Dee and Day Walker says, you haven't let anyone down Debs. Everyones 100% behind you in your struggle. Best wishes

NEOMARXIST

Ultimately the only person who you are ever letting down is yourself when you choose to drink.

It took me a long time to really understand that the only person who I was shooting in the foot when I chose to drink was myself. Sure there are other people who will feel let down ie- family, friends etcetc but don't not drink for anybody but YOU.

That is fundamentally important for maintaining sobriety Imo.

All the Best