justanothrdrunk

How do you define "life?" How do you define "productive?"

If all that having a productive life means to you is that you're productive in a financial sense - then sure, an alcoholic can be productive.

Active alcoholics can show up for work (or classes), pay bills on time, and be physically present. And if that's all that being a human being means to you...

What about managing one's emotions? What about meaningful relationships with other people. What about being useful to others? What about a healthy sense of self? What about all those other things about humanity that make us truly human?

Those are the things that the alcoholic truly neglects and often neglects first. It's too bad that most alcoholics don't see the neglect of those things as important. All alcoholics care about are those tangible things that can easily be measured on paper. Job, house, no trouble with the law, no credit trouble...

So - ask yourself - are you living a truly productive life, or are you just existing?

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for that post justanothrdrunk, I have never heard it quite put like that before, so thankyou and I can relate whole-heartably to what you are saying.

sphalerite

This made me chuckle.
Funny, I thought the same thing for a long time. Thing is, you THINK a shower and brushing your teeth does wonders because you cannot smell the alcohol that is seeping out of your pores, on your breath. Everyone else can.

Try putting half of a raw peeled onion in your shirt pocket, that would work better than a shower and mouthwash to disguise the smell....

LOL!

Stick around, and read. The people here are wise, and know what they speak of.

bananagrrrl

Perfume doesn't work either.

I wonder why we can't smell the alcohol as others can?

I am so relieved I don't have to work about stinking these days.

NEOMARXIST

It's really funny, since I have been sober (6 weeks today) I find that I am really sensitive to be able to smell alcohol on people's breath, like after they have only had 2 pint's of beer, I can detect it instantly as soon as they walk into a room.

I never used to notice the smell of booze on people and used to wonder how the hell people would say to me as soon as I walked into the room that I reeked of booze even though I had showered/mouthwashed etc. Now I know I must have stunk of booze many, many times but people just didn't say anything to me as it was such a regular occurence.

I am amazed at how sobriety is opening my eyes in may ways.

sfgirl

There most definitely is such a thing as a functional alcoholic. I graduated from high school in the top 10% of my class. I went to an Ivy League University, drank loads every night and sometimes during the day, and graduated with a great GPA. I was still an alcoholic. I didn't really wait until the external consequences started happening to get sober; I did, however, wait longer than I wish I now should have. I didn't really think it was a problem, probably because I thought I was so functioning.

The thing that I found is that way before alcohol will tear apart your outside life it will tear apart your inner life and your mind. It will make you lose your drive which sucks. It will make you feel aimless and lost and ALONE. I always felt like I had a hole inside of me that had always been there and was never going away. I thought that was something else— like some existential angst—*nope it was alcoholism. And if I had known that getting sober and recovered would cure that I would have done it long before.

You are 18. That is so young which makes it so amazingly worth it. I would do it now. You won't regret it. I know a 19 year old guy who is sober and he loves it so much he is studying to be a drug and alcohol counselor so he can reach out to other youth and get them sober. He is cool. Your life will get better.

DrunkBull

Yes

I had to achieve sobriety before finding ou what life was all about.
Some good,some not so good.

Some bad,some really bad and some not so bad after all.

CarolD

Hi again....
I appreciate you took the time to read my post on
your other thread on the progression of alcoholism.
Thank you

Here is a link for your consideration and I sure
hope it will assist you in finding your answers.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Take care

liquidfireangel

are you saying that the smell of alcohol is seeping out of my skin? ive never noticed this from me or anyone else.. thats ******* disgusting

pugluver

I wonder?? I am new here so this may sound like a stupid statement......
the more I read the more I question my drinking. Am I an Alcoholic? I have been drinking for about 20 years, almost 2 bottles of wine at night. I do black out everynight. I never got a dui and have always held down jobs...any thoughts?

Mark75

Blacking out every night is a big red flag!!!

Welcome to SR!! Please consider starting a new thread and introduce yourself and ask all the questions you want

Mark

CarolD

Glad you are here with us pugluver ....

Please read the link I just added on this thread
for information.

Welcome to our recovery community

liquidfireangel

if you've never gotten a dui and you can keep a job and assuming that you're more or less happy with your life... why quit drinking? as long as we're not hurting anyone shouldnt we be able to do the things we want to do?

smacked

You're right, it is disgusting.

I still remember after I quit drinking, and I went to the gym the Tuesday after a 3 day holiday weekend, I think Memorial day.. and the entire gym smelled like the bottom of a bottle. I had to leave before I puked. The alcohol seeping out of the skin of people working out was unbearable, and yes, ******* disgusting.

Alcohol is a toxin. It's poison to your body. You body works VERY hard to break it down and get rid of it. It comes out of your body in more ways than you even want to know. Your body tries to keep you healthy despite trying to actively and continuously kill it. That only lasts so long.. and the alcohol wins. Chronic, progressive, eventually fatal.

Good news is, that's all a choice!

hendershot

Welcome. I just wanted to say at 18 I was right where you were at in terms of two years getting drunk everyday--good grades in highschool, no real consequences or anything. I couldn't keep up though. Eventually I started to fall off in certain critical life areas, as I needed to drink more and more and I cared less and less about other stuff. I tend to think about "functional alcoholics" as middle-aged hard working or whatever. I think when you get started everyday at 16ish, like us, the progressiveness kicks our butts and we can't maintain that functionality too long. Even if you can go ten, twenty years or something, it's a difficult way to live. The social isolation grew exponentially for me too. I was lucky I found recovery at 24 and it's sticking for now. There is no reason to wait until the crap hits the fan in some form or another. You are on here which speaks vollume. Good luck.

sfgirl

Is that your puppy? You will be a better mom.

You can do anything you want to do, of course. I guess the question is why did you come here (SR) if everything internally and externally is fine? You must have some sort of inkling of a problem or something amiss. Again, my experience was while I could keep up appearances, my insides were a mess. I also would cycle in and out of "happy times." There were times where I was in better moods but always something was missing. I felt a longing. I didn't get it. I couldn't stand it. I didn't know true happiness. I didn't truly know myself. Hell, I thought I did but I knew so little about who I was. I was so disconnected.

You could quit for your health. Alcohol wreaks havoc on your body. It really wreaks havoc on your brain— that to me has been the most apparent thing in recovery how much better my mind has gotten, and again I didn't think it was all that bad. Alcohol contributes to 60 different diseases. It makes you bloated. It disrupts sleep. It causes anxiety and depression. Those are good reasons to.

But you have total agency here. Of course, you can do what you want to do.

Dee74

I never got a DUI, never got arrested, never lost a job (although I had to give up working cos drinking helped to wreck my health) ...but yeah I was an alcoholic...although I'd never have admitted that, even though I drank all day.

It was absolutely a life of no responsibility, I wasn't hurting anyone but myself, I was totally free to do whatever I wanted - and mostly I just wanted to die.

There's an emptiness, a greyness, a bleakness you get when all you do is drink or use.

I really hope you never experience that Sara.
Be careful what you wish for, LFA

D

Rad44

If you choose to destroy yourself there is not much anybody can do to stop you. However whatever "benefits" you perceive from Alcohol will eventually be overwhelmed by the Consequences Tenfold. Who wants to endure that suffering if they don't have to?

El Gato

I functioned right up to the point where I couldn't function. The line is blurry at best.

AlkalikeH

I am a showering freak. Never spent more than 8 hours without one.

Last year i was laying in bed with a beautiful girl right beside me.
She reached for a kiss and as she laid her head to my chest she said:

"You smell like a distillery"

And she was not talking about my breath.