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Old 08-08-2009, 07:02 PM
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KC1
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But I'm a HAPPY drunk

Hey there! Not sure if I am in the right place. I think I am a happy drunk. Is drinking a quart bottle of vodka a week a bad thing? I say no, hubby says yes. So instead I polished off a bottle of red wine alone tonight and am now having a "glass" of straight vodka on ice. I know I need help. Not sure how to go about getting it. Yes, of course I do. I just don't want to. What's it gonna take? Really? What's it gonna take? Me killing someone while driving drunk? I don't do that, but am scared I will!!!!
I have only been lurking and posting on these boards for a few years now. Please don't hate me. I need help ... just don't know what it is going to take......thanks so much! I know I can't get help unless I WANT to get help and right now I don't WANT to. What is that all about? Has anyone been there? Do I need therapy or rehab? Know I have to stop, need to stop, but don't wanna stop? Thanks. KC
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Old 08-08-2009, 10:54 PM
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Sometimes it takes a rock bottom experience for us to do what it takes to get better...

Alcoholism is a progressive disease...

Just be careful you don't end up drinking a bottle of vodka a DAY... like I have done... (and I started out with wine...)

Even if you're a 'happy drunk'.... the disease is relentlessly manifesting itself and eventually it'll be a matter of health.

(((Hugs)))

I pray that you find your answers to success very soon.
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Old 08-08-2009, 11:17 PM
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Unfortunatly i have hit rock bottom recently i always thought i needed help and i always kept drinking every day i kept going and going everyday telling myself i was gonna stop but for some reason never did UNTIL i got my 2nd dui recently and might do 8 months in jail for it, trust me stop while ur ahead if you think u can manage drinking every now and then, then by all means do it but the sole fact that u read these boards and think u need help means u prolly do u might need someone to intervene in your life and take control of the situation you cannot i wish somone did for me.
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Old 08-09-2009, 12:32 AM
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I think a quart of vodka (nearly a litre for us metric types) a week is probably cause for pause.

Some here may have drunk, or still drink, more - but it's not about how much you drink so much as it is why you drink, how you drink, and what happens when you do.

If you don't want to do anything about it - you won't.

There's no power on earth that can make an alcoholic stop drinking unless they have the 100% desire to do so.

But things always get worse KC - never better. Its the nature of the beast.

Your husband thinks you drink too much but you think you're fine. First red flag.
From your post it sounds like you polished off a bottle of red, and drank some more, to prove a point. Second red flag.

It's a problem, you've been on SR for years, and posting about your drinking for longer than I've been here - but you don't want to do anything about it.

Whole buncha red flags there too.

I dunno how to 'get it if you don't got it' - but I hope you get it soon KC.

D
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Old 08-09-2009, 01:07 AM
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For 10 yeras or more i thought i was doing no harm drinking in my own home 10 pints a night, thinking it wasnt a problem, however i first started with a few every now and then thats how it gets you i suppose.

Be very aware and only you will know if you have a problem then its admiting it.

I am just in my 26th day sober and everyone has been as hard, still have constant pulsating headaches, twiching, axiaiaty,stressed, really nervous and worried all the time about symptoms being something else and maybe serious my cofidence has just gone. Been to doctors at least 4 times he keeps saying withdrawals also said to go to opticians about headaches as they can see other things inside got totally paroanoied about that, got new specs but i am still thinking the worst of the worst.

All this because of drink, dont end up like me as i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.

Good Luck
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Old 08-09-2009, 01:27 AM
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As DEE said:

Some here may have drunk, or still drink, more - but it's not about how much you drink so much as it is why you drink, how you drink, and what happens when you do.



If you're drinking to escape any problems or are racing through your drink to get to the next one or God forbid end up in a major drama from drinking then yes in my opinion there IS a problem.
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Old 08-09-2009, 06:34 AM
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I think if you are worried, even if it's a tad bit, it's a sign that somethings wrong and maybe you should cut back or stop all together. Maybe try 30 days without a drink and see how it goes?
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Old 08-09-2009, 06:40 AM
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If your drinking is causing you problems with your relationship with your husband then it is a problem because living with that type of conflict is never healthy.
My wife tolerated my drinking for several years while what I perceived as nagging me about it.
I was a happy drunk too and had no intention of quitting until she said quit or get out. That was over six months ago and I just quit. I now can see the damage my happy drinking caused and I regret robbing my wife and my family of the time I spent at bars instead of with them.
I don't know if this is what you need to quit but I suspect that if you do quit that your life will be much better with a lot less tension then it is now.
Give it a try for a couple of months and see how it goes.
Good luck.
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Old 08-09-2009, 06:41 AM
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"I know I need help."

That's where it all starts.
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Old 08-09-2009, 06:56 AM
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I was shocked to read this last night -- that the recommended levels for women is NO MORE THAN 7 DRINKS PER WEEK, OR ONE PER DAY. I thought the levels were higher than that! (Men are 'allowed' 14 drinks per week.) Here's one article.... there are many more you can find with a google search:
Alcohol: What You Don't Know
Can Harm You

If you are like many Americans, you may drink alcohol occasionally. Or, like others, you may drink moderate amounts of alcohol on a more regular basis. If you are a woman or someone over the age of 65, this means that you have no more than one drink per day; if you are a man, this means that you have no more than two drinks per day. Drinking at these levels usually is not associated with health risks and can help to prevent certain forms of heart disease.

But did you know that even moderate drinking, under certain circumstances, is not risk free? And that if you drink at more than moderate levels, you may be putting yourself at risk for serious problems with your health and problems with family, friends, and coworkers? This document explains some of the consequences of drinking that you may not have considered.

What is a Drink?
• 12 ounces of regular beer (150 calories)
• 5 ounces of wine (100 calories)
• 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits (100 calories)
(This limit is based on differences between the sexes in both weight and metabolism. Beer ranges considerably in its alcohol content, with malt liquor being higher in its alcohol content than most other brewed beverages.)

Drinking and Driving
It may surprise you to learn that you don't need to drink much alcohol before your ability to drive becomes impaired. For example, certain driving skills--such as steering a car while, at the same time, responding to changes in traffic--can be impaired by blood alcohol concentrations (BACs) as low as 0.02 percent. (The BAC refers to the amount of alcohol in the blood.) A 160-pound man will have a BAC of about 0.04 percent 1 hour after consuming two 12-ounce beers or two other standard drinks on an empty stomach (see the box, "What Is a Drink?"). And the more alcohol you consume, the more impaired your driving skills will be. Although most States set the BAC limit for adults who drive after drinking at 0.08 to 0.10 percent, impairment of driving skills begins at much lower levels.

Interactions With Medications
Alcohol interacts negatively with more than 150 medications. For example, if you are taking antihistamines for a cold or allergy and drink alcohol, the alcohol will increase the drowsiness that the medication alone can cause, making driving or operating machinery even more hazardous. And if you are taking large doses of the painkiller acetaminophen and drinking alcohol, you are risking serious liver damage. Check with your doctor or pharmacist before drinking any amount of alcohol if you are taking any over-the-counter or prescription medications.

Interpersonal Problems
The more heavily you drink, the greater the potential for problems at home, at work, with friends, and even with strangers. These problems may include:

• Arguments with or estrangement from your spouse and other family members;
• Strained relationships with coworkers;
• Absence from or lateness to work with increasing frequency;
• Loss of employment due to decreased productivity; and
• Committing or being the victim of violence.
Alcohol-Related Birth Defects
If you are a pregnant woman or one who is trying to conceive, you can prevent alcohol-related birth defects by not drinking alcohol during your pregnancy. Alcohol can cause a range of birth defects, the most serious being fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). Children born with alcohol-related birth defects can have lifelong learning and behavior problems. Those born with FAS have physical abnormalities, mental impairment, and behavior problems. Because scientists do not know exactly how much alcohol it takes to cause alcohol-related birth defects, it is best not to drink any alcohol during this time.

Long-Term Health Problems
Some problems, like those mentioned above, can occur after drinking over a relatively short period of time. But other problems--such as liver disease, heart disease, certain forms of cancer, and pancreatitis--often develop more gradually and may become evident only after long-term heavy drinking. Women may develop alcohol-related health problems after consuming less alcohol than men do over a shorter period of time. Because alcohol affects many organs in the body, long-term heavy drinking puts you at risk for developing serious health problems, some of which are described below.

Alcohol-related liver disease
More than 2 million Americans suffer from alcohol-related liver disease. Some drinkers develop alcoholic hepatitis, or inflammation of the liver, as a result of long-term heavy drinking. Its symptoms include fever, jaundice (abnormal yellowing of the skin, eyeballs, and urine), and abdominal pain. Alcoholic hepatitis can cause death if drinking continues. If drinking stops, this condition often is reversible. About 10 to 20 percent of heavy drinkers develop alcoholic cirrhosis, or scarring of the liver. Alcoholic cirrhosis can cause death if drinking continues. Although cirrhosis is not reversible, if drinking stops, one's chances of survival improve considerably. Those with cirrhosis often feel better, and the functioning of their liver may improve, if they stop drinking. Although liver transplantation may be needed as a last resort, many people with cirrhosis who abstain from alcohol may never need liver transplantation. In addition, treatment for the complications of cirrhosis is available.

Heart disease
Moderate drinking can have beneficial effects on the heart, especially among those at greatest risk for heart attacks, such as men over the age of 45 and women after menopause. But long-term heavy drinking increases the risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, and some kinds of stroke.

Cancer
Long-term heavy drinking increases the risk of developing certain forms of cancer, especially cancer of the esophagus, mouth, throat, and voice box. Women are at slightly increased risk of developing breast cancer if they drink two or more drinks per day. Drinking may also increase the risk for developing cancer of the colon and rectum.

Pancreatitis
The pancreas helps to regulate the body's blood sugar levels by producing insulin. The pancreas also has a role in digesting the food we eat. Long-term heavy drinking can lead to pancreatitis, or inflammation of the pancreas. This condition is associated with severe abdominal pain and weight loss and can be fatal.
If you or someone you know has been drinking heavily, there is a risk of developing serious health problems. Because some of these health problems are both reversible and treatable, it is important to see your doctor for help. Your doctor will be able to advise you about both your health and your drinking.

Published by:
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
National Institutes of Health
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Old 08-09-2009, 07:44 AM
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I drank until I didn't "want" to anymore.. unfortunately I wanted to drink up until it amost killed me, affected my job, and destroyed my marriage. Almost..

Thank god I stopped. I finally realize that I want those things in my life much more than a few drunk nights a week.

Unfortunately a lot of people never choose to quit or get help. It's not something anyone "has" to do.. but I hope you choose to.
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Old 08-09-2009, 07:50 AM
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I never wanted to stop either and always though I was a fun and happy drunk.
I eventually came to the stage where I NEEDED to drink rather than wanted to drink.
Dont let it get to that stage for you.
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Old 08-09-2009, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by KC1 View Post
I think I am a happy drunk.
Yeah, i was a happy drunk too. But it turns on you over time.
Assuming alcohol will keep you happy isn't something i've seen happen.
That's how all of us got sucked in. We felt happy when we drank.
So we kept drinking. But when it stops working, your body will still need it to feel happy.
You're already addicted, because you use it to make you happy.
Try quitting for 30 days, and prove you're in control.
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Old 08-09-2009, 09:40 AM
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Welcome back to SR....

I had to want to quit
more than I wanted to drink
regardless of external circumstances.


When and if you reach that point
you can find all sorts of assistance..

All my best
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Old 08-09-2009, 05:38 PM
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Thanks. I really appreciate all of the comments. Especially the one from Dee74 who is right - I have been on here for years, posting about my drinking and have done nothing about it. Sure, I stop for a few days every now and then. I have my days of "never again", but you know how that turns out. I wish I could say that I drink to make me happy, or to escape something, or whatever. This probably sounds lame, but I really don't. I like wine and martini's and I used to only drink socially and only on a Friday or Saturday night. But, for the past year or two or three, I just don't stop. Can't have just one. Last night, when I opened the red wine, I said to myself - okay, you can have ONE glass. There is nothing wrong with having one glass. But as you know, I drank the entire bottle. Could have stopped there, but no, went and got the vodka. Felt like hell this morning and didn't feel good until late this afternoon. Some of you suggested I try and stop for 30 days. Hell, if I could stop for a WEEK, I'd be happy. So I guess I'll do just that. Try to stop for a week. That means nothing from now till next Sunday. How long does it take for the alcohol to completely leave your system? I am guessing in my case, a few days. Thanks again for the support. I'll give this another try.
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Old 08-09-2009, 05:50 PM
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This is British information, but it takes just as long in America

On average, it takes about one hour for your body to break down one unit of alcohol. However, this can vary, depending on:

* your weight,
* whether you’re male or female,
* your age,
* how quickly or slowly your body turns food into energy (your metabolism),
* your stress levels,
* how much food you have eaten,
* the type and strength of the alcohol, and
* whether you’re taking medication and, if so, what type.

It can also take longer if your liver isn’t working normally.

A unit is a 25ml (pub) measure of spirit or a half pint of beer.
A small (125ml) glass of wine is equivalent to about 1.5 units.

If you drink a large (250ml) glass of wine, your body takes about three hours to break down the alcohol.

So, if you have a few drinks during a night out, it can take many hours for the alcohol to leave your body. The alcohol could still be in your blood during the next day.
Wine bottles are usually 750ml.
If you're drinking from your usual quart vodka bottle thats near enough to a litre (1000 ml).
A glass of neat vodka on the rocks would be 9-10 25ml shots at least.

I'm not much good at math, but I'd give it a day, KC.

D
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Old 08-09-2009, 05:50 PM
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KC... Congrats on your newest determination... every day sober is a victory...

Just a thought...

Maybe it isn't a good idea to shoot for a week.. or a month...

Just shoot for this day.

You're sober now... and that is fantastic and shows the strong person you are.

I'm a firm believer lately in one day at time..

Sometiimes even one hour or minute at a time.

I pray you are healed very soon.

xx
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:23 PM
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KC Said:
Can't have just one. Last night, when I opened the red wine, I said to myself - okay, you can have ONE glass. There is nothing wrong with having one glass. But as you know, I drank the entire bottle. Could have stopped there, but no, went and got the vodka.
KC, in the Big Book (the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous) it says:

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to deside, if you are honest with yourself about it.
I think you've already done what the Big Book has suggested and reached an honest conclusion.

When I was at your stage of drinking, I just kept drinking; in fact I did it for a further two-and-a-half years before I felt beaten into AA. I couldn't live without drinking and I just didn't want to put up with all the crap that went with it.

But amazingly, two months into the programme of AA and the desire to drink just went; honest! I've also got this great programme too; my life is starting to become managable and I'm actually happy to be an alcoholic in AA in preference to a normal drinker outside of AA.

This might sound either mad or sad, but it's true, and there's many like me.

Anyway, I like your posts, they're very honest.

Good luck.
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by KC1 View Post
I need help ... just don't know what it is going to take......thanks so much! I know I can't get help unless I WANT to get help and right now I don't WANT to. What is that all about? Has anyone been there? Do I need therapy or rehab? Know I have to stop, need to stop, but don't wanna stop? Thanks. KC
I have been ambiguous about my drug use in the past. At the very least your asking questions about your use...that is a start as far as I'm concerned. Keep asking yourself questions. The answers will come one way or the other.
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Old 08-10-2009, 07:20 PM
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FAILED TODAY. Oh my Goodness. I am so ashamed and so fu**ing mad at myself. I can't believe I was so WEAK. But what do you do when your spouse, who claims to be so concerned about your drinking, tells you to your face that he is concerned about your drinking, actually says it has to stop, and then actually goes to a liquor store and buys a bottle of wine to have with our dinner??????? Oh yeah, and six pack of Corona Light because it is "not so much booze". I do think he thinks I can really control this. Maybe I did -- for tonight. I only had ONE glass of wine. Not good, I know, but very very very good for me. I normally would have had the entire flipping bottle. But what is one to do? He criticizes me for drinking and then goes and "enables" me???? WTF?????????? What do I do now? I tried to tell him to go to Al-Anon or any one of the organizations for spouses of Alcoholics and he tells me that if "I would just listen to him, he could help me stop." HA! He even accused me of being drunk cuz I got excited about learning how to download from the internet to the Ipod. Huh? I said I was just happy to learn how to do it and he said I must be drunk. Any clues here, friends? I SWEAR I AM NOT DRUNK. I had ONE glass of wine, but his comments tell me alot. Do they tell you a lot? He even accused me of stopping on the way home from work to drink. I DID NOT.
I just don't know what to do. I WISH I had a bottle of vodka right now, but I don't...I drank it all a few days ago, remember. Maybe there is some insight here. Oh well........hopefully I can learn from this. AND I SWEAR TO YOU ALL...I AM NOT DRUNK. ONE GLASS OF WINE ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO. Good for me.....someone say it is good for me.......I try so hard. But why the f would he accuse me of being drunk and then go buy me a bottle for our dinner. Ack....
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