notofeudalism

Im sorry for anyone I might have offended it chat. I am struggling hard with alcoholism and I am looking to mend relationships here. Thank you.

Sikkisirus

Hopefully whoever you have offended will realise you are struggling and forgive you. But I do not go to chat rooms so I don't know what you've said.

louis

Thankyou...

I met you in chat and as i said in chat if you want to discuss recovery and what works for you..... you are more than welcome...
Others have said the same....
In recovery... what works for one may not work for another... but we fight this together so have to be respecful of eachothers recovery paths....

see you soon i hope....

be well
louis

CarolD

I don't use Chat....so I have no idea what happened.
However....
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....

Please do stay here with us....many of us are winning
over our alcoholism. We can help you do the same

Mattcake

Thanks for the apology, Notofeudalism. The chat room is an invaluable resource for many people here at SR - we try very hard to accommodate everyone's needs, and to keep it running as smoothly as possible. You may have started off on the wrong foot, it happens - however, I think you'll find that SR people are very forgiving and encouraging. Please stick around, you have lots to offer.

Thanks again, I do hope you can get the help you need.

notofeudalism

I know sometime i can come off as abrasive and argumentative. Its part of my personality I guess. I wish anyone and everyone whatever means they choose if they want to quit their drug of choice. Perhaps I will come around as I have experienced a lot of the 'recovery" industry and AA meetings, but not in a positive way.

notofeudalism

I have not had positive experiences with recovery and meetings. I try to be open to lots of opinions but it can be hard.

Mattcake

Many people in SR are using methods other than AA to recover: SMART recovery (check out the Secular Connections forum), therapy, peer support (both in person and via SR), spirituality... I'm sure someone will post more.
The point being, if you have tried AA and don't think it's right for you, there are other choices to recover. And, though I don't personally use AA, I'm pretty certain that most SR member who do use AA will be glad to help you out if they can, if you're interested in giving AA another try.

Astro

Looking back, I'm pretty sure I went into recovery with a full head of steam and a chip on my shoulder. In time, I learned a peaceful way of living accompanied by a dose of humility.

I think you'll do just fine here.

Mark75

You've adopted a rather strident and recalcitrant posture... One I know well, from practicing it myself....

We are not rehab, DUI court, probation officers, judges... just a whole lot of people who have been where you are now...

Chill out here a little... no one is forcing you to do anything... and, mostly, everyone is pretty friendly... keep posting!

Mark

notofeudalism

Im am a live and let live kind of guy. Until I am wronged. Its hard to develop a peacefullness when one has thei eyes open to the blatant injustice and police state my country has become. I supose people just accept it and go back to watching TV and zoning out. I can not. Not talking about you. There is a difference in humility and self humiliation. I have no humility when I see a system designed to control, manipulate and hurt people.

notofeudalism

No you are right. This a place to vent I guess. I guess its like I see the invasion of the body snatchers and I try to open people's eyes. Here, at meetings Ive gone to. In the rehabs Ive been in. Its designed to infect people's minds. To accept the way it is and not question. To humiliate yourself. Ive been asked no less than a dozen times now why I am even here. Its like I bring up a point and people just put their fingers in their ears.

glad1242

I havnt had many positive experiences with rehab AA etc... actually none.

i find AA to be a strictly religous institution and i dont like that

i wish there was a way to goto meetings (im court ordered) and not hafta sacrifice my beliefs to get well but for some reason thats not an option (where i live at least)

i can see where your coming from but in the end its all about getting better and that you want to get better in the end thats all that matters

notofeudalism

AA has been determined to be a religious institution by the US supreme court. Not going to go there why I dont care for AA. Its not just AA though. I have yet to see a rehab, inpt or outpt that does not rely on AA, or a spiritual component. Including SMART recovery, which is based on cognitive bahavior therapy. The stuff about wise mind and such. I used to teach it. Its is psychobabble, and frankly based on tenets of Buddism(its easy to google).

The entire idea behind recovery which I have experiences has been based on humiliating yourself, complete obedience to authority, non questioning. Sorry, no sale here. Also big in self delusion. I know and did it myself.

notofeudalism

You will find almost everywhere that you are always in recovery, and that there is no cure, except, following "our" way, whatever way that may be, from AA to SMART. Its a wonder before the advent of AA, SMART, etc that people stopped drinking or using.

Mark75

AA is a very personal journey. It is spiritual, not religious. I was introduced to CBT in rehab... I always thought it referred to a type of torture practiced by some .... I didn't care for it, but it was just not what I needed to hear. AA isn't about psychobabble, thank God. It is a program that works for some of us. I never ever never felt humiliated in AA, in fact quite the opposite. I can't say the same thing about my own rehab experience, but I've let that resentment go...

Hmmm, don't know quite what to say except keep posting... If you don't learn something from us, maybe we will from you!!

glad1242

spiritual is religion imo

i know AA works i just wish that they would open up and accept my beliefs the way they expect me to completly conform to theirs and people in AA actually have straight up told me that "if i dont give in to god and practice religion im doomed to live in a gutter fighting the shakes" (thats an actual qoute from somone at a meeting)

and imo thats just not true and hurts more then it helps i wish i didnt hafta goto the meetings but im forced to

and im pretty sure not 100% on this but isnt 1 of the first 12 steps admiting yourself to a higher power or something along those lines? how am i suposed to succeed in the 12 steps if i cant have my own beliefs (which i hold very strongly and will not change my mind)

I want help with my disease not help finding god

and for the record i think everyone is intitled to their own opinion and thats fine just let me have mine and it just so happens i need the same help religious people do but i cant have it

notofeudalism

I was referring to CBT and DBT as psychobabble. I have a degree and used to teach it unwillingly. Its garbage talk, imo. I really dont want to pick apart AA as it seems to have worked for you. Spirituality is about belief and faith. There is no physical or scientifical proof about the "spirit", or a Higher Power. Its relies on faith. Which is religious. Its been legally recognized as religious by the USSC. To each his own.

spittake

So many people use message boards to fight with people from the safety of behind their computer screens. Being used to the belligerence, I was pretty contentious when I arrived at SR.

Then I realized, people are not here to fight, they're here to help each other clean up their lives in the aftermath of an addiction.

Mark75

Spirituality cannot be mandated, unfortunately AA can. I remember DBT too, I found that to be humiliating...

If you don't see spirituality (not religion, it is different) as a way to relieve your alcoholism, then AA should not be forced upon you. We have very little to disagree about, in fact we probably agree on quite a few things. It does not threaten me even a little if you think AA is BS..

Mark