debs

So today I was talking to a friend of mine...

Her birthday is coming up at the end of September and she's having a big bash that's gonna be DJ'd and have an open bar...................

She wanted to know if I was interested in attending...

Of course my first instinct was HELL NO!!!

But then I thought about it and started thinking, 'Well, maybe it'd be a good time to test myself... I can't avoid situations that involve alcohol for the rest of my life...'

I said, 'Well I may just do that; but I'll stick to Coke!'

(Mind you, this friend knows that I'm fighting alcoholism)...

Her response?

'Well, there's gonna be liquor there, but there's also gonna be beer... Beer wouldn't be THAT bad for you, right?'



I was admittedly a bit speechless.................

Astro

Priceless. I can relate.

My fiancee's a normie. My Dad was over a few weeks ago and she was having a glass of wine, so he asked me if it was OK for me to drink wine :rotfxko

Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

penny74

My best friend asks me every time : "Why can't you just have 3 drinks on fryday and saturday night and then stop, like me ?"
Some people just don't understand.


Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
Sidney J. Harris

JohnnyZ

No offense, but there was your mistake. No need to tell anyone what you're drinking, hence you won't get that kind of response. JMHO.

Last week, we bumped into a couple who my wife and I go out to dinner and drinks with every few months. They don't know that I recently stopped drinking and it was excitedly suggested that we go out for Mai Tai's at the Ocean Wok (our favorite Chinese restaurant) soon. I simply said, "Great! Let's do it!" And left it at that. I'm sure we'll get together soon, and when the time comes to order 4 Mai Tai's, I'll politely request that my drink be a club soda with lemon... :-)

penny74

l am a vegetarian.
Some people say "Oh.. but you do eat chicken ?"
About the same thing..

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.

Boleo

If you are going to "test yourself";

1. Wait till you have worked the steps
2. Take along someone who is also in recovery
3. Have a exit plan in case you feel uncomfortable

sailorjohn

Yes, it would be difficult to avoid situations where alcohol is being consumed, but it isn't difficult to avoid situations that essentially revolve around drinking.

I've been told on many occasions to go with my gut instincts, in my experience, they generally are correct. My problems usually begin when I start thinking.

Nevertheless

Debs
I really believe it's to soon to "test" yourself. But you know yourself better than anyone here. And yes if you do, you want an escape.
Most of my old friends are, and know they are alcoholics. So they know better than to tempt someone who is abstaining.
But the one that gets me is they ask "are you doing OK". I'm like (I'm just fine. Your sloppy drunk and asking me if I'm doing ok) Gimme a break. They mean well. But really I don't enjoy being around people that are drunk anymore. It does make me realize just how stupid I acted while drinking.
Fred

FBL

I "tested" myself way back on Day 13 (I'm currently on Day 67) by going to a regular bar setting with an old drinking buddy that I hadn't seen in a couple of years. Turns out he was also "on the wagon" and we ended up having a great conversation over pizza and diet sodas!

smacked

Even a year later now, I have absolutely no desire to "test" myself. It *is* possible to avoid most drinking situations if you choose to. I can't remember the last time I was around someone that was drinking, unless they ordered a glass of wine at another table in a restaurant I happened to be at. I have no interest in bars, clubs, parties..not anymore. My sobriety is more important than my pride about turning down an invite.

We can't expect people to understand.. this is a solitary journey for the most part.

BKP

People who are not drunks can not relate we actually had this discussion at my AA meeting today, people ask.....for how long are you going to be not drinking, like we are doing time or something. I like how you said to yourself that you can not hide from situations like this your entire life, true. Do what is right for you if it seems sketchy take a walk or get the hell out of the situation!

tommyk

They just don't understand, and that FRUSTRATES THE **** out of me....!

But... I didn't understand for a whole lot of years, and I still don't completely understand.

I just know I'm better off not drinking.

So.... bottom line.. how can I EVER expect someone else to understand?

Dee74

I gotta say I kinda like that HELL NO instinct debs - this sounds like a bit of a 'kegger' to me...

I have 2 years and I know I have no business being at a party if the main aim of everyone is to get drunk - you know the parties I mean.

yes we have to live our lives - but it's best to live them on our terms

you've got several weeks...think about it carefully ok?....if you decide to go, have several contingency plans in place

D

crispringles

I told my roommate before I moved in that I don't drink or drug. She knows it is my biggest priority, and told me she respected my lifestyle decision. Last night, 3 days after moving in, she said, "I'm not trying to peer pressure you, but I'm a little bummed you don't drink. I have faith in people (ironic enough). Entertain this idea: don't you think it would be awesome if you could have one drink a month from now. Then eventually two drinks a month later...etc."

And for a beastly minute, I thought "yeah, that would be...awesome." But seriously...I don't want to get myself thinking those thoughts, let alone another person waving the idea around me. A minute later, I remembered all I have learned from my time in AA, seeing what that first drink did to me on my slip, and from you lovely folks here at SR. Thank you all for being a collective roommate that understands

McGowdog

What I want to know is whether or not vagetarians eat animal cookies.

So debs, this is a perfect example of why our sobriety is 100% our responsibility. It's also our responsibility what we drink and what we eat. My aunt's rum balls would give you a serious buzz. Boy, they were good though.

penny74

McGowdog,
l don't eat anything that had a face.
And l used to drink until l was faceless.
Thank the powers that helped me and myself, those days are over. (l hope)

Sikkisirus

I just want to say that if you do decide to go then stay strong and have fun.

mikel60

"... Beer wouldn't be THAT bad for you, right?'"

Speechless is the word, debs. A guy once asked me why I didn't just drink whiskey one night a week. This was coming from a guy that I had brawled with two weeks before, breaking my knee when I tried to drop on his face with it, but missed. He then pummeled me senseless.

Sober I have never lifted a finger towards anyone and shudder at the thought of it, but he thinks a little whiskey won't hurt.

Yikes.

Mike