littlebluedog

So I came home from a meeting, and my husband is drunk. Again. Happens every Saturday. In fact, he's passed out on the couch next to me as I sit here typing away on my laptop.

He's drinks "responsibly", if that's what you want to call it, during the week. Come Friday and Saturday, it's balls to the wall. To top it off, he's already not thrilled about all these new sober people in my life. Very frustrating.

Is he an alcoholic? I dunno. I think I'll peg him under problem drinker.Eh.

wanttolive

I live with his carbon copy. When you find the answer to that question let me know. Even if he is an alcoholic and doesn't want to quit noone can make him stop. If it is affecting you and your sobriety in a negative way you need to figure out what to do for yourself. Good luck with him and I hope he realizes it affects you. My spousal equivilant doesn't seem to care how it affects me.

debs

Sorry to hear this, Blue...

Stay strong..

You're an inspiration to me.

(huggggssss)

Debs xx

yeahgr8

I knew loadsa guys like this, in Gib and UK it is common place at any age. They are heavy drinkers for the most. Still screws up the family dynamic, either their wives (hardly drink at all) are out shagging the neighbours for attention or look like they are 10 years older than they actually are...happy days! Urrgghhh!

NewBeginning010

So sorry to hear that you have to be around that. Its hard for some to understand/respect why we are quitting & how important it is to us.

Maybe you can have a talk about it? I understand that its tough.

Take Care,

NB

littlebluedog

Thanks all for the responses. I've slept on it and I'm still pretty upset. It's a tough situation. Thanks for letting me vent.

totfit

Oh, what difference does it make. Alcoholic is just a term. Sounds like a, no make that two human beings that have a problem because of his drinking. I don't know what I would have done if I were in the other shoes putting up with myself. I had enough difficulty putting up with myself in my own shoes.

AcceptingChange

You're right, it is tough. And you're bravely dealing with it by not drinking. Which makes it tougher. I'm noticing things in my life that really irritate me now, but somehow never bother me when i was buzzed. :-). I'm hitting a phase where i'm not fun to be around, just pissed off. Fighting with my wife about things i held in. When i drank, i created a bigger problem for myself, being sick/hung-over. I noticed the other things i didn't like, but i didn't have the energy or desire to deal with them, cuz of the hangover sickness. Or when i was buzzed, i embraced it with love! Until days later, when it still pissed me off. But ignoring it by drinking didn't solve anything. The problems i ignored are still there. But i'm not taking actions on it right now, too early for me. I may change in the future as i get to know myself.

littlebluedog

Yeah, I know. I was just being a smart ass.


My thoughts exactly. At this point though, I can't do anything about it. If he wants to stop, that's 100% up to him. For now, I do me, he can deal with him, and we'll see how all this plays out. It just seems like a waste of energy to try and make him do what I want, you know?

Mark75

It's more than just a waste of energy. It is contrary to your own recovery.

These are major life changes for both of you. He is going to have resentments... He no longer has a drinking buddy, you have a new circle of friends that don't center around drinking (like, what's THAT all about?), and he may have to look at his own drinking.

He may not change. You are changing. That is reality. Live it one day at a time and turn this over to God... or your higher power...

My wife still has a drink or two every night, she's not alcoholic, but it is still awkward at times... at times I get resentful... and sometimes it doesn't matter at all...

Mark

NewBeginning010

Now that sounds like a plan Nice work!