I have a serious question, please answer folks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by Ago 
How'd you do on the twenty questions?
while we were able to moderate we felt GREAT, of course we did, that's why we kept drinking
while we were able to moderate we felt GREAT, of course we did, that's why we kept drinking
As of now, on the 20 questions I score 2.
As I say - surely I have felt remorse, had financial difficulties, lacked self-confidence, etc.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
NB - The moderating question is totally Alien to me personally, so maybe makes it easier in my decision of knowing I'm 100% alcoholic. I have only ever, and only ever intended to, got absolutley smashed everytime I drank. To me there is no middle ground when drinking. Either I'm not drinking or I'm getting wasted. Anything less just seems pointless and the craving to increase the feeling is too much to bear man. I would rather not drink any alcohol at all than consider only climbing up half of the mountain, I wan't to reach the summet everytime, even though I know the consequences will be painfull.
I hate Alcohol.
I hate Alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by hb3
However, if you count the "have you ever's", then I would score high. I simply can't make the connection to the person I was and am now. I have dealt with insecurities and depression in past and was foolish and unwise.
As I say - surely I have felt remorse, had financial difficulties, lacked self-confidence, etc.
As I say - surely I have felt remorse, had financial difficulties, lacked self-confidence, etc.
You may be only a "potential" alcoholic
Best way I know to go from "potential alcoholic" to "real alcoholic" is to keep drinking
You think to ask yourself why it's so important to "protect" your ability to keep drinking?
If "normal" people start having problems with alcohol they quit drinking, when alcoholics start having problems with their drinking they start justifying their behavior in order to continue drinking.
If you think you may possibly have a problem with alcohol, stop drinking, if you can't or don't want to, that may be the biggest and most glaring indication of a problem you've encountered thus far.
Drinking just isn't that important to "normal people" it's just not.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,938
Although there is a difference between an alcoholic (alcohol dependence) and heavy drinkers, (alcohol abuse) I think for the purpose of this web site the real issue is if one wants to abstain from harmful substances be it dependence or abuse. And from the looks of it your trying to do just that. For myself I like to weigh the pros and cons in a situation in order to get a clearer look at what is at stake in my decision making process.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
I think 'accepting' that you are an alcoholic is anything but a drawback but continuing drinking and living in denial is definately a huge drawback in life.
Being an alcoholic is a lifetime struggle between the craving and the common sense, and it can be re-triggered through traumatic events in life and such. To be alcoholic once is to be in danger for ever. I would very much not like to live with yet another threat hanging over my head and daring me.
Surely, it's much safer to not drink at all than to wonder. However, it's much more pleasing to one to not have that worry in the back of the mind. You're telling me, don't take the risk whatsoever. I'm saying, what if the risk isn't as high in people who settle their root problems, the problems that drove them to drink in the first place?
It's dangerous to consume any substance indeed, but so is it dangerous to drive a car. You know the statistic of probability of dying in a car accident in your lifetime for an average American are about 1 in 100? You could call this rationalization, surely, I concede I am rationalizing. Fact does remain, everything is dangerous these days, I wonder how dangerous is alcohol for me? Can one settle his emotional problems and be safe from it? Or is it, once an abuser, always an abuser?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 384
Originally Posted by Ago
Best way I know to go from "potential alcoholic" to "real alcoholic" is to keep drinking
If "normal" people start having problems with alcohol they quit drinking, when alcoholics start having problems with their drinking they start justifying their behavior in order to continue drinking.
If you think you may possibly have a problem with alcohol, stop drinking, if you can't or don't want to, that may be the biggest and most glaring indication of a problem you've encountered thus far.
Drinking just isn't that important to "normal people" it's just not.
Perfectly said... and worth repeating!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by Zencat
Although there is a difference between an alcoholic (alcohol dependence) and heavy drinkers, (alcohol abuse) I think for the purpose of this web site the real issue is if one wants to abstain from harmful substances be it dependence or abuse. And from the looks of it your trying to do just that. For myself I like to weigh the pros and cons in a situation in order to get a clearer look at what is at stake in my decision making process.
There certainly seems to be a proverbial point of no return where an abuser becomes an alcoholic. I am interested in as much information on this as possible.
Would it be fair to say that all alcoholics (on their rise, not necessarily after giving it up) are very dissatisfied with themselves and with their lives? Or is there some predetermined gene where some people simply catch the bug either way?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
you may get a better idea of your "condition" if you stop...
stop for long periods say 3/6months at a time...
what is life like without drinking?
commence drinking and stop abruptly......set a limit and stick to it.
can you stick to a limit.....again what does it feel like when you reach that limit.
for me alcoholism is alot about what happens when i dont drink....as well as when i do..
abuser/problem drinker/alcoholic.........the body benifits from not taking alcohol period.
stop for long periods say 3/6months at a time...
what is life like without drinking?
commence drinking and stop abruptly......set a limit and stick to it.
can you stick to a limit.....again what does it feel like when you reach that limit.
for me alcoholism is alot about what happens when i dont drink....as well as when i do..
abuser/problem drinker/alcoholic.........the body benifits from not taking alcohol period.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
You asked for opinions, so that is what I will give you, though I preface it wth the saying, "opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one." Mine is no more or less valid than your's or anyone elses. Actually, in this particular case, your opinion is relally the only one that really matters. But being that you asked....
I'd say you went through a period of abusive drinking and drug use in your life. You have quit the drugs completely, and now only drink occasionally, with no real compulsion to drink uncontrolably. That would not meet my personal defination of alcoholic. If you are going to continue to prusue "social drinking" I would do so with caution, as definately is some risk. So, for what it's worth, that's my opinion. Welcome to SR, travel safely!! Take care.
I'd say you went through a period of abusive drinking and drug use in your life. You have quit the drugs completely, and now only drink occasionally, with no real compulsion to drink uncontrolably. That would not meet my personal defination of alcoholic. If you are going to continue to prusue "social drinking" I would do so with caution, as definately is some risk. So, for what it's worth, that's my opinion. Welcome to SR, travel safely!! Take care.
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
Alcoholism as a "permanent" condition is not borne out by opinion but by actual experience. Most people who end up there (in my experience and observation) do so after trying everything in their power to prove that they are not alcoholic. I know I did.
There are different levels of moderation: at work functions (e.g., 1-3 drinks...painful, why bother?), with heavy drinking friends (3-6 drinks...do-able, but why stop there?), 6+ drinks on a wild night (this is more like it, but who's counting anyway, and oh but why am I the one drinking again the next day when all my friends are at home with a hot water bottle on their heads?)
No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic. Here's what I would do.
If drinking too much is causing problems, then drink within the recommended safe limits (1-2 drinks per day)
If you have trouble keeping your consumption at a safe level, then stop for a while (3 months, 6 months, a year)
If you find you have trouble moderating or stopping, then you may have a dependence on alcohol and you may be on the path of progression to alcoholism.
Seems pretty straightforward? I wished for years that it was actually more complicated than that.
There are different levels of moderation: at work functions (e.g., 1-3 drinks...painful, why bother?), with heavy drinking friends (3-6 drinks...do-able, but why stop there?), 6+ drinks on a wild night (this is more like it, but who's counting anyway, and oh but why am I the one drinking again the next day when all my friends are at home with a hot water bottle on their heads?)
No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic. Here's what I would do.
If drinking too much is causing problems, then drink within the recommended safe limits (1-2 drinks per day)
If you have trouble keeping your consumption at a safe level, then stop for a while (3 months, 6 months, a year)
If you find you have trouble moderating or stopping, then you may have a dependence on alcohol and you may be on the path of progression to alcoholism.
Seems pretty straightforward? I wished for years that it was actually more complicated than that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by tyler
You asked for opinions, so that is what I will give you, though I preface it wth the saying, "opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one." Mine is no more or less valid than your's or anyone elses. Actually, in this particular case, your opinion is relally the only one that really matters. But being that you asked....
I'd say you went through a period of abusive drinking and drug use in your life. You have quit the drugs completely, and now only drink occasionally, with no real compulsion to drink uncontrolably. That would not meet my personal defination of alcoholic. If you are going to continue to prusue "social drinking" I would do so with caution, as definately is some risk. So, for what it's worth, that's my opinion. Welcome to SR, travel safely!! Take care.
I'd say you went through a period of abusive drinking and drug use in your life. You have quit the drugs completely, and now only drink occasionally, with no real compulsion to drink uncontrolably. That would not meet my personal defination of alcoholic. If you are going to continue to prusue "social drinking" I would do so with caution, as definately is some risk. So, for what it's worth, that's my opinion. Welcome to SR, travel safely!! Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by FightingIrish
Alcoholism as a "permanent" condition is not borne out by opinion but by actual experience. Most people who end up there (in my experience and observation) do so after trying everything in their power to prove that they are not alcoholic. I know I did.
There are different levels of moderation: at work functions (e.g., 1-3 drinks...painful, why bother?), with heavy drinking friends (3-6 drinks...do-able, but why stop there?), 6+ drinks on a wild night (this is more like it, but who's counting anyway, and oh but why am I the one drinking again the next day when all my friends are at home with a hot water bottle on their heads?)
No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic. Here's what I would do.
If drinking too much is causing problems, then drink within the recommended safe limits (1-2 drinks per day)
If you have trouble keeping your consumption at a safe level, then stop for a while (3 months, 6 months, a year)
If you find you have trouble moderating or stopping, then you may have a dependence on alcohol and you may be on the path of progression to alcoholism.
Seems pretty straightforward? I wished for years that it was actually more complicated than that.
There are different levels of moderation: at work functions (e.g., 1-3 drinks...painful, why bother?), with heavy drinking friends (3-6 drinks...do-able, but why stop there?), 6+ drinks on a wild night (this is more like it, but who's counting anyway, and oh but why am I the one drinking again the next day when all my friends are at home with a hot water bottle on their heads?)
No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic. Here's what I would do.
If drinking too much is causing problems, then drink within the recommended safe limits (1-2 drinks per day)
If you have trouble keeping your consumption at a safe level, then stop for a while (3 months, 6 months, a year)
If you find you have trouble moderating or stopping, then you may have a dependence on alcohol and you may be on the path of progression to alcoholism.
Seems pretty straightforward? I wished for years that it was actually more complicated than that.
I will definitely take these and earlier remarks into consideration.
This is really what I was hoping to get out of this thread.
I know a few have given me responses that are safe, i.e. why drink either way, it's unsafe either way! But fact is I am more interested in knowing and understanding myself and whether or not I have a condition or not.
I find it quite easy to control my drinking these days (since I've started resolving issues that caused depressions), but I didn't know how I could take a measuring stick to myself to find whether or not I'm truly in control or just thinking I am.
With the help of responses here, I will definitely have more of an idea where I am.
Also I wonder, is there some timeframe of abuse that usually is the treshhold to alcoholism? I know there can't be a clearly defined line, but it wouldn't make sense that someone starts drinking for 6-7 months, goes into a frenzy, and then can never regain control for the rest of his life. There must be some resistance of the brain to the addiction before it turns into a lifelong dependency.
If nothing, one could take "drinking careers" of admitted alcoholics and compare their lengths of drinking to actual point where they realized they didn't have control over it, and compare oneself to it, no?
Can some admitted (to self) alcoholics here post how long they drank abusively before they realized they couldn't control it? (I realize actual dependency will take place before one's acknowlegment of the disease kicks in)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Campbell, CA.
Posts: 2
Ummmm
In my opinion the only difference between an alcoholic and a problem drinker is the blackouts. Covering emotional damage comes in many forms of addiction which always leads to a life unmanageable. Find why you always seem to be besides yourself and come to terms on lifes terms. Give up the cover ups, quit pretending and come clean with yourself and that is where you will find sobriety.
Best wishes and believe me it is well worth it.....my mess of an unmanageable life is now peaceful and happy.
Best wishes and believe me it is well worth it.....my mess of an unmanageable life is now peaceful and happy.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by hb3
Have you personally struggled with addictions?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by tyler
OH YEA!! Read my blog post if you want some of the gory details. Marajuana and alcohol were my poisions too.
Edit - I just saw it by your name, thx.. will read.
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
I experienced blackout and profound personality change (violence in a person who is not violent normally) my first time drunk.
I then decided that while I liked drinking A LOT, I didn't like blacking out and punching my best friend, so I became an occasional/binge drinker from the age of 15-30. It varied a lot during this time...just weekend, weekends + thursday, weekends + thursday + one other day, no or minimal drinking because I was doing other drugs.
Around age 30 I started drinking at home more. Still going out, but often easier just to stay in and drink. By age 32 I was a nightly drinker, then it became first thing on weekends, then missing work frequently, by this point my entire life is structured around alcohol. Anything other than my job falls by the wayside.
I then decided that while I liked drinking A LOT, I didn't like blacking out and punching my best friend, so I became an occasional/binge drinker from the age of 15-30. It varied a lot during this time...just weekend, weekends + thursday, weekends + thursday + one other day, no or minimal drinking because I was doing other drugs.
Around age 30 I started drinking at home more. Still going out, but often easier just to stay in and drink. By age 32 I was a nightly drinker, then it became first thing on weekends, then missing work frequently, by this point my entire life is structured around alcohol. Anything other than my job falls by the wayside.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
So.. after all the responses you've had and the questions addressed.. now what?
Drink if you want to. Not everyone thinks of alcoholism as a disease. I don't.. But I know it was causing more problems in my life than enhancements to my wellbeing, so I stopped. I don't ever think about it.. I'm a non drinker. I never get asked "why" I don't drink, and if I did, I simply say I drank too much, and now I don't. No brainer to me. I'm happy not to have all the brain damage of "do I drink to much, should I have one more, maybe I should cut back, what do I do, do I have a disease blah blah blah", I'm a non drinker, it has no bearing on anything else. I'm personally happier, healthier and better off for it.
If the risks of continued drinking are more palatable to you than the benefits of going without, drink away! You came here, you got opinion.. now what?
I went back and read the responses that you posted since I started typing this.. I knew I drank too much for a very long time. I never only had 1-2 drinks, well maybe rarely. I drank to get a buzz, I liked to get drunk. I knew that if I had 2 drinks, I wanted "one more". For most of my drinking 'career', I drank 3 or 4 drinks, sometimes a few shots thrown in, several nights a week. The last 3 weeks of my drinking, a switch went off or something, and I started drinking before I'd go out, in secret (sneaking extra shots that no one saw), wanting to keep drinking far more than most people I was around, and eventually trying the "morning" drinking to get rid of a hangover. That landed me in the hospital. I'm done with it.. not worth it. I didn't get to that point until a year ago, and it took me about 12 years of active "problem drinking" to get to such a place. That's my deal. I was also addicted to other drugs. Now I'm clean, sober, and out of that mess. I would never want to drink 'normally', 2 drinks to MY 'alcoholic' mind, are just a tease.
Drink if you want to. Not everyone thinks of alcoholism as a disease. I don't.. But I know it was causing more problems in my life than enhancements to my wellbeing, so I stopped. I don't ever think about it.. I'm a non drinker. I never get asked "why" I don't drink, and if I did, I simply say I drank too much, and now I don't. No brainer to me. I'm happy not to have all the brain damage of "do I drink to much, should I have one more, maybe I should cut back, what do I do, do I have a disease blah blah blah", I'm a non drinker, it has no bearing on anything else. I'm personally happier, healthier and better off for it.
If the risks of continued drinking are more palatable to you than the benefits of going without, drink away! You came here, you got opinion.. now what?
I went back and read the responses that you posted since I started typing this.. I knew I drank too much for a very long time. I never only had 1-2 drinks, well maybe rarely. I drank to get a buzz, I liked to get drunk. I knew that if I had 2 drinks, I wanted "one more". For most of my drinking 'career', I drank 3 or 4 drinks, sometimes a few shots thrown in, several nights a week. The last 3 weeks of my drinking, a switch went off or something, and I started drinking before I'd go out, in secret (sneaking extra shots that no one saw), wanting to keep drinking far more than most people I was around, and eventually trying the "morning" drinking to get rid of a hangover. That landed me in the hospital. I'm done with it.. not worth it. I didn't get to that point until a year ago, and it took me about 12 years of active "problem drinking" to get to such a place. That's my deal. I was also addicted to other drugs. Now I'm clean, sober, and out of that mess. I would never want to drink 'normally', 2 drinks to MY 'alcoholic' mind, are just a tease.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
OK, to those who have quit, went sober, taken breaks:
When you stop drinking, do you constantly think about it? About having it, about how nice it would be to drink again? Do you feel irritable etc? Of course, I imagine hardcore alcoholics who have let it run its course for a while will experience all these symptoms.
Or, does your mind go off and you simply live but without the alcohol?
I personally have no problem not drinking and don't think about it. But when I find myself in a situation, I do overdrink. That's why I wonder. How about those like me who can live without it but display troubling signs when drinking?
When you stop drinking, do you constantly think about it? About having it, about how nice it would be to drink again? Do you feel irritable etc? Of course, I imagine hardcore alcoholics who have let it run its course for a while will experience all these symptoms.
Or, does your mind go off and you simply live but without the alcohol?
I personally have no problem not drinking and don't think about it. But when I find myself in a situation, I do overdrink. That's why I wonder. How about those like me who can live without it but display troubling signs when drinking?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I haven't read all the posts but if you feel better when you don't drink, don't drink. If you can do it that easily, just keep doing it. I quit several times in my life before I joined AA. First time was to lose weight, the other two times was when I got pregnant. The third and last time I needed AA. For me will power only worked for so long before I had to admit that I couldn't do it my own.
If you think you can do it without a program, do it. Just keep in mind that AA is always there and always free.
If you think you can do it without a program, do it. Just keep in mind that AA is always there and always free.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I used to think about booze alot. I came to the decision that "normal" people don't think about booze like I do. This is one of the factors that made me decide that I was an alcoholic.
I had an obsession with all things drinking related TBH, I used to love it back in the day and I had an amazing few years of drunken fun getting upto allsorts of general drunken debauchery. I LOVEDdrinking culture and drinking booze. I was around it and mixing with extremely drunk characters from the age of 13 in Live Music pubs, both watching bands play and also playing gigs myself. I always got on well with and was well liked and respected by adults who were heavy drinkers. I used to love it.
However the love that I once had for it has long since dissapeared and the only thing it holds for me now is fear and trepedation. I hate the way that when I take a drink the only thing that I can think about is taking another drink. I hate the person that I become and the more I drink the more I hate myself but the more I need to drink to try to stop the hatred.
So in answer to your last question, when i think about a drink now I make sure that I think about what the realities of that drink will be; there are no happy outcomes for me and drinking now, I can feel booze's grip gradually starting to loosen over my thoughts and it feels great. There are no positive thoughts for me and drinking anymore, they are in the past and well and truly consigned to history.
I had an obsession with all things drinking related TBH, I used to love it back in the day and I had an amazing few years of drunken fun getting upto allsorts of general drunken debauchery. I LOVEDdrinking culture and drinking booze. I was around it and mixing with extremely drunk characters from the age of 13 in Live Music pubs, both watching bands play and also playing gigs myself. I always got on well with and was well liked and respected by adults who were heavy drinkers. I used to love it.
However the love that I once had for it has long since dissapeared and the only thing it holds for me now is fear and trepedation. I hate the way that when I take a drink the only thing that I can think about is taking another drink. I hate the person that I become and the more I drink the more I hate myself but the more I need to drink to try to stop the hatred.
So in answer to your last question, when i think about a drink now I make sure that I think about what the realities of that drink will be; there are no happy outcomes for me and drinking now, I can feel booze's grip gradually starting to loosen over my thoughts and it feels great. There are no positive thoughts for me and drinking anymore, they are in the past and well and truly consigned to history.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
