DayWalker

debs since you said you stopped going to meetings, don't have a sponsor, and if I remember correct you aren't seeing anyone for any other outside help or have anyone real close to talk about things with. I have to ask the obvious question. What exactly are you currently doing right now for your sobriety?

I don't mean that in a offensive way, only ask it because I really want to see you succeed. But with this illness we all share sitting back and just hoping to stay sober doesn't do anything but lead us back into our old habits. AA is not the only way, but are you doing anything else besides that to better your life?

Steve

debs

I'm not drinking...

I'm talking about it openly w/ my friends and family...

I have ordered a copy of the Big Book which I plan to read through when it arrives...

Maybe I'll eventually get back to meetings, but for the moment, I'm managing to remain sober and frankly, I can't afford the gas to get to them...

Le sigh.... it'll all work out... hopefully.

DayWalker

Very glad to hear your still not drinking debs

Since you ordered a big book if you don't mind let me make another suggestion on a book that I think you might find some real good & helpful info in. Pick up a copy of "Beyond The Influence". I have been reading that myself for the past week and it's simply an amazing book that really does help people like us understand things about alcohol that we have never been able to understand in the past. And its cheap too, you can get it off ebay for under $5.

Steve

Dee74

le tap

LOL

No I get it - so long as it is sound logistical reasons keeping you from real world support and not internal doubletalk...nothing to stop you posting here as much as you like anyway, Deb

You've got enough tools now not to have to rely on 'hopefully' - just gotta use 'em
D

shaun00

hey debs.....nice to see you posting....

in my experience some people do just stay sober by will power alone.

ive seen it a few times..

the problem is ive also seen real alcoholics die trying that method..

great idea getting a big book........

one suggestion.....read both dr silkworths letters and see if you see yourself in there.

please feel free to pm me if you have any questions i can help with...or get over to 12 step support and get some feedback...

chrisinaustin

I suppose I should introduce myself or at least say hi before posting again -- I replied late in a thread yesterday as my first post without even stopping to applaud the original poster on reaching 100 days (Congratulations, Seekingsobriety!), so... hey y'all.

I lived with that voice for ages. Right up until the end, actually. The only reason I think it hasn't come back is because I was one of ones who answered it so absolutely. I don't recommend getting to such a bedrock bottom, but it certainly ended a decades-long dance I was doing around myself. And heck, I knew where I stood, what I was -- I knew when I was 15. But of course, inside the alcoholism prize box, when you root around in the tissue paper at the bottom, you find it also comes with a bonus gift of being able to deny reality -- to dance around yourself -- with epic ability.

Deb, I've shared in meetings -- to funky looks and grumbles, natch -- that meetings to me are a bonus. They are incredibly valuable, but for me the rock was developing and working a spiritual program with my sponsor. I did gain a great new open relationship with my family through all this (amazingly), and talk to them regularly as well. But they're vested stakeholders in a way that, for all my sponsor's done for me and the relationship we have, he's not. He's a million awesome things, but ironically in the strict sense of the word "friend", that he's not.

If I had to pick and choose, after you get and read the book, see if you can find a sponsor, or a similar mentor or guide. who's been there, but wasn't there, if that makes sense. Maybe they'll fall into your life when you least expect it.

To quote Ferris Bueller -- if you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up

Chris

debs

Ok Ok Ok...............

I'll frikkin GO!



lol

chrisinaustin

Aw heck, I didn't mean that as a directive. 50% of the time I just like to hear myself talk. Or write. Whatever

Dee74

we nag because we care

D

debs

LOL... no worries...

It was the combination of all of the responses as well as Dee's little 'foot tap' ....

Actually really made me laugh out loud... haha...

And I have been makin up too many excuses anyway...

I need to go and quit just SAYIN I'll go....

least

Never give in to that little voice, whispering or screaming, it lies and kills. I hear it all the time too, but just turn it off, don't listen to it. Eventuallly it goes away...

Stay strong, you can do it!

Boleo

The reason that I like to stress the "Delusional Thinking" aspect of this disease is that it is responsible for most of the excuses that lead to the first drink.

Fear itself is a form of fallacious reasoning and illogical conclusions.