is there such thing as a functioning alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Originally Posted by liquidfireangel 
if you've never gotten a dui and you can keep a job and assuming that you're more or less happy with your life... why quit drinking? as long as we're not hurting anyone shouldnt we be able to do the things we want to do?
Are you ok with being somewhat happy with your life? And you are hurting someone, your hurting yourself. Alcohol will KILL you. If you don't stop, your going to die. I mean it's that simple...do you want to live or die? I never got a DUI, went to jail, or anything like that but I started drinking at 13...I drank all through college, hurting people with my actions and words along the way, kept drinking through all my jobs, reaking, YES other people can smell it on our breath and skin no matter how many times you shower or brush your teeth. Haven't you ever smelt it on your own breath the next day? Others can too....I think with you, it just kills me that you have such a chance to change things, to not live the lives that most of us had. Things aren't that bad now and I am sure you feel pretty good but trust me it doesn't last forever. It messes with your brain, your health, it ages you beyond your years, it will affect those around you....There are tons of people who would kill for the chance to go back and do it over again knowing what we know now. I know I would..I wouldn't have been such a cocky girl who thought I knew it all, cause I really thought I did...I thought exactly like you. I even went to AA in college because at that time we didn't have internet boards...but I never went back. I often think back to that day when I was 18 and KNEW I had a problem then and if I would have stuck to getting help how my life would have been so different. I hope you at least give it 30 days....see if you can do it. You have got tons of support here...
~Jade
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi again LFA,
Here is some interesting reading. Sorry it's a bit long.
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time.
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!
Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information."
That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
All paragraphs above are selected quotes from the First Edition of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous which I thought might be helpful.
Here is some interesting reading. Sorry it's a bit long.
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time.
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!
Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information."
That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
All paragraphs above are selected quotes from the First Edition of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous which I thought might be helpful.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
My final point to LFA, go ahead and carry on drinking, I know when I was your age 5 years ago, I wouldn't have even considered giving up the booze come hell or highwater(or whatever the saying is lol). I remember all the major dates so clearly, this time 5 years ago I was collecting my A-level results, then played a gig in my band on the night and then went to a 3day music festival over the weekend. Of course I was getting hammered and smoking plenty of weed withit aswell , along with my best mate and lots of others too.
I used to think I was invincible and wonder what all the fuss about heavy drinking/drug use was about. However it will wreck your mind, and pretty quickly, it's all part of the progressiveness of alcoholism, you will get to the stage where drink is your only friend and you can't see a way out - like I said it wrecks your mind.
It happened quickly to me due to the amounts and length of my binging behaviour, I reached the final point 5 years later, after thinking like you at age 18, where I could see that I would likely not see 24/25 due to the severity of what it was doing to my mind coming down off binges and how every ounce of hope/positivity/potential that I once had in life had been sucked out and I didn't know how to cope with this feeling other than to get hammered again for some temporary relief.
However you probably won't listen to this so go ahead and continue drinking but don't think that your brain is somehow magically different to everyone else's on this planet, it will get you and it will F*ck you up and take you places of loneliness that you didn't know existed. Sounds fun eh?
I used to think I was invincible and wonder what all the fuss about heavy drinking/drug use was about. However it will wreck your mind, and pretty quickly, it's all part of the progressiveness of alcoholism, you will get to the stage where drink is your only friend and you can't see a way out - like I said it wrecks your mind.
It happened quickly to me due to the amounts and length of my binging behaviour, I reached the final point 5 years later, after thinking like you at age 18, where I could see that I would likely not see 24/25 due to the severity of what it was doing to my mind coming down off binges and how every ounce of hope/positivity/potential that I once had in life had been sucked out and I didn't know how to cope with this feeling other than to get hammered again for some temporary relief.
However you probably won't listen to this so go ahead and continue drinking but don't think that your brain is somehow magically different to everyone else's on this planet, it will get you and it will F*ck you up and take you places of loneliness that you didn't know existed. Sounds fun eh?
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 116
I've got 3 years sober. When i was 18 I could drink huge amounts without getting these terrible hangovers but by 24 I'd take longer to recover, sometimes 2 days.
Plus i started getting blackouts frequently even i didn't drink a lot, my behavior started getting weirder and more out of control. The physical damage was something i could live with but it was more the emotional and mental damage , the relationships that were strained, etc
The thing is early on in your drinking career it is rather easier to control your drinking but as years go by you lose that control, especially if your'e alcoholic.
Plus i started getting blackouts frequently even i didn't drink a lot, my behavior started getting weirder and more out of control. The physical damage was something i could live with but it was more the emotional and mental damage , the relationships that were strained, etc
The thing is early on in your drinking career it is rather easier to control your drinking but as years go by you lose that control, especially if your'e alcoholic.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Originally Posted by mumbai78
I've got 3 years sober. When i was 18 I could drink huge amounts without getting these terrible hangovers but by 24 I'd take longer to recover, sometimes 2 days.
Plus i started getting blackouts frequently even i didn't drink a lot, my behavior started getting weirder and more out of control. The physical damage was something i could live with but it was more the emotional and mental damage , the relationships that were strained, etc
The thing is early on in your drinking career it is rather easier to control your drinking but as years go by you lose that control, especially if your'e alcoholic.
Plus i started getting blackouts frequently even i didn't drink a lot, my behavior started getting weirder and more out of control. The physical damage was something i could live with but it was more the emotional and mental damage , the relationships that were strained, etc
The thing is early on in your drinking career it is rather easier to control your drinking but as years go by you lose that control, especially if your'e alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 271
Originally Posted by liquidfireangel
if you've never gotten a dui and you can keep a job and assuming that you're more or less happy with your life... why quit drinking? as long as we're not hurting anyone shouldnt we be able to do the things we want to do?
Of course, you should be able to do what you want. But, if you truly believe that you are hurting no one, you've adopted blinders. Do what you want though. If it gets bad enough, the court will stop you or your body will stop or you will become so miserable that you will seek a way to stop. You didn't find your way to SR because you're overflowing with the joy of life.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,941
functioning is a subjective term. It seemed to me to be more along the lines of what is acceptable. Taking care of business all the wile hung over or drunk sure can be done....or as the drinking person sees it...can be well done. Yet in the over all observable evaluational by loving others, friends, employers and all other non-alcoholically inclined...your life may be seen as a great mess. A mess hidden by drinking constantly. After all from a drinking perspective everything can look just super duper.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: witness protection program
Posts: 378
I know plenty of guys who you could say are functioning alcoholics/addicts. They all work in trades or the drilling rigs and pull in $100K/year but have nothing to show for it except a diesel truck that the bank owns. Work very hard, play very hard. But it all catches up eventually, just some sooner than others.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 13
Hey all, I'm new here.
To the original poster: I was in a similar situation as you. I came from a background of VERY HEAVY marijuana use along with a small amount of other drugs, mainly pills (oxycontin, valium, xanax, etc.) and started to mix these drugs with alcohol in high school. Today, at 25 years of age, I've stopped doing drugs besides alcohol and a small amount of pot, which consumes at least half of my daily schedule.
I'm currently in a University majoring in Nutrition (what an oxymoron eh, an aspiring dietician who's an alcoholic. Kinda like a lung surgeon who smokes two packs a day) and am averaging a 3.8 GPA. I force myself to exercise daily, lift weights, and try to eat right, but I feel like that all goes down the drain when night time comes and I crack open that first beer. I drink myself into oblivion, pass out, then wake up the next day to go to get my stuff done in college. That's my life. While I might look trim, muscular, and healthy on the outside, I know that I am dying on the inside. I can actually feel it. In fact, I have a doctor's appointment in a few days because my liver is whacked out. Not only that, I'm combating depression issues and I haven't made any new friends in years because all I do is study and drink.
So, to answer your question, there is such thing as a functioning alcoholic; you CAN limp through life being a drunk. I'm living proof... so far anyway. But is it worth it? Just read the advice the other people are giving you in this thread, especially posts #9, 11, 18, 21, 26... hell, read all of them, and then read it again. It should give you a new perspective on your situation.
You're only 18 my friend, you've got too much ahead of you. Get help before the problem cascades upon itself. You'll thank yourself in the end.
To the original poster: I was in a similar situation as you. I came from a background of VERY HEAVY marijuana use along with a small amount of other drugs, mainly pills (oxycontin, valium, xanax, etc.) and started to mix these drugs with alcohol in high school. Today, at 25 years of age, I've stopped doing drugs besides alcohol and a small amount of pot, which consumes at least half of my daily schedule.
I'm currently in a University majoring in Nutrition (what an oxymoron eh, an aspiring dietician who's an alcoholic. Kinda like a lung surgeon who smokes two packs a day) and am averaging a 3.8 GPA. I force myself to exercise daily, lift weights, and try to eat right, but I feel like that all goes down the drain when night time comes and I crack open that first beer. I drink myself into oblivion, pass out, then wake up the next day to go to get my stuff done in college. That's my life. While I might look trim, muscular, and healthy on the outside, I know that I am dying on the inside. I can actually feel it. In fact, I have a doctor's appointment in a few days because my liver is whacked out. Not only that, I'm combating depression issues and I haven't made any new friends in years because all I do is study and drink.
So, to answer your question, there is such thing as a functioning alcoholic; you CAN limp through life being a drunk. I'm living proof... so far anyway. But is it worth it? Just read the advice the other people are giving you in this thread, especially posts #9, 11, 18, 21, 26... hell, read all of them, and then read it again. It should give you a new perspective on your situation.
You're only 18 my friend, you've got too much ahead of you. Get help before the problem cascades upon itself. You'll thank yourself in the end.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Wow, the initial post made me so sad. That was ME from the age of 18 to 39!
I was functional, successful even. I have a great family, job, house, husband, kids, pets, etc. and I was so lonely and so emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. That is whjat really got me. One night as I was trying to not stumble or slur my words or give my husband a clue that I was trashed, it occurred to me that I spent most of my time trying to appear normal and that I worked very hard to keep appearances up that I was not progressing the way I knew I was capable of.
So here I am, sober 16 months and I am SO much happier and at peace. I have a better relationship with my husband and my kids than I have ever had before. I just can not begin to tell you all that has improved about my life when I did not even realize there was anything wrong. I am glad I was ready. I wish it hadn't taken so long but that is what I get for being "functional"
I wish you the very best of luck. As good as your life is today, it could be 1000x better with some recovery.
I was functional, successful even. I have a great family, job, house, husband, kids, pets, etc. and I was so lonely and so emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. That is whjat really got me. One night as I was trying to not stumble or slur my words or give my husband a clue that I was trashed, it occurred to me that I spent most of my time trying to appear normal and that I worked very hard to keep appearances up that I was not progressing the way I knew I was capable of.
So here I am, sober 16 months and I am SO much happier and at peace. I have a better relationship with my husband and my kids than I have ever had before. I just can not begin to tell you all that has improved about my life when I did not even realize there was anything wrong. I am glad I was ready. I wish it hadn't taken so long but that is what I get for being "functional"
I wish you the very best of luck. As good as your life is today, it could be 1000x better with some recovery.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
cwdsi.....
Thanks for sharing with us.
Hope all goes well at your doctors. You might want to ask
about a medically supervised de tox while you are there.
Be both sober and safe.
Welcome to our recovery community
Thanks for sharing with us.
Hope all goes well at your doctors. You might want to ask
about a medically supervised de tox while you are there.
Be both sober and safe.
Welcome to our recovery community
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