C h i n k in the Armor
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 25
C h i n k in the Armor
Well, it's been almost 9 months of sobriety now and things have been going well. Something happened yesterday though that kind of troubles me.
I was making a delivery at a business (that's my job) and was talking to this woman who I know somewhat well. She was having a rough day and said that she needed a beer. Then she jokingly suggested we go to the bar down the street and she'd buy me 1 or 2 or 3. (She doesn't know me well enough to know that I'm an alcoholic) I joked back that sure, just lock up and I'd meet her down there. Now this was all purely hypothetical and there's no way that us going to the bar at that time could ever happen - but I was struck with this strange feeling that if this were a possibility I would have gone with her in a heartbeat. I would have thrown away my 9 months without even batting an eye.
Now this troubles the hell out of me, because I thought I was going strong with this sobriety thing and now I realize all it's gonna take for me to drink again is one fleeting moment of weakness. Poof! Goodbye sobriety. It's happened before, but I thought this time I had a handle on things. Maybe not as much as I thought. I guess I'll take this as a learning experience and when the actual situation arises, maybe I'll know how to handle myself.
That's all. Just wanted to vent.
I was making a delivery at a business (that's my job) and was talking to this woman who I know somewhat well. She was having a rough day and said that she needed a beer. Then she jokingly suggested we go to the bar down the street and she'd buy me 1 or 2 or 3. (She doesn't know me well enough to know that I'm an alcoholic) I joked back that sure, just lock up and I'd meet her down there. Now this was all purely hypothetical and there's no way that us going to the bar at that time could ever happen - but I was struck with this strange feeling that if this were a possibility I would have gone with her in a heartbeat. I would have thrown away my 9 months without even batting an eye.
Now this troubles the hell out of me, because I thought I was going strong with this sobriety thing and now I realize all it's gonna take for me to drink again is one fleeting moment of weakness. Poof! Goodbye sobriety. It's happened before, but I thought this time I had a handle on things. Maybe not as much as I thought. I guess I'll take this as a learning experience and when the actual situation arises, maybe I'll know how to handle myself.
That's all. Just wanted to vent.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 39
If you are an alcoholic the urge will never go away a beer or 3 is really tempting you just hafta be stronger then the liqour even though it seems hard at times
good for you for not going out and getting plowed nicely done!
good for you for not going out and getting plowed nicely done!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
That's what mindfullness is all about. We can't in a sobriety bubble protected from the virus of desire all arounf us but we can recognize desire or craving for what it is, understand that it's only power is in what we cede to it. Like a vampire the drug needs to be welcomed into our home before it can enter. Good job in being present and staying sober.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
ruletheworld - what helped me be at peace with the idea of a fleeting moment of weakness is the fact there are innumerable moments after that hypothetical moment of weakness - before we go to the bar, sit, down, order, pay, raise the glass, swallow....- where we can recognise it for the really bad idea it is...and change our minds, call sponsors, sober friends, whatever 
And like others have said, if you're prepared for those moments, and you're ready for them if or when they arrive, they needn't bother you at all
D
And like others have said, if you're prepared for those moments, and you're ready for them if or when they arrive, they needn't bother you at all
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by Dee74 
ruletheworld - what helped me be at peace with the idea of a fleeting moment of weakness is the fact there are innumerable moments after that hypothetical moment of weakness - before we go to the bar, sit, down, order, pay, raise the glass, swallow....- where we can recognise it for the really bad idea it is...and change our minds
And like others have said, if you're prepared for those moments, and you're ready for them if or when they arrive, they needn't bother you at all
D
And like others have said, if you're prepared for those moments, and you're ready for them if or when they arrive, they needn't bother you at all
D
Thanks for the insight everyone.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
I know many here 'lose the obsession'....that is not entirely my experience....
I freely admit I still get the thoughts from time to time - but they don't come with an imperative to act - and I figure they keep me vigilant
D
I freely admit I still get the thoughts from time to time - but they don't come with an imperative to act - and I figure they keep me vigilant
D
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chepstow
Posts: 359
I've been sober now for 4 months, and I'm an extremely happy customer of AA, but recently my sponsor got all 'tetchy' with me because when others in AA were asking how I was doing, I'd say something along the lines of, 'Hey, I've cracked this not drinking lark'. Why? Because the desire to obsess about drinking has left me.
So, when my sponsor asked how I was doing, and I told him I'd got this not drinking lark cracked, he strongly pointed out to me that he'd been sober 25 years and that he'd not got it cracked, and neither had his sponsor who'd been sober 30 years.
Now, I was a bit 'narked' (that means slightly cross) and thought that the message he gave me wasn't a great one. I mean how after 25 years is he STILL battling with alcohol; that isn't a great message for a newcommer!
So I went and stuck my head into the Big Book, looking to find an answer to argue with him about, but no he was dead right.
On page 85 of the Big Book, (which I trust, because it's amazingly worked for me so far), it says:
Which basically means to me, as long as I practise the programme in everyday life; my mind will be in the 'right place', and I won't get to a position where I'll be tempted to drink.
So, when my sponsor asked how I was doing, and I told him I'd got this not drinking lark cracked, he strongly pointed out to me that he'd been sober 25 years and that he'd not got it cracked, and neither had his sponsor who'd been sober 30 years.
Now, I was a bit 'narked' (that means slightly cross) and thought that the message he gave me wasn't a great one. I mean how after 25 years is he STILL battling with alcohol; that isn't a great message for a newcommer!
So I went and stuck my head into the Big Book, looking to find an answer to argue with him about, but no he was dead right.
On page 85 of the Big Book, (which I trust, because it's amazingly worked for me so far), it says:
What we really have is a daily reprieve [from the obsession to drink] contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: HouseSprings,MO.~~USA
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by ruletheworld
Well, it's been almost 9 months of sobriety now and things have been going well. Something happened yesterday though that kind of troubles me.
I was making a delivery at a business (that's my job) and was talking to this woman who I know somewhat well. She was having a rough day and said that she needed a beer. Then she jokingly suggested we go to the bar down the street and she'd buy me 1 or 2 or 3. (She doesn't know me well enough to know that I'm an alcoholic) I joked back that sure, just lock up and I'd meet her down there. Now this was all purely hypothetical and there's no way that us going to the bar at that time could ever happen - but I was struck with this strange feeling that if this were a possibility I would have gone with her in a heartbeat. I would have thrown away my 9 months without even batting an eye.
Now this troubles the hell out of me, because I thought I was going strong with this sobriety thing and now I realize all it's gonna take for me to drink again is one fleeting moment of weakness. Poof! Goodbye sobriety. It's happened before, but I thought this time I had a handle on things. Maybe not as much as I thought. I guess I'll take this as a learning experience and when the actual situation arises, maybe I'll know how to handle myself.
That's all. Just wanted to vent.
I was making a delivery at a business (that's my job) and was talking to this woman who I know somewhat well. She was having a rough day and said that she needed a beer. Then she jokingly suggested we go to the bar down the street and she'd buy me 1 or 2 or 3. (She doesn't know me well enough to know that I'm an alcoholic) I joked back that sure, just lock up and I'd meet her down there. Now this was all purely hypothetical and there's no way that us going to the bar at that time could ever happen - but I was struck with this strange feeling that if this were a possibility I would have gone with her in a heartbeat. I would have thrown away my 9 months without even batting an eye.
Now this troubles the hell out of me, because I thought I was going strong with this sobriety thing and now I realize all it's gonna take for me to drink again is one fleeting moment of weakness. Poof! Goodbye sobriety. It's happened before, but I thought this time I had a handle on things. Maybe not as much as I thought. I guess I'll take this as a learning experience and when the actual situation arises, maybe I'll know how to handle myself.
That's all. Just wanted to vent.
Poof!
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Remove all thoughts about the protection of any 'armor'.
Stay away from stray bullets and arrows.
Using thoughts and cravings are lies. But they can be very powerful lies. Play the tape all of the way through, think about why you decided to stop drinking, think about how you would feel later and the next day. 1, 2, or 3 beers would be no relief for me... I need 12 to satisfy my inner demon, but that's not gonna happen today.
Stay away from stray bullets and arrows.
Using thoughts and cravings are lies. But they can be very powerful lies. Play the tape all of the way through, think about why you decided to stop drinking, think about how you would feel later and the next day. 1, 2, or 3 beers would be no relief for me... I need 12 to satisfy my inner demon, but that's not gonna happen today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by glad1242
If you are an alcoholic the urge will never go away
This is the very definition of recovered that AA's Big Book speaks of.
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