Outpatient Rehab
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
If I have to read the phrase "real alcoholic" one more time.... 
Will someone please tell me WTF is the point of the real vs. completely fake and wasting our time (in our humble opinion) "debate"?
What purpose does it serve?
Can this be dropped once and for all?
Will someone please tell me WTF is the point of the real vs. completely fake and wasting our time (in our humble opinion) "debate"?
What purpose does it serve?
Can this be dropped once and for all?
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 133
Bam, those labels serve absolutely no purpose in my opinion and that was not the point of this thread. As many have pointed out, people come to this site for support and help...not for others to sit there and analyze how "real" their problem is.
As an aspiring psychologist, i believe anyone who seeks help is entitled to the benefit of the doubt that they deserve and need it.
As an aspiring psychologist, i believe anyone who seeks help is entitled to the benefit of the doubt that they deserve and need it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: HouseSprings,MO.~~USA
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by Rainbowgirl128 
From the responses i conclude i should not waste money on inpatient before i drag myself to AA. I dread it, but i will try to find a meeting this week. This feedback has been amazingly valuable, thank you.
Most people who come out of thee programs will get to an AA mtg and hopefully stay in AA,it is an open no ending kinda thing.
One individual in my home group will celebrate 52yrs in the program this Dec.He keeps comin back at least 1 or 2 mtgs a week
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
RBgirl -- another way to think about the problem is that there are "steady drinkers" and "binge drinkers," and there are specific definitions of each that cannot be blurred by the phrase "real alcoholics." Steady drinkers and binge drinkers are two types of alcoholics with different drinking patterns.
I've come across both types in my rehabs and AA meetings. I was a steady drinker. I could not function without drinking a liter of vodka every evening. I never drank during the day, but would polish of my liter at night -- every single night. My drinking pattern was very regimented.
I've also met people like you in rehab. They can refrain from alcohol for months at a time. But once they have that first drink, they cannot stop. They sometimes have 5-6 day (sometimes weeks) binges of non-stop drinking.
Based on how you've described your drinking patterns, I would put you in the binge drinker category. Once you start, you cannot stop. You may not go on 5 day binges now, but you may progress to that stage if you don't seek help. Remember, alcoholism is progressive.
My point is -- just because you don't need a drink every day does not mean you are not an alcoholic. It simply means you have a unique drinking pattern, which really is not that unique.
Hope this helps. Seek the help you need.
/rhn
I've come across both types in my rehabs and AA meetings. I was a steady drinker. I could not function without drinking a liter of vodka every evening. I never drank during the day, but would polish of my liter at night -- every single night. My drinking pattern was very regimented.
I've also met people like you in rehab. They can refrain from alcohol for months at a time. But once they have that first drink, they cannot stop. They sometimes have 5-6 day (sometimes weeks) binges of non-stop drinking.
Based on how you've described your drinking patterns, I would put you in the binge drinker category. Once you start, you cannot stop. You may not go on 5 day binges now, but you may progress to that stage if you don't seek help. Remember, alcoholism is progressive.
My point is -- just because you don't need a drink every day does not mean you are not an alcoholic. It simply means you have a unique drinking pattern, which really is not that unique.
Hope this helps. Seek the help you need.
/rhn
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 133
agreed! thanks rhnorment. i dont go on five day binges - not even close. i usually cant think about alcohol for at least 3 days after i end up drunk/hungover. but as you said, alcoholism is progressive and i am acutely aware of the fact that it will get worse if i dont stop. thanks!
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
In my 20s I was a binge drinker. I did not drink every day but when I did I usually went overboard. I could not predict whether I would drink a few or blackout. If I really needed to remain somewhat sane - e.g., at the company christmas party with all the bosses around - I could usually do so.
I believe if someone had sat me down and qualified me at this stage - perhaps even when I was still a teenager - I would have qualified as a real alcoholic. Even though I had no duis, jail, etc. But it never occurred to me to quit drinking during this time...why would I? Things were not bad enough yet.
In my 30s I became a daily drinker and had to white knuckle in order to put together a few days of no drinking, which was a tedious and painful process. I drank this way for five years thinking I was not that bad - even though I was blacking out/passing out nightly. My experiments with not drinking for a few days were so successful that I ended up drinking again. The memory of dry heaving, waking up with blood stains, strange bruises, etc., were not strong enough to deter me for very long.
I agree that these definitions are not too helpful, and they really pissed me off in the beginning. For some reason some people get annoyed when they see people coming into A.A. meetings and not doing the full work, staying sober (or not) by just coming to meetings and maybe making coffee once in a while.
The truth is that there is a solution, but the truth also is that many people for one reason or another do not want to do the work. I have a few sponsees right now who are balking. They feel great just not drinking for the time being. Many want to tell these people that they're not real alcoholics. My sponsor tells me that you can't force someone to do anything, and it's not my job. It's in god's hands.
I believe if someone had sat me down and qualified me at this stage - perhaps even when I was still a teenager - I would have qualified as a real alcoholic. Even though I had no duis, jail, etc. But it never occurred to me to quit drinking during this time...why would I? Things were not bad enough yet.
In my 30s I became a daily drinker and had to white knuckle in order to put together a few days of no drinking, which was a tedious and painful process. I drank this way for five years thinking I was not that bad - even though I was blacking out/passing out nightly. My experiments with not drinking for a few days were so successful that I ended up drinking again. The memory of dry heaving, waking up with blood stains, strange bruises, etc., were not strong enough to deter me for very long.
I agree that these definitions are not too helpful, and they really pissed me off in the beginning. For some reason some people get annoyed when they see people coming into A.A. meetings and not doing the full work, staying sober (or not) by just coming to meetings and maybe making coffee once in a while.
The truth is that there is a solution, but the truth also is that many people for one reason or another do not want to do the work. I have a few sponsees right now who are balking. They feel great just not drinking for the time being. Many want to tell these people that they're not real alcoholics. My sponsor tells me that you can't force someone to do anything, and it's not my job. It's in god's hands.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by Rainbowgirl128
oh, i have no problem saying i am an alcoholic. i am also 24 and i have not gotten to the point of being physically addicted to it. yeah, i can stay away from alcohol FOR A PERIOD OF TIME. A day, a week, a month....but i havent been able to stay away from it permanently. and every single time i drink, i am incapable of stopping and i always regret it the next day. my health and my social life and my relationships and my professional reputation has been damaged by alcohol.
i realize that im not as bad as some in the rooms, but i never want to get to the point where i am homeless, jobless, and family-less because of alcohol. i want to stop it now, but i am having trouble stopping permanently on my own. hence why ive reachd out for help. it is people like pinkcuda that make me terrified to go into AA. thanks for that.
i realize that im not as bad as some in the rooms, but i never want to get to the point where i am homeless, jobless, and family-less because of alcohol. i want to stop it now, but i am having trouble stopping permanently on my own. hence why ive reachd out for help. it is people like pinkcuda that make me terrified to go into AA. thanks for that.
Rainbow, I can much relate to what you are saying. I can stay away from alcohol for a period of time, usually no more than a month. But when I drink, there is no stopping. The only time I stop is if I run out of alcohol or pass out.
I was court mandated to attend an inpatient rehab. I had looked into rehab several times before and couldnt find a place I could afford, but I was able to this time. I was one of the few alcoholics in my treatment center. Most of the fellow patients were addicts and told me I didn't have a problem, I couldn't be an alcoholic. After sharing a few stories of nights out drinking, most agreed I might have a problem. Its not really up to them though, I KNOW I have a problem and thats what matters. I'm currently in an outpatient group which is an extentsion of my inpatient.
The inpatient program I was in was crap, but I did manage to get something out of it. For me, I needed those 30 days out of society to be able to just come to grips with my problems and learn new coping skills.
I don't get much out of outpatient. 3/4s of the people in my group are there b/c they are court ordered, they don't want to be there, and they dont think they have a problem. Most nights I leave feeling worse than I did. But I'm continuing to go so I can get my certificate of completion (though for me I know recovery is never really "complete"
I don't know about the AAs where you live, but I was welcomed with open arms into mine. In my town we have a few treatment centers and several halfway houses, which are usually filled with young people. Of course there are a few people in the rooms that don't thnk young people are "real alcoholics", but most in the rooms are thrilled to see young people come in before they reach bottom.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by Rainbowgirl128
Bam, those labels serve absolutely no purpose in my opinion and that was not the point of this thread. As many have pointed out, people come to this site for support and help...not for others to sit there and analyze how "real" their problem is.
As an aspiring psychologist, i believe anyone who seeks help is entitled to the benefit of the doubt that they deserve and need it.
As an aspiring psychologist, i believe anyone who seeks help is entitled to the benefit of the doubt that they deserve and need it.
Yeah, I know that wasn't your intent at all and it's not your fault. I get frustrated that this topic always comes out of the woodworks no matter how a particular thread begins. I worry about the newcomers reading this and convincing themselves that they don't have a problem.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
