Ignition Interlock for my husband
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 196
Ignition Interlock for my husband
My husband's DUI went through this past September. And he has had ignition interlock on his car since September. I feel like he has had the best sobriety since he has had ignition interlock.
He is kinda frustrated that the ignition interlock aborts. This past Saturday, while we were driving to a friend's party, it aborted around 11:30am, so he wacked it against the wheel--then he said he was sorry, and then it aborted again--uh oh--the car started going off--and so he pulled over to the side--at first--I was like thinking maybe he failed, but he kept blowing into the device, and sure enough, it kept aborting. Anyway, he called the company, the guy was about to the spot on the side of the road where we are--he blows into the device and it passes. So we call the company and let them know we no longer need for the guy to come out and switch out the device.
So we are about to my friend's party, and he has to blow into the device, and it aborts, and then it aborts again-OH NO--the car starts going off--we have to pull over to the side and turn off the car. Luckily, he passed after a third try, and we got to the party. We had a really good day--my husband stayed busy with playing croquet. And we were going to go get something for dinner at 5:00pm and then come back for the rest of the party--it kept aborting, and it never passed. He called the company again--we were not in the same service area--but actually further away in someone else's territory who could not get to us for hours. People started leaving the party, and finally we had to admit to the hosts that we could not get the car to start because the ignition interlock was not working, and we were still waiting for the guy to get to us. They were really nice to us and offered to let us stay in their guestroom if we really needed to. Luckily the guy got there at 11:00pm. He changed out the ignition interlock and it passed, and my husband was able to start the car and drive back to Seattle. It was a crazy day.
Anyway, my husband keeps saying that he is getting his ignition taken off in a month, and he is so happy. For me, that ignition interlock has been complete bliss in my life--I seen the best sobriety from him, and I feel more safe in the car. Yes, I know it is a little bit of a hassle if it does not work correctly, but it is not always easy to tell beforehand if he was drinking or not--when this device passed I knew, and I was able to just trust him again.
I am just worried what will happen when the ignition interlock comes off the car. Do you think he will be okay to continue his sobriety? Deep down, I just want him to keep it on. He just wants to save money at this point. Do you think I should trust that he can continue his sobriety without the device?
He is kinda frustrated that the ignition interlock aborts. This past Saturday, while we were driving to a friend's party, it aborted around 11:30am, so he wacked it against the wheel--then he said he was sorry, and then it aborted again--uh oh--the car started going off--and so he pulled over to the side--at first--I was like thinking maybe he failed, but he kept blowing into the device, and sure enough, it kept aborting. Anyway, he called the company, the guy was about to the spot on the side of the road where we are--he blows into the device and it passes. So we call the company and let them know we no longer need for the guy to come out and switch out the device.
So we are about to my friend's party, and he has to blow into the device, and it aborts, and then it aborts again-OH NO--the car starts going off--we have to pull over to the side and turn off the car. Luckily, he passed after a third try, and we got to the party. We had a really good day--my husband stayed busy with playing croquet. And we were going to go get something for dinner at 5:00pm and then come back for the rest of the party--it kept aborting, and it never passed. He called the company again--we were not in the same service area--but actually further away in someone else's territory who could not get to us for hours. People started leaving the party, and finally we had to admit to the hosts that we could not get the car to start because the ignition interlock was not working, and we were still waiting for the guy to get to us. They were really nice to us and offered to let us stay in their guestroom if we really needed to. Luckily the guy got there at 11:00pm. He changed out the ignition interlock and it passed, and my husband was able to start the car and drive back to Seattle. It was a crazy day.
Anyway, my husband keeps saying that he is getting his ignition taken off in a month, and he is so happy. For me, that ignition interlock has been complete bliss in my life--I seen the best sobriety from him, and I feel more safe in the car. Yes, I know it is a little bit of a hassle if it does not work correctly, but it is not always easy to tell beforehand if he was drinking or not--when this device passed I knew, and I was able to just trust him again.
I am just worried what will happen when the ignition interlock comes off the car. Do you think he will be okay to continue his sobriety? Deep down, I just want him to keep it on. He just wants to save money at this point. Do you think I should trust that he can continue his sobriety without the device?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
This is about you feeling more comfortable, not about his sobriety/recovery. Lots of akies are locked up and start drinking as soon as they get out. The interlock device is just a law enforcement tool, just not as severe as being locked up in jail.
Is he attending AA or any other treatment? This would have a not more to do with his sobriety than having an interlock device IMHO.
Is he attending AA or any other treatment? This would have a not more to do with his sobriety than having an interlock device IMHO.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chepstow
Posts: 359
I agree this interlock device is just a law enforcement tool. If your husband wants to stop drinking he must seek help, and from my own experience as an alcoholic, AA was the only answer I found. Not only has it stopped my drinking, it's transformed my family life.
In the mean time, have you thought of attending Al-non which is the sister fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous? I've heard it said that when a spouse starts attending Al-non that it's the death bell for their alcoholics drinking days.
Here's a link to Al-non;
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
It's there I think you'll get the support and information you really need, and please keep an open mind about the organisation; I have heard great things about it.
Regards and sympathies,
Tosh
In the mean time, have you thought of attending Al-non which is the sister fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous? I've heard it said that when a spouse starts attending Al-non that it's the death bell for their alcoholics drinking days.
Here's a link to Al-non;
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
It's there I think you'll get the support and information you really need, and please keep an open mind about the organisation; I have heard great things about it.
Regards and sympathies,
Tosh
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: HouseSprings,MO.~~USA
Posts: 32
I had one of these on my truck for 2yrs.
It did not stop me from drinking,only had to do the controlled drinking thing during the week.About 20 min. from home I would stop get a pint of vodka and 2- 24oz. beers.Blow,wait 5 min.Blow again,then I'd slam down the vodka and beers getting home before I had to Blow again.
Then came Friday and the weekend
Stop and load up for the weekend,non-stop drinking till about 2pm Sunday afternoon.That was my cut off time so I could be clean enough to blow by 7am Monday morning to get to work. Over and Over,not counting the days I laid out of work sick?-Too drunk to blow in the Morning
I set plan,this alcoholic liked set plans(my own).
Insane-Yes.
Then I hit my rock bottom and fially found and applied AA in my life.
Sane? Today_ Yes.
It did not stop me from drinking,only had to do the controlled drinking thing during the week.About 20 min. from home I would stop get a pint of vodka and 2- 24oz. beers.Blow,wait 5 min.Blow again,then I'd slam down the vodka and beers getting home before I had to Blow again.
Then came Friday and the weekend
Stop and load up for the weekend,non-stop drinking till about 2pm Sunday afternoon.That was my cut off time so I could be clean enough to blow by 7am Monday morning to get to work. Over and Over,not counting the days I laid out of work sick?-Too drunk to blow in the Morning
I set plan,this alcoholic liked set plans(my own).
Insane-Yes.
Then I hit my rock bottom and fially found and applied AA in my life.
Sane? Today_ Yes.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
So is he not drinking because of the interlock? Or is he committed to a life of sobriety and getting the help he needs to stay sober and learn how to live..
Sorry but it almost sounds akin to people with relationships w/ alcoholics that keep a breathalyzer around to make sure they're sober.
Does he WANT to be sober? Stay sober? forever? Are you OK not trusting your own husband and sometimes feeling unsafe in the car with him?
Other than the interlock, how has he grown in his recovery to show you his committment to sobriety long term? Or has he...
Sorry but it almost sounds akin to people with relationships w/ alcoholics that keep a breathalyzer around to make sure they're sober.
Does he WANT to be sober? Stay sober? forever? Are you OK not trusting your own husband and sometimes feeling unsafe in the car with him?
Other than the interlock, how has he grown in his recovery to show you his committment to sobriety long term? Or has he...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
If the interlock is the only thing that's keeping your husband from drinking, I'd hazard a guess that once that impedement is removed, he's likely to start again. Especially since he seems so happy that it's going to be taken off soon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 196
Thank you for all of your insights. I really needed your perspective.
My husband totaled his car into a median and woke up into the hospital. That is how he got his DUI. We were separated at the time when this happened. I love him deeply. He is my best friend. And I want him to have a good life.
It is a good thing we are talking about this--like I shared with him that I was worried that an accident would happen to him, and he shared that he worried too that an accident would happen to me. I guess we need to keep open with each other.
We are slowly getting back into social situations--like there is a fear that something will trigger him--but I am so proud when he goes to a party or social situation and proves that he can handle the situation.
I suggested to him that we should probably find some AA meetings. I know that I going to have to trust him. And he is going to have to do this on his own. Only time will tell if he is truly committed to his sobriety. I have been to Al Anon in the past. It is easy to get away from it when everything is going well. But it may be good for me to still have it in my life as a good backup. Again thanks for your insight.
My husband totaled his car into a median and woke up into the hospital. That is how he got his DUI. We were separated at the time when this happened. I love him deeply. He is my best friend. And I want him to have a good life.
It is a good thing we are talking about this--like I shared with him that I was worried that an accident would happen to him, and he shared that he worried too that an accident would happen to me. I guess we need to keep open with each other.
We are slowly getting back into social situations--like there is a fear that something will trigger him--but I am so proud when he goes to a party or social situation and proves that he can handle the situation.
I suggested to him that we should probably find some AA meetings. I know that I going to have to trust him. And he is going to have to do this on his own. Only time will tell if he is truly committed to his sobriety. I have been to Al Anon in the past. It is easy to get away from it when everything is going well. But it may be good for me to still have it in my life as a good backup. Again thanks for your insight.
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