That Dude

I went out drinking thursday night. Started at my parents house during a football game, then ended up taking a cab to another bar. Then I remember being at another bar that I have been kicked out of on numerous occasions. I got punched in the face, not sure by who and then ended up in county jail for trespassing. I ended up with a busted lip and a scratch on the cornea in my eye. I was able to sign myself out the next morning and then caught a ride to a steakhouse around 11 am. From there I continued the drinking. I got cut off from their and a couple of other places. I drank until about 11 that night and then called my mother to come get me. I have pretty much been sleeping since Friday night around 11;30. The only good things I can say is I havent had any alcohol in about 46 hours, I am alive, and more proof that I can't drink successfully.

CarolD

I agree. Alcohol is harming you.....
I sure hope you will quit.

cptspalding

Hell of a way to get the proof you needed dude. Glad you still alive and all the best if you decide to quit (which I think might be a good idea).

NewBeginning010

How much more proof do you need? Sounds like a nightmare to me. What are you going to change this time?

I am not sure what the inspiration of having Johnny Cash giving the middle finger is as your avatar.... here is where he was at towards the end of his life. He was a struggling alcoholic as I am sure you know.

I hope that you can get away from the "hurt" too.

All of the best in whatever path you choose.

Take Care,

NB

RIP Johnny Cash

gravity

For the last several years of my drinking, almost every time was a multiple day bender. And being a public drinker all that horrible stuff happened over and over.

I'm willing to bet that you thought you could handle a couple of drinks or a night of drinking.

Yeah. Right.

Get some help. This can be the last time.

Take care.

That Dude

I really did think that I could just go hang out with my parents, get drunk, and go to bed. I really can't control the drinking. I am really not sure what is wrong with my avatar. The song "Hurt" was actually done first by Trent Reznir from Nine Inch Nails.

Firehazard

Proof Proof of what is the big question to answer I'd like to hear. Write it

down write down all the events in your life that is proof that you can't control

your drinking. This is traditionally what WE do.

Congrats on 46 hours it is a good start.

It is definetely not proof you are a food addict, sex addict, overweight, resentful,stupid,or defective.

Mr. Bridges asks, “Which one trusted God to send the rain?” “The one who prepared,” replied the coach. “God will send the rain when He’s ready. You need to prepare your fields to receive it,”--------You didn't have to drink the rain.

hendershot

Proof is not that important, in my experience. I think the first step is a necessary bridge to cross for those of us deeply in denial and all but I have known many people who can admit they have a problem but are still unable to quit. I knew I was an alcoholic years before sobriety stuck. I think you need to develop willingness. You need to be able to do whatever it takes. You need to find some AA meetings and get there, even if they are really far away from you physically and you can't drive. Footwork is necessary to gain and retain sobriety. Posting on here is the equivalent of sticking your toe in to test the water of recovery. You need to dive right in.

Firehazard

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives were unmanageable. back

That Dude

okay guys, I lied. There is a meeting about 5 minutes from my apartment. I have been to many times. I have had two different sponsors but have never been past step three. I am embarassed to go back after my many failed attempts at sobriety. I just cant seem to get over my shame.

NewBeginning010

1) Regarding the avatar: Having a man that struggled with alcohol & drug addiction giving the finger seems wrong, to me anyways ;-)

2) Yes, I know NIN wrote & recorded it first (Trent Reznor to be exact)

So you responded to two things in my post what about the other two?

1) How much more proof do you need?
2) What are you going to change this time?

I hope you find a way that works for you.

Take Care,

NB

NewBeginning010

There is no shame is walking in "one" more time & sticking to a program, everyone would be proud of you for not giving up/in (including all of us here at SR).

Look back on what you have done in the past & what you need to do differently this time out.

Let us know how it goes

Good Luck!

NB

Firehazard

The only requirement is the desire to stop drinking.


It doesn't say the only requirement is for people to feel good about seeing us.

I ASSUMED you were a liar before agreeing to work with you.

One of my favorite AA jokes:



How can you tell when a addict alcoholic is lying?

They open their mouths

Dee74

That Dude - what makes you think your shame is any greater than anyone else there?
do you really think you're the first guy at a AA meeting to have 'many failed attempts at sobriety'?

Pride will kill you, man.

It's your call - you can live your life the way you are now, or you can make an effort to change it.

It's entirely up to you. I hope you make the right choice
D

Mark75

Sounds like you are still working on step one... That's OK... It takes a lot of us, those who relapse and those who just have a hard time with acceptance, a while to get a good step one...

But like was said above....

Willingness... Have you been knocked down hard enough yet?

Welcome back.

Mark

joedris

I've got more white chips than a can of pringles. You think that you're the only one who uses the swinging door feature of AA? Get back in the rooms, man! Nobody cares that you're starting again. Believe me, they'll be happy to see you.


P.S. I think that you've finally proved that you can't drink. Not much sense in trying the experiment again.

That Dude

Okay thanks guys. I have just been sure so many times before. I feel like two different people. Its getting hard to type with only one good eye. Good night to all and I promise I will go to a meeting tomorrow evening. Thats about all I can handle right now. and oh yeah...I have been thinking about the Johnny Cash avatar and to be honest I think I have it on there just because I think it makes me look cool. Maybe I should be without an avatar until I figure out who I am.

Mark75

Well, your avatar is of one of the most important musical influences on me, but also, as someone whose life was troubled but found redemption. Yea, he was an F.U. kind of guy, especially early... but that finger he is giving is not at you and me... it's at intolerance, bigotry, and hate... Kind of an early "Mean People Su*k" attitude....

So maybe I see it differently, but I think he was a great man... But maybe some would take it wrong, I don't know...

Keep coming back.

Mark

That Dude

Thanks that what I thought.

marty888

Johnny Cash was an inspiration, he got his sh#t cleaned up