I Need A Drink!
 

Hello all. I am new here, and I am not sure, but I think I may be near becoming or am already an alcoholic. I'm not sure exactly whats goin on, but something is not right. I have a family history of alcoholism, And since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. a couple months ago, I have been drinking everynight since. It was a toxic relationship to say the least. She was a very angry, and disrespectful woman. But I stayed with her mainly because she was incredibly beautiful, young, and the sex was great. But I had enough of the Emotional abuse. And I had to get out of it. And Now, I totally miss her and would do anything to have her back, even thought I know nothing will change. I have to figure out someway to detach myself from her.. The only thing that helps lately is getting drunk. However I do set myself a limit, and I do stick to it (most of the time). But tonight, I promised myself I would not have a drink, and I have one in front of me... Any suggestions or advice on either of my two problems would be greatly appriciated. Thank you in advance

Dump out the drink and don't do anything about the XGF until you have a clear head!! That's the best I can do!

Welcome to SR!

anesthetize your feelings with alcohol or toxic relationships solves nothing. There is something deeper going on for you. Stop repeating old behaviours that bring you pain and try to live a healthier life. maybe get some help through counselling. There is a better way. If you think your an alcoholic seek help through AA. It worked for me.

Mate, hiding the problem behind the bottle (which did for years) doesnt make the problem go away, it only compounds it.
Try ringing the AA helpline, you will get someone to talk with.
Good luck

Nelco and Marty made good points. Call a hotline or call a trusted friend to get you through this bad time. Many people seem to do very well with AA. It sure is worth a shot. Just don't drink for today...I know easier said than done.

First thing I would do is pour out the drink.

Next thing I would do is go somewhere else. Go to a bookstore, checkout the self-help books. Buy a book, have a coffee.

Enjoy being outside the house, sober, doing something healthy for yourself. No sense sitting around searching for answers in the bottom of a bottle. In the morning, you still have no answers and a hangover!

You need to stop letting her take up space in your head rent free. Easier said than done, I know.

But first things first, step away from the alcohol. There are no answers there.

Keep coming back, we're glad you're here!

Dump out the drink! I'll keep you in my prayers! :angel:

Welcome LandLord,
Drinking borrows from the future, at a great cost, for a moment of comfort. Eventualy, the comfort from drinking ends, and it's all hell. There comes a time for all alcoholics when the drinking is no longer for pleasure...it becomes a compulsive behaviour over which we have no control. The fact that you have a drink in front of you when you decided not to drink this evening might prove that you are powerless over alcohol.

It's progressive, and at your stage, you might be able to quit. It would be a very good idea for you to quit drinking and abstain. The end results of active alcoholism are always:
-Death
-Jail
-Hospitial or Institution

Some hit one of these three destinations before others, but everyone who is an active alcoholic will hit one of them if he/she continues to drink. This has been proven time and time again...ever since man first crushed grapes.

An alcoholic has an allergy to alcohol. The "reaction" is obsessive thinking about drinking, an insane urge for destructive drinking, and compulsive drinking. The only way to combat this is to stay away from the first drink.

Do you want to give up the booze? If so, this website lists many resources at your disposal to help you out.

If I were you, I'd put down the drink. I'd try to forget the x-girlfriend, and try to find something healthy to focus on. Exercise or a hobby might be helpful.
chip

It might help you to try counseling ...thus discovering
why you want to be involved with an abusive woman
and a drinking lifestyle. Neither of which are in
your best interest for a productive pleasant future.

Welcome....:wave:

Thank you all for your caring advice. This site is full of wonderful people!
I am in therapy, but I may need to find a new one, becuase I dont feel he is helping much... But I guess my problem lies more with the ex girlfriend. You guys say to stop thinking about her. Trust me, I try all the time. But my thoughts are consumed with her. I dont want to get back together with her. I want to try and figure out a way to let go.
P.S. I only had the one drink last night... I wanted another, but I stayed away.

Everyone here has given some great advice. I might just add that you should try to stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend's body and concentrate on her mind. From what you've described, that's not a pleasant thing to ponder. And you're right - get a new therapist. The one you've got now doesn't seem to be helping.

From what you've said on here, I wouldn't call AA. You don't sound like an alkie,thus it won't do anything for you.

What you need to do is.....whoops, I almost thought about giving you relationship advice. The LAST place I would recommend going for relationship advice is an AA'er.

I don't use AA in my recovery, but I certainly don't agree that he shouldn't call AA. They're a helpful bunch in times of need, and if the concern is about alcohol dependence/abuse, what a better thing to do than drink!!

I guess I'm just suffering from Heartache. Sorry to take up you guys time...

LandLord ....we have lots of time for you
I'm sorry your in a bad space and I can
tell you this......
There is nothing worth drinking over
alcohol is a trap for everyone

Landlord - my opinion is to stick around if you think you have a drinking problem even if it may be relationship problems. I have experienced similar heartache in the past and once drank myself into oblivion for 3 straight days. When I talked to my boyfriend about it (not the guy I am married to now) he just said "you shouldn't do that." It did nothing to make him feel any different toward me, it just made me feel sad. I felt the familiar longings and all that stuff, and in the end, it made no difference. He felt the same about me whether I drank or not (or rather, didn't feel the way I wanted him to feel). I can look back now and see that was the beginning of my serious drinking and it only got worse from there, even though the relationship was over and he moved on. So my opinion is stick around if you think that the ex problems are causing you to drink. It was the beginning of my downhill slide. My humble opinion only.

KC

Welcome to the Sober Recovery community.
Hopefully, you will allow us to help you stay sober
one day at a time & support you in your recovery.