debs

I feel like a dead girl walking today..

Aches and pains from head to toes...

I had to work in this state.... threw up twice while I was there...

It feels like I have the flu...

Is that normal for detox?

I'm still going to my meeting in an hour and a half.

Any tips on how to relieve some of the symptoms?

God I'd love to have a drink... I know it would take it all away...

IF I could stop at 1.

And I know I cannot.

tigers13

Debs, find someone to be accountable to. Whenever you want to reach for the bottle, call them and talk to them about it. It seems it's easier to say no to the drink if you've told someone about it. Or come here and post your temptations. I'm also a believer in Christ and the only way I got clean was to turn it all over to Him and to quit trying to do it on my own. I love the saying, Let go and let God. It's only because of Him that I got clean and have stayed clean. :ghug3

wanttolive

debs,

I threw up the first few days. all I could kinda keep down was water. that is just my experience though. you might want to call your dr.

Dee74

Every detox I had was different Debs. Most were flu-like tho for me.

I've probably given this to you before but I found this thread helpful when I got here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

D

debs

Yeah, Dee, I've read that thread from front to back when I was panicky...

It helped a lot..

Ya know....

It's always amazing what you come away from meetings with...

I REALLY didn't wanna go tonight... !

Amazing, really, seeing as how yesterday I was all gung ho!

But I wasn't prepared for the train wreck I feel like today... it's all new...

But I went anyway... and I won't lie.. the first 20 minutes bored me somewhat and I sat there just wishing I was in my comfy bed trying to feel better...

But the 2nd to last person who spoke was a woman who (bless her heart) couldn't even speak without crying...

She was in so, SO much pain...

And not the physical kind...

It made me realize and remember that as bad as I'm hurting physically right now...

It's NOTHING like the misery of emotional pain caused by this addiction.

I won't drink today and I'm grateful that I'm sober and in physical pain- cos the alternative is much, much worse.

Rob B

If you're going to do AA, I'd suggest working the steps pronto, I've felt like you feel, today I am complete and whole, the steps have everything to do with this, I know some solid AA's in Texas, feel free to PM me if you want their contact info, they will take good are of you.

Rad44

Debs,
I am really proud of you. You are doing what it takes to get better. The Dextox is tough but most of the worst symptoms pass in the first two days and are gone completely in four. None of the misery you are feeling so far is abnormal. Just remember, Detox is your Bodys way of saying "Dammit, you tried to Poison me! It's time for a little payback".

debs

Thanks again everyone...

Please pray that I get some sleep tonight!

nelco

(((Debs))) hope you slept well Debs. I think it would be a good idea for you to get someone strong in AA to talk to f2f and like rob said ....steps. It works for me too. I also feel a whole person. I used to feel disconnected froom everything.

tjp613

Good morning, Debs! I'm praying that you have a good day today!

debs

Just got home from another meeting...

It was great again!

AND I woke up this morning without the body aches !!!

It baffles my mind that I could feel EXACTLY like I had the flu JUST from detox!

And I know now that's exactly what it was, cos it's gone today! Amazing...

Anyway, as I was driving home from my meeting, this song came on the radio...

'I drink alone'....

YouTube - George Thorogood I Drink Alone

And I tell ya...

It made me laugh out loud! Cos I SOOOOO related...

But then something occurred to me...

As much as I THOUGHT I wanted to be alone when I was drinking...

That aint me..

I LOVE to be around people!

The song says ...

'When I drink alone.... I prefer to be by myself...'

So...

If I cut out drinking altogether.... I don't have to be alone!

I have no idea where these epiphanies come from lol... but I love 'em!

Believe808

Hi Debs, glad you are feeling a little better. That's great you have been going to meetings, have you asked for a sponsor yet? I hope you will do that because I found having someone who I am accountable to really helped with my recovery. She asked me to phone her each day and we started working the steps right away. I found that very important in my recovery. Keep posting and I do hope you get some sleep, lol, I still don't sleep well, but I am okay with that. Love ya!

debs

Not yet...

Mainly cos I have no idea how to approach that!

Astro

Debs, ask someone to be your temporary sponsor if necessary, someone you can call daily and be accountable to, someone who can get you started on your Steps. A sponsor should be someone who has what you want, so listen to people share, when you identify with someone and they've got experience with the program of AA, then ask them to sponsor you.

Keep going to those meetings, and don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

ClaretandBlue

Congratulations on attending your first meeting, and for going back. AA IS my recovery, I'd be out there right now without it.

Some people have different ideas on how to start the program. For me, it took me about 45 days to get a sponsor, and about 14-15 days after that to start on step 1. In my opinion, there's no need to rush it. In fact, had people been pounding on me to get a sponsor ASAP and start working the steps after a week, I probably would've given up.

There is no end goal of being "recovered." It's a life long choice, and it's not a race. I certainly do suggest getting a sponsor and working the steps, but don't put any undue pressure on yourself. If you're really ready and committed, things will become clear in their own time.

nelco

Great to see you moving forward Debs! Keep up that positive attitude.

Believe808

Debs, just raise your hand honey, and say you need a sponsor or even a temporary sponsor. Someone will probably offer to help you. Just remember even if you feel funny doing it, everyone had to do the same thing at one time or another. I'm really proud of you by the way.

debs

I had a HORRIBLE night.

Lost about $60 tonight at work.

When I'm a week and a half late for rent and still $300 short.

Was in tears and just pulling my hair out w/ stress.

My boss and good friend says to me, 'Just don't turn to drink Debs.'

I amazingly turn to him and say, 'There is no way in hell. Alcohol is what put me here to begin with.'

(He knew by 'here' I meant almost 2 weeks late for rent and still $300 short, my career that I worked so hard on in college ripped from my hands, my apartment in shambles, and hardly enough money for food)...

Normally, on a night like tonight, when I'd worked EXTRA hard, stayed EXTRA late, and picked up all kinds of extra duties, JUST to make more money ... and only to LOSE it....

I'd have gone out and gotten plastered.

(That is if I wasn't already hammered at work)...

But I have absolutely NO desire to do that..

None.

In stark contrast, I want nothing to do with the evil s***t cos if it weren't for IT, I'd be in a helluva lot better position right now.

It is that realization and understanding and determination that has gotten me to where I am... looking at starting day 6 of beautiful sobriety tomorrow...

And for that I am truly grateful.

yeahgr8

Hi Debs, great to hear that you are doing so well. You have some great advice for getting a sponsor, i'm sure one of the ladies at the meeting would be more than happy to give you some advice on this too. It is up to you to get the ball rolling, especially when asking if someone will be your sponsor...for me it was a bit of shuffling of the feet and kicking stones whilst asking but the guy said yes...i was like ok that was easy!?!

Let's put it this way the sooner you get a sponsor and start working on the steps the greater chance you are giving yourself to stay sober and get that happy, content, peaceful and successful life you want for you and your family. As ClaretandBlue says don't use it as an excuse not to go to meetings but be aware that the sooner the better...for you and yours!

Keep going to meetings, you are doing great!

debs

I know and eventually I'll gather up the courage to ask... but for now I think just making those meetings is what's keeping my afloat.

Who knows.

Whatever it is, so far, it's working.