SummertimeHigh5

I drank last night after 121 days of sobriety. I did it all because of a guy that I liked and was going out on a date with. I felt so scared to go out with this person and I have no idea why. I think it is because I wanted it to work so bad. Now he is not talking to me (well, bare minimum.. You can tell he felt no spark because he talked to me constantly and actually practically was forcing me to meet him that is how much he liked me until we met). I have no idea what happened but I liked him although I had doubts about meeting him because he brags all of the time. You know the feeling when you have not gone out with someone yet and when you finally do because they want to really meet you and you don't but then you like that person a lot and they do not like you back and it was the other way around in the beginning? It is a mess and I broke my sobriety for this fool because I was so nervous about going out with him. I am so damn depressed today.

gincognito

Sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing a bit more than a week ago. Well not the same in that it was a girl not a guy but you get the picture. I never did see the value of not dating in early sobriety but I may have to reconsider now. It will get better!

Dominica2

That sucks :-( Don't beat yourself up over it though. Just pick up where you left off. Best wishes.

Dom.

aasharon90

Relationships are filled with so many emotions
of ups and downs that it was suggested early
on in early recovery to concentrate on sobriety
first because it will take all that you have to
learn to stay sober a day at a time.

You may hear often to not date anyone for a
year after you get sober so that you can work
on you first and foremost.

Build a strong solid foundation a step at a time
so that you will be strong to handle relationships
and other things that life has in store for you.

RevivingOphelia

I'm sorry, SH5.

165 days is great though, and I am sure you can do it again.

On the romance note: Who wants to be with a dude who "brags all the time"? :thumbs down:

Try not to be too hard on yourself and use this experience to move forward. That's what I'd try to do. I had to stop beating myself up and just start trying again (and again and again).

good luck and be kind to yourself

Hexipuff

Be kind to yourself. You have all those days you were sober. You now know you can do it.

ZiggyB

I'm so sorry...
I have been wondering about what I am going to do when I start going out on dates again, everyone wants to meet up for a glass of wine, it will be tough. My plan is to avoid it and suggest coffee instead. :-/ But it will be difficult, I think

Get back on the wagon now, it's okay!

flutter

I've done a lot of stupid things in the name of "love" (or lust, or crush, or whatever). You're ok, that's what matters, and I'm glad you're here

Soberween

It was just one day. Get back on the wagon and continue your sobriety. Don't let it turn into a full out binge. Good luck. You can do this.

sugarbear1

(((big hug)))

Just start again.

Do something. Help another person. Clean something. Get one thing done (laundry?).

Mood follows action! Feelings aren't facts. We can learn and move forward!

Love,

Hevyn

Hi summertime! I once drank after 3 yrs. sober - because I was so nervous to go on a date with someone new, & I hadn't dated in ages. So I do get it. In my case, it led me to 7 more years of drinking. That won't happen to you! You came here to tell about it and you're going to move forward. You can still be proud for making it through those 121 days - nothing can take that away.

Onward you go - you can do this. You've learned something from what happened, & you're going to be stronger than ever.

Ash007

I know im just a newcomer here and I dont know half as much as anyone else but as far as I can see this is just a small blip on a long life of sobriety. Plus, you shouldnt think that just coz you've slipped once your back to square one, it will only be a problem if you make it and you have took the right step coming on here. I wish you all the best

MetalChick

Did you meet him online?

Sorry you are feeling sad today, but this doesn't negate in any way your awesome accomplishment of 121 days sober- good for you!

I think Hevyn's post is great. The main thing is that you don't let this turn into more days of drinking or years.

Plus,

At least no drunken crazy stuff happened while you where out with him. I could see me having a few for the"nerves" and then having too much and doing something I would really regret.

I would let myself feel depressed for a little, and then pick back up and go forward, but make a plan for staying sober the next time you have a date. We can only learn from our mistakes.

Also, thanks for the post, I think it helps people to think about what they will do in a similar situation, and be better prepared.

Take care

Good

I always thought relapse was such a harsh word. It made me feel really bad about myself and the progress I had made, like I'd thrown all that hard work away. Often the feelings over a simple word were a good excuse to cont. using. So yes, don't beat yourself up over a relapse you have done an amazing job and that is a great amount of time for starting off. I believe relapse is a major part of our road to recovery, it's how we learn and like anything it is a process. I eventually began calling it an occurrence as it would be using once one day one time and back to being straight. So it didn't feel like I had lost all my hard work prior I knew where I still aimed to be recognized the cons. Of using again accepting it and stopping to move back on the path to recovery. The occurrences became less and less until they were no more. Good luck you can do it you've proven you have desire and drive so keep on keepin on and don't get stuck in a moment for too long.

breath

Pick yourself up, dust of the yuck, take care of yourself and move on. Get deeper into recovery to make use of what you learned and remember....everything is better sober

SummertimeHigh5

OMG!!! So true! I thought the same exact thing as you did. I was like what is the purpose of not dating. I have gotten through 4 months and sobriety can be quite lonely in the beginning... Why not. I cannot say that this site did not tell me in so many words "I told you so". This situation is horrible and throws a persons self esteem in the gutter. I could not figure out why he wanted to meet me so bad and was right down clingy. I should have did what i thought was right and stay home. You live and learn, I guess. I feel that 4 months of sobriety took a lifetime too.

SummertimeHigh5

Yeah. It seems to me that everyone now wants to drink when I drank they always just wanted to go out for coffee. Haha... Wish those coffee drinkers were still around. Good luck to you. I know how you are feeling and trust me from the dumn decision that I made last night. It is not worth it and just makes for an extremely depressing next day.

SummertimeHigh5

Since I have broken my sobriety date and have drank. I do not feel the urge to binge and I am so happy for this. I just ate some ice cream and am drinking ice water. Thank you for your kind words.

SummertimeHigh5

Sweet.. Thank you.

SummertimeHigh5

Yes.. It was an online thing and i did not get crazy or did anything that i wasn't supposed to do. LOL... Just drink when i should not have but i had been talking to this person all of the time and throughout the day. When he told me that he did not want to be put into the "friend zone" (whatever)!!!! I freaked and tried too hard to make things work and blew it.