Why am I crying?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 20
Why am I crying?
I just realized as I was reading some of these posts that I was crying. I haven't cried in a long time.
I'm at the stage where I think I need help and can't do it alone. I want to check out a local AA meeting but I'm so afraid I'll get there and people will think I don't belong there. ( I have a big problem with not feeling like I belong anywhere) Maybe my problem is more my mental health and not my drinking. Again not sure where I belong. When I'm drunk and I'm out with people I don't worry about being accepted - I can talk to people, dance, have a great time. (I know that's a false feeling but it's how I feel. Unfortunately, now I prefer to drink alone at home. I hardly go out anymore at all.
I will go to an AA meeting. That's my plan.
I'm so glad I found this site.
ps. I probably should mention that I do have chronic depression and take medication for that - celexa and trazedone. I don't know if depression makes it harder to quit addictions or not.
I'm at the stage where I think I need help and can't do it alone. I want to check out a local AA meeting but I'm so afraid I'll get there and people will think I don't belong there. ( I have a big problem with not feeling like I belong anywhere) Maybe my problem is more my mental health and not my drinking. Again not sure where I belong. When I'm drunk and I'm out with people I don't worry about being accepted - I can talk to people, dance, have a great time. (I know that's a false feeling but it's how I feel. Unfortunately, now I prefer to drink alone at home. I hardly go out anymore at all.
I will go to an AA meeting. That's my plan.
I'm so glad I found this site.
ps. I probably should mention that I do have chronic depression and take medication for that - celexa and trazedone. I don't know if depression makes it harder to quit addictions or not.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: shrewsbury shropshire
Posts: 74
Hi bailey61
Your not alone, not on here.
There's alot of posts on SR that have made me cry 'cos they have touched me in places I never thought I had. Either tears of saddness, great joy and on more than one occasion laughter.
I think your just recognising some of yourself in these posts. I too used to drink home alone in isolation thinking I was the only one who felt like I did. It was a revelation to discover I wasn't. There were people out there who felt like me who were getting help and not only that willing to share and help others.
I'm an alcholic with depression (the two go very much hand in hand). Both are beatable with belief in ourselves and support from others.
I hope you went to that AA meeting because you have discovered they would not have made you feel like you don't belong.
Your not alone, not on here.
There's alot of posts on SR that have made me cry 'cos they have touched me in places I never thought I had. Either tears of saddness, great joy and on more than one occasion laughter.
I think your just recognising some of yourself in these posts. I too used to drink home alone in isolation thinking I was the only one who felt like I did. It was a revelation to discover I wasn't. There were people out there who felt like me who were getting help and not only that willing to share and help others.
I'm an alcholic with depression (the two go very much hand in hand). Both are beatable with belief in ourselves and support from others.
I hope you went to that AA meeting because you have discovered they would not have made you feel like you don't belong.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Bailey
Untreated depression and other mental health issues can interfere with recovery. It is also true that it's almost impossible to affectively treat mental health issues while you are drinking and/or using.... And on top of all that, it's difficult to accurately diagnose mental illness while an individual is actively drunk. Don't even mention "does depression cause alcoholism or does alcoholism cause depression?".....
So my opinion is....
Unless the active alcoholic is a danger to himself or others (a broad definition can be used here....), treat the alcoholism first... Oh and if you are on medications for depression, don't stop them unless supervised by a physician...
Also... The people at AA will be very welcoming. Don't leave without some phone numbers...
Mark
Untreated depression and other mental health issues can interfere with recovery. It is also true that it's almost impossible to affectively treat mental health issues while you are drinking and/or using.... And on top of all that, it's difficult to accurately diagnose mental illness while an individual is actively drunk. Don't even mention "does depression cause alcoholism or does alcoholism cause depression?".....
So my opinion is....
Unless the active alcoholic is a danger to himself or others (a broad definition can be used here....), treat the alcoholism first... Oh and if you are on medications for depression, don't stop them unless supervised by a physician...
Also... The people at AA will be very welcoming. Don't leave without some phone numbers...
Mark
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello bailey and welcome to sr.if you are alcoholic as i am then you will feel right at home in an AA room.it is the one place i "felt i belonged".now with a little sobriety i feel i "belong" most places,i have started feeling like a useful member of the human race.ive never felt this before.i dont know about clinical depression,i was suicidal and had many serious attempts on my life a few years ago,but i have since found out it was all the booze.i cannot comment on how your head is but i like cubiles post,good suggestions.go to the meeting with an open mind,and if you are willing TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS to get sober,AA will work.please keep us posted.i wish you well.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome Bailey!
I accept you.
Actually, even though I've never had to deal with depression, I could relate to everything else in your post, the (imagined) social ease, the isolation drinking, and, worst of all (for me) the crying. I've never been one to cry, and now I find myself crying at random times, often for things that don't make sense to cry over. In fact, that's what led me to SR in the first place.
AA meetings, ah, I was terrified when I went last week, and almost just went home. A last minute bit of courage got me in the door, and all the people in there were very friendly. I felt very welcomed. I hope that happens to you, too.
There are plenty others here who are going through what you're exactly going through, and might could offer more suggestions. I don't know how to post links, but the Newcomers to Recovery Forum in the main menu has lots of posts about that.
I accept you.
Actually, even though I've never had to deal with depression, I could relate to everything else in your post, the (imagined) social ease, the isolation drinking, and, worst of all (for me) the crying. I've never been one to cry, and now I find myself crying at random times, often for things that don't make sense to cry over. In fact, that's what led me to SR in the first place.AA meetings, ah, I was terrified when I went last week, and almost just went home. A last minute bit of courage got me in the door, and all the people in there were very friendly. I felt very welcomed. I hope that happens to you, too.
There are plenty others here who are going through what you're exactly going through, and might could offer more suggestions. I don't know how to post links, but the Newcomers to Recovery Forum in the main menu has lots of posts about that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi Bailey61 
welcome to SR.
I have also been having a lot more emotions recently, I believe that it is because we have cut off a lot of our emotions & covered them with drinking & all of the things that go along with it.
Keep posting & sharing and good luck in your meeting, you will find people who completely understand your situation (like us here ;-)
Take care & keep us updated, we care about you.
NB
welcome to SR.I have also been having a lot more emotions recently, I believe that it is because we have cut off a lot of our emotions & covered them with drinking & all of the things that go along with it.
Keep posting & sharing and good luck in your meeting, you will find people who completely understand your situation (like us here ;-)
Take care & keep us updated, we care about you.
NB
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
"I don't know if depression makes it harder to quit addictions or not."
It does, in my opinion.
It also made me feel inferior about going to AA.
But once I got to AA I watched about 20 mirror images of myself speak outloud exactly what I was thinking.
I finally found where I belong!
It does, in my opinion.
It also made me feel inferior about going to AA.
But once I got to AA I watched about 20 mirror images of myself speak outloud exactly what I was thinking.
I finally found where I belong!
KCB.com/justfortoday :-)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 168
Hello My Lovely
Firstly welcome to the site - it was great for me in my early days of recovery. I'm fortunate that my friend came with me to my first AA meeting as I'm not sure if I would have gone in.
This is only my opinion that I'm giving you and it I don't represent AA in any way but believe me if you go to a meeting the last thing you will feel is alone. I have spent my whole life feeling like I was different but not even being sure why. I used to think that I must have been adopted because I felt so alien to all of my family and so apart from them all. Through the fellowship of AA I have a great relationship with my family today. I too suffer from depression and am on medication for a disorder that is similar to bipolar. AA isn't the only treatment for it of course but it's the one that is most effective. See if I miss a few meetings I can feel my old head coming back again! The first time I walked into an AA room I just felt like I belonged there. There was a sense of ease and comfort that came into my life that day and it has never left me.
Please try it - it will be the best move you have ever made! If I was over there in Canada honey I would come with you.
Be strong - pray if you believe in a higher power and you wont be disappointed.
Let me know how you get on wont you? There's a lot of love on this site and I'm only saying this from me but the love I give to a fellow alcoholic is unconditional. There is nothing you can say or do that would shock me and I just want to reach out the hand of AA to you. You're stronger than you think - most alcoholics are!
God Bless and I wont wish you luck because there's no luck attached to recovery - if you are honest, open and willing then you will be safe I promise.
I can't promise it will be easy but I CAN promise it will be worth it!
xxxxxxxxxx
Firstly welcome to the site - it was great for me in my early days of recovery. I'm fortunate that my friend came with me to my first AA meeting as I'm not sure if I would have gone in.
This is only my opinion that I'm giving you and it I don't represent AA in any way but believe me if you go to a meeting the last thing you will feel is alone. I have spent my whole life feeling like I was different but not even being sure why. I used to think that I must have been adopted because I felt so alien to all of my family and so apart from them all. Through the fellowship of AA I have a great relationship with my family today. I too suffer from depression and am on medication for a disorder that is similar to bipolar. AA isn't the only treatment for it of course but it's the one that is most effective. See if I miss a few meetings I can feel my old head coming back again! The first time I walked into an AA room I just felt like I belonged there. There was a sense of ease and comfort that came into my life that day and it has never left me.
Please try it - it will be the best move you have ever made! If I was over there in Canada honey I would come with you.
Be strong - pray if you believe in a higher power and you wont be disappointed.
Let me know how you get on wont you? There's a lot of love on this site and I'm only saying this from me but the love I give to a fellow alcoholic is unconditional. There is nothing you can say or do that would shock me and I just want to reach out the hand of AA to you. You're stronger than you think - most alcoholics are!
God Bless and I wont wish you luck because there's no luck attached to recovery - if you are honest, open and willing then you will be safe I promise.
I can't promise it will be easy but I CAN promise it will be worth it!
xxxxxxxxxx
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community.....
Depression is why I started AA recovery
And of course....your meds will be more effective
without alcohol in your life.
Good to see you here with us
Depression is why I started AA recovery
And of course....your meds will be more effective
without alcohol in your life.
Good to see you here with us
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by CarolD 
And of course....your meds will be more effective without alcohol in your life.
Good to see you here with us
Good to see you here with us
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 20
hi geekorunigque...I can't believe you said this 'I used to think that I must have been adopted because I felt so alien to all of my family and so apart from them all. ' that is so much what i feel too.Thanks you soo much! ps. it's so weird to hear people say things that you thought were only you feeling.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chepstow
Posts: 359
Bailey,
You may find that at an AA meeting, it is one of the few places you'll feel you fit into, when you're a newcommer.
I'm new to AA, four months now, the obsession to drink left me after about two-months (I can't put my finger on when exactly, but it was a short time after doing Step 5), and I haven't a clue how the programme works; but it DOES.
Anyway, at meetings; even new ones where I go 'exploring' away from my homegroup; I always feel like a fit in. It's funny, but I'm a manual worker and I'll quite comfortably chew the fat before and after meetings with a range of people I'd used to think I've not got anything in common with; from ex-drug dealers to millionaires (suspected millionairres) and a priest from my homegroup.
And one thing I've learnt in a short space of time, we're all pretty much the same.
All I can say is try to get to as many meetings as you can to begin with; don't just go to one, dislike it, and then think, 'Well I've tried AA, and that didn't work', keep going and get stuck into the programme (the Steps) as quick as you can.
There is a solution, I promise, it's simple if you've an honest, open and willing mind; and it does work.
You may find that at an AA meeting, it is one of the few places you'll feel you fit into, when you're a newcommer.
I'm new to AA, four months now, the obsession to drink left me after about two-months (I can't put my finger on when exactly, but it was a short time after doing Step 5), and I haven't a clue how the programme works; but it DOES.
Anyway, at meetings; even new ones where I go 'exploring' away from my homegroup; I always feel like a fit in. It's funny, but I'm a manual worker and I'll quite comfortably chew the fat before and after meetings with a range of people I'd used to think I've not got anything in common with; from ex-drug dealers to millionaires (suspected millionairres) and a priest from my homegroup.
And one thing I've learnt in a short space of time, we're all pretty much the same.
All I can say is try to get to as many meetings as you can to begin with; don't just go to one, dislike it, and then think, 'Well I've tried AA, and that didn't work', keep going and get stuck into the programme (the Steps) as quick as you can.
There is a solution, I promise, it's simple if you've an honest, open and willing mind; and it does work.
KCB.com/justfortoday :-)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 168
Bailey...see even the craziest thought that you think you have - someone else will say it and your jaw will drop!
The funniest thing for me happened when I did my first AA birthday meeting. I had shared that I'd been to a meeting on my AA birthday and the person doing the top table knew it was my birthday, so did people in the room. I wanted someone to mention it. No-one did...and there wasn't enough time so I didn't get to share. I burst out laughing when I thought about it later on. It was such a lesson in the fact that it wasn't all about me! Then when it went round the room and my friend shared that she had gone to an AA convention on her first birthday and had made people promise not to mention her birthday...so they didn't....and she was really annoyed LOL Just shows you...we're all nutters ha.
Again...welcome....hope you are doing well xxx
The funniest thing for me happened when I did my first AA birthday meeting. I had shared that I'd been to a meeting on my AA birthday and the person doing the top table knew it was my birthday, so did people in the room. I wanted someone to mention it. No-one did...and there wasn't enough time so I didn't get to share. I burst out laughing when I thought about it later on. It was such a lesson in the fact that it wasn't all about me! Then when it went round the room and my friend shared that she had gone to an AA convention on her first birthday and had made people promise not to mention her birthday...so they didn't....and she was really annoyed LOL Just shows you...we're all nutters ha.
Again...welcome....hope you are doing well xxx
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