savexourxship

Im not in AA. I am in an intensive outpatient meeting group. We meet three nights a week and everything is confidential. So after 5 meetings, someone I knew in the past shows up. I knew the guy because I used to ride my motorcycle with him, I was never really friends with him. He was just part of the group on occasion. Well he happens to know a few of my close friends and fellow coworkers. Well, he exposed information that I spoke about within the group. He spoke to co-workers and friends. Exposing information that only 3 people knew of. Myself, my counselor and my Doctor. I made a complaint at the facility and they assured me it would never happen again. They also told me that I now have the option to sue, stating it was against federal law to reveal information from a meeting. This only happened two days ago. What should I do.???

Not to mention I've lost all confidence in group meetings. And honestly, it hurts, because I enjoyed them and was making significant progress.

Im lost...

NewBeginning010

Sorry to hear what happened savexourxship. I am still new to recovery & wanted to offer my support. I would hope that your old acquaintance is no longer allowed to your meetings & that you might be able to pick up where you left off since you enjoyed the group.

I am sure others with more knowledge on this will be along soon.

Take Care,

NB

debs

I'd seriously consider suing.

If he did it to you, he's probably likely to do it to someone else...

And as far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely no excuse for that behavior.

killingmesmalls

That's always been a fear of mine too. That's awful - you'd think they would have a confidentially conflict and put him in another group right off the bat. Sorry you are going through this. Once you stop using you really learn who your friends are.

smacked

I don't know what suing or never attending a group again would do to benefit you, or your recovery.

Focus on you, your recovery.. your sobriety, move forward. There's lots of bad people out there.

mistycshore

They are on one hand assuring you that it will never happen again - and they will see to it, and on the other hand telling you that you have grounds to sue? Well then, sue the facility. Since they claim to have the ability to prevent such unfortunate disclosures, they are claiming responsibility for preventing them. They no doubt have more assets than the guy who talked out of turn too.

In reality, it is against federal law for the facility to reveal information - the participants in the program are not bound by confidentiality laws. If they were, the matter would pursued in a federal court . . . think about it.

In reality, the facility cannot prevent that stuff and neither can you. That's the whole thing about trusting . . . it involves trust, not absolute guarantees. In reality, that facility is not licensed to practice law, so I'm very much surprised that they would issue legal advice. In reality, probably an idiot counselor said something idiotic, and you might be able to pursue charges against that person since that person was practicing law without a license. In reality, it's probably better just to forget the whole mess and move forward. Talk about what happened in that very group. You'll find lots of support and will likely feel much better about the whole thing.

Mark75

Sue him??? Can you afford a lawyer? Unless this guy is way rich and you were seriously harmed (damages)... Your lawyer's fees will be out of pocket... yours...

Smacked was more on the money...

You got enough work to do in early recovery to poison your psyche with resentment... If you need some type of justice... speak to him directly....

Mark

debs

Yeah, ya know..

I think I'll eat my words...

I was just empathizing with you so much and got angry when I read your post, but I reckon fighting something like this is probably just fruitless...

Your recovery is what's important.

I'm still really sorry that happened to you, though.

NEOMARXIST

Whatever happens, don't let this person make you lose your sobriety over him. He would be the winner then.

Rowan

I've been a part of intensive outpatient groups, and confidentiality is so important - and I had a terrific doctor/facilitator who emphasized at the beginning and end of each session that the group needed to be a safe place for all of us. So, while my own experience has been positive, I understand that the rules are only as good as those who follow them.

I'm sorry that this person chose to gossip, and, unless it results in losing your job or some other significant event, I would just move on. I would, however, not participate in any groups where the offender was present.

CarolD

I have no experience dealing with treatment centers or IOP's.
I am sorry you had this happen....

At my 2nd AA meeting....I knew 6 people
3 customers and 3 ex lovers.
So much for my personal anonymity....

I drank publically and excessively ...without concern
I refuse to be upset about my successful recovery.

All my best

tommyk

Sorry to hear of this.

Could be a test of your resolve... work through it.

This may be of no help.. but when I did my 4th step I was ULTRA-SECRET about revealing anything. Now... years later... anyone can read it, I'm not that person anymore. My past is just that, nothing more, nothing less.

You're not the person you used to be either. Try to move on.

shaun00

happen to me a few years ago.

i was silly enough to speak of my marriage problems and it got back to my wife.

i was only a few months sober...if it wasnt for my sponsor.. someone was gonna pay

he said something ive never forgot......."you put a bunch of newly sober drunks in a room and you expect them to behave" !!!!!!...get real soft lad.

lol..lol..very true......i confine personal problems to a very select trusted few these days.

savexourxship

I never planned on taking any serious action such as suing. I was just surprised that the doctor mentioned it and thought I'd bring it up here. I didn't attend my meeting last night because I was so pissed off. I went to the store and bought two 40's. I came home and took one sip and poured them both down the drain. Id like to continue working with the same group, minus the untrustworthy member. But its going to be awkward as hell, and I don't think I'll be as open now as I was in the past.

I spoke to the people that he blabbed too. I told them how personal of an experience all this has been, and they all understood. I firmly asked them to keep the information to themselves, and they agreed. Only thing is, if that sensitive information gets to work I think I could get in a lot of trouble.

Rant = Over

Thanks for being here guys.

NEOMARXIST

I don't know what 40's are, must be an American drink? But good one for pouring them down the sink, they ain't gonna change nothing and what has been done will still be done, only you will have lost some of your credibility when talking to people who that dude has blabbed to as you have started drinking again.

It is what it is and what will be will be. Just don't drink over it...

baldjim

great post smacked and of course you are 100% right

the only important thing in the long term is stopping drinking

i never made a secret of my drinking apart from my doctor who i lied to ???
every one else i just told the truth ,i never thought to lie about it ??

but for this guy to betray the trust is dispicable and if he is not banned he will spill the beans on others too

well done for stopping drinking

baldjim

i can see that it might be best not to tell your boss that you drink at work

i have never lied about my drinking or anything really

my way of thinking is i would rather people dislike me for what i am than like me for what i'm not

why would people lie about their drinking i just dont get it ???

if any of you guys asked me anything about myself i would give you a straight answer about anything

i can admit what what i am and i'm trying to change what i'm not what is the point of living i lie ??

i of course realise this thread could explode in my face but just wondering

savexourxship

I know exactly what you mean. And just for the record, I never actually drank at work. Did I report for duty hung over as hell? Yes! Hahah. Well im still a young guy, im only 22. From what Ive seen of this world, sometimes you have to lie. This world is so judgmental, sometimes you really do have to wear a mask in order to get through things. The only reason I dont want anyone at work to know is because I work for a police department. As a employee of this department I am obligated to conduct myself in a professional matter at all times. The big issue that I let out at my group is that I crashed my motorcycle while I was intoxicated, and that was my awakening. Well this guy goes and TELLS PEOPLE I WORK WITH! Thank the damn lord I dont believe in that I didn't get charged with DUI. Apparently in Mass you have to prove that the alcohol is what caused the accident. According to my lawyer thats nearly impossible to prove in my case, being on a motorcycle theres a zillion factors that could have caused me to lose control. And for the record, a bald tire and sand caused that accident, not vodka. But anyway, I drank a 12 pack a day for about 2 years. As of 6/29/09 I've only drank 4 times, and each time was in moderation, only a few beers. And I realize that addiction is a life long disease with no cure. But, it is fact that there is a small percentage of addicts that can use in moderation after recovery. Maybe Im one, but at the moment im still focused on sobriety.

"I'd rather than proud I am, rather than desperately trying to be something I'm not"

Thanks for the advice all!

Cheers to another day of sobriety

Boleo

AA is called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. In the early days people knew for a fact that they might be discriminated against if their identity was revealed.

For certain professions this is still true today.

sfgirl

The guy who broke confidentiality should have to suffer consequences. He should not be allowed to participate in that group. To me that seems not only the best for you, but also appropriate procedure for the whole facility and for him. If the boundaries aren't enforced what is their purpose? I think suing is taking the fight in the wrong direction but if everything is still the same (the guy is still in any of your groups I would certainly be firm with administration of the treatment center)

As for the job thing, I can't imagine you are the only person on your police force with substance abuse issues. Also, if you are part of a union, I would imagine that there is probably some sort of support network or something in place for this kind of thing. (I really have no idea what I am talking about— a shot in the dark) I think it is worth poking around a bit perhaps to at least have an older mentor who shares recovery and your profession.