Texasblind

So I've been sober a while, but last night was the first time since, that I went to a "party."

First, sober; I was shocked at the amount of alcohol and drugs consumed in just a few hours. It was so weird to observe it from the outside, if you will.

Second, since I'm the "do not drink" guy, I had to drive people home. That was the first time I've ever been that guy. I gotta say, it felt good being the responsible one, but at the same time, I really just didn't want to be there.

Essentially, I didn't feel bad or craving for staying sober, but I also didn't want to be the one taking care of people. Bad Step 12 style Tex. Maybe I'm still not ready. And these are the "new people, new things" Maybe I just attract the lowest of the low, and that makes me depressed. Like, where are the ones like me. I'm no sober preacher, but I want to hang out with people where drugs and alcohol just aren't even part of the thought process. Maybe that doesn't exist.

Just weird. Please share with me....

least

Can't say as I blame you for feeling that way. I wouldn't want to be the DD either. I wouldn't even want to be around the drinking. If I were you, I'd just tell "them" that I won't be available for driving next time and they'll have to get a taxi. 12th step or no 12th step, I wouldn't make myself available. It is your choice, after all.

aasharon90

If you enjoy driving then driving for
patiants in rehab or halfway houses
is good service work.

I recall when i was in a 28 day rehab
facility back in Aug 1990, when i was
finally allowed to go to my first outside
meeting. This is when i chose my driver
to be my sponsor.

Having drivers not only keeps u sober
but reminds you of where u were at
one time when u were freshly sober.

And it gives the newcomers so much
hope in wanting to follow in ur foot
steps one day.

It's a great way of passing on what
was so freely passed on to u.

Also, fo me i dont place myself today
in situations that would ruffle my feathers
or make me feel squirrely. Staying
away from people places and things that
would trigger old thoughts of drinking
is practed on a daily bases.

tommyk

I like to drive and help out sober people, not drinking people.

Keep coming back.

BDP

dude I'm in the same boat as you. almost everyone I know drinks so often I am the only sober one in the room. For example I was also at a party several days ago where the booze was flowing and I didn't have anything. Sitting there watching everyone else get trashed was good enough for me. It really doesn't bother me b/c I am used to it. Before I got into drinking myself I would usually just drink water or soda while everyone drank beer. atleast for me, my tolerance to put up with it stems out of how much I actually enjoy the comany of the people that are drinking. While I like everyone at that party I probably wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for the fact that one of my good friends was there and I don't get to see him that often. Also, when I hang out with friends drinking isn't the only activity going on and sometimes it isn't done at all. So I have learned to just put up with it.

But I have wondered myself if I could find people that do not drink at all. They do exsist, I just haven't found any yet.

littlebluedog

I went to a house warming party where everyone drank not long ago. It was kind of interesting to be an outsider looking in, as you say, but that wore off quickly. Drunk people like to repeat themselves and talk over eachother. I should know, I've been in that boat a few times... My advice to you is to find a sober group of people to hang out with. There's nothing wrong with being the dd, but you don't have to do it.

HopeInFaith

are you looking for people who don't drink yet are not in AA? I know if you get in with the AA crowd you'll find lots of people who don't drink or drug. Lots of people like you and lots of people you can laugh with because they've all been there. My husband is in AA so through him I've met a lot of really cool people who don't drink. I was the 'normie'. I still am as far as they know.. although deep down I realized I'm just like the rest of them. I stopped relating to 'normal' people with regard to my drinking a long time ago. It's the people in AA whose stories I relate to them most. Not sure why I have such a block on actually attending a meeting and getting to know them as 'one of them'. So far I can only admit it to myself... it - that I have a drinking problem. Not sure if that equals alcoholic. Husband is still convinced I'm a heavy drinker. Whatever that means.

I do know that staying sober means not putting yourself into situations where it can trigger you to drink again. What would keep you from drinking by hanging out with the same ol' crowd, still doing the same ol' thing? That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself just to hang with your friends... is it worth it?

Mark75

I'll be riding a bike (something I love to do, have for years) next month with one of those people, fly fishing with another and hopefully deer hunting later in the year. All great people I met in AA.

Mark

P.S. Ever here of Wayne Hancock, A texas western swing country alternative musician... here are some lyrics I thought of from his song "I'm a Double AA Daddy..."

Well we’re goin’ out drinkin’
We’re gonna go drivin’ around
Yeah we’re goin’ out drinkin’
Gonna go drivin’ around
Well I’m gonna do the drivin’
So you won’t have to go downtown.

Well that’s it baby
Go ahead and tie one on
Yeah tilt it back momma till the last drops are gone
When your daddy’s at the wheel
Ain’t nothin’ ever gonna go wrong.
Well you can dance all night till you fall on the floor
Knock yourself out till you can’t stand it no more
I’m a Double A Daddy, I’m sober all the time
Well look out momma cause I’ll take you on down the line

Texasblind

I think you all are misunderstanding me. My posts don't always show the man behind the curtain.

I love being the DD. I love helping people out. I love doing my step 12 work.

This was more like why...why...why can I not change my people, places, and things, I find myself so continually attracted to dark and unhealthy situations. Maybe I have a mental thing going on. Maybe I can be sober, but I can't escape the darkness of friends and situations.

Example: I was at that party. I was sober. Drugs and alcohol flowing all around me. Yet, when something got set off, I became immediately aggro and wanted to fight. That's me, but I was stone sober. I was very confused and scared.

tommyk

I may have misunderstood, true.

If someone is out and they 'accidentally' get drunk (or they drink at all), and they call me for help, "Come get me please.. I drank.... I relapsed...", I'll be the first one there. That's one definition (for me) of a 12 step call.

Transporting people around that intend to get drunk in the first place, and having them use me as the designated driver so they can get wasted is (to me), more of me enabling them to drink than anything else (and not even close to 12 step work in my own opinion).

Good discussion topic.