i need someone to talk to
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 664
I'm sorry to hear that. Just remember you're not alone and it's not the end of the world. I've been to at least two parties where a lot of people disclosed their DUI stories. It's not life-ending, you'll be able to carry on with your life and work. It may mean this is your bottom, which means you're closer to recovery. Don't beat yourself up because it's a common mistake. I'm pretty new to recovery so I don't want to give you advice as to what this means in regard to your sobriety and recovery, but a lot of more experienced people will post here and give you help. Just be glad you're alive and (hopefully) did not hurt anyone or yourself in an accident. Is this your first DUI? How far are you in recovery? Take care and know you're not alone, that there's a lot of people here who've been through the same thing.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
I got my DUI back in November of 2003...thought it was the end of my world, both personally and professionally. Turns out it wasn't all that big of a deal in the long run. It cost me about $2000 total, also loss of my license for 6 months (I got a special permit to drive to and from work, etc), plus 6 weeks worth of classes (which really opened my eyes). As for work, my boss never even found out about it.
The good news, I stopped drinking and driving and was totally sober for about 60 days.
The bad news, after those initial 60 days, I started drinking alone at home almost every night for the next five years! Finally sobered up 42 days ago and now feel better than I have in years.
Use it a life lesson and hopefully you'll cope better than I have these past 5 years!
The good news, I stopped drinking and driving and was totally sober for about 60 days.
The bad news, after those initial 60 days, I started drinking alone at home almost every night for the next five years! Finally sobered up 42 days ago and now feel better than I have in years.
Use it a life lesson and hopefully you'll cope better than I have these past 5 years!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
I've never had a DUI or been hospitalized or jailed as a result of my drinking. But I can tell you for sure I've had plenty of other miserable experiences. It only took the right one to catapult me into recovery. I hope this is your day to do this deal.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Aaahhh, a DUI saved my life 
Oh boy did I think that it was the end of my life.
I felt like the lowest form of life.
I was shaky and nauseous for days afterwards (probably detoxing but did not know it).
I still get cold when I think about what could have happened.
But, I have not had a drink since my DUI: May 8, 2008.
And I have not been tempted. Because ya know what, I thought I was fine to drive! That is where alcohol takes me. I do not ever want to go back there.
I am still paying off the fine. I live in California. It was pretty expensive and my insurance rates are not entirely pleasant. BUT, I have gotten through it and the courts do not charge interest!
Last year, my husband wanted to just pay off my fines. I said no. Because it is important for me to not forget where I came from. I have an amazing life today. BUT I can not have that life with alcohol, so...on the 20th of every month when I affect the wire transfer for $100 towards my fine, I remember how blessed I am to have the life I have today.
Do I wish I would have gotten sober without a DUI? yep
Do I regret it now? Nope cause look at me now
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.
Edited to add: Forgot to mention that I was so scared of drinking after that DUI that I hit a meeting the day after I got it and then I hit one a day for 3 months. AA gave me the directions for the sober life I have today!
Oh boy did I think that it was the end of my life.
I felt like the lowest form of life.
I was shaky and nauseous for days afterwards (probably detoxing but did not know it).
I still get cold when I think about what could have happened.
But, I have not had a drink since my DUI: May 8, 2008.
And I have not been tempted. Because ya know what, I thought I was fine to drive! That is where alcohol takes me. I do not ever want to go back there.
I am still paying off the fine. I live in California. It was pretty expensive and my insurance rates are not entirely pleasant. BUT, I have gotten through it and the courts do not charge interest!
Last year, my husband wanted to just pay off my fines. I said no. Because it is important for me to not forget where I came from. I have an amazing life today. BUT I can not have that life with alcohol, so...on the 20th of every month when I affect the wire transfer for $100 towards my fine, I remember how blessed I am to have the life I have today.
Do I wish I would have gotten sober without a DUI? yep
Do I regret it now? Nope cause look at me now
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.
Edited to add: Forgot to mention that I was so scared of drinking after that DUI that I hit a meeting the day after I got it and then I hit one a day for 3 months. AA gave me the directions for the sober life I have today!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Dude, DUI is a blessing.
Just hope that they mess with you as much as they can so you learn from it. I got a DUI, they truly screwed me all the way. But it was such a sobering experience!
There's no going back, you've got to accept it. If you want to feel better about actually having to deal with everything, just think of it as you repaying the cost that you owe, that's how I thought about it. I had gotten away with it for a long time 'til then, sooner or later everybody gets caught.
However, killing yourself while driving drunk, killing someone else, staying paralyzed or paralyzing someone else, getting a bill for $200,000 in property and medical bills, spending 40-50 yrs in jail, are all far higher prices to pay than to go through a bit of a legal procedure.
Accept that you're on a bad path and take this as your wake up call to get in control of your drinking.
I'm sorry if I sound compassionless, I felt same lack of compassion for myself when I got the DUI. Fact is, it is a blessing in disguise and do your best to use it for what it is - a chance for a change. You finally have that something profound that happened to you that you can hold onto to use as leverage to get your drinking under control.
Just hope that they mess with you as much as they can so you learn from it. I got a DUI, they truly screwed me all the way. But it was such a sobering experience!
There's no going back, you've got to accept it. If you want to feel better about actually having to deal with everything, just think of it as you repaying the cost that you owe, that's how I thought about it. I had gotten away with it for a long time 'til then, sooner or later everybody gets caught.
However, killing yourself while driving drunk, killing someone else, staying paralyzed or paralyzing someone else, getting a bill for $200,000 in property and medical bills, spending 40-50 yrs in jail, are all far higher prices to pay than to go through a bit of a legal procedure.
Accept that you're on a bad path and take this as your wake up call to get in control of your drinking.
I'm sorry if I sound compassionless, I felt same lack of compassion for myself when I got the DUI. Fact is, it is a blessing in disguise and do your best to use it for what it is - a chance for a change. You finally have that something profound that happened to you that you can hold onto to use as leverage to get your drinking under control.
grateful to be here
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 426
thanks ev1 for posting. i feel so bad now - i have to go to court tomorrow morning at 8. my mom is going to take me. i'm so worried about everything...from people at work finding out to maybe having to go to jail to losing my job to how long will my license be suspended or if i will be able to get a work permit........ i'm a mess of anxiety and negativity.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hey, I forgot to mention.
Take care of yourself today.
Drink LOTS of water, eat small healthy meals. You need to replenish your body and flush out the toxins.
Go for a walk, journal, go to a meeting, get out of yourself. Tomorrow is going to come, whether you make yourself sick over it or not.
So...they don't make you stay overnight in jail there like they do here in Cali??
Take care of yourself today.
Drink LOTS of water, eat small healthy meals. You need to replenish your body and flush out the toxins.
Go for a walk, journal, go to a meeting
, get out of yourself. Tomorrow is going to come, whether you make yourself sick over it or not. So...they don't make you stay overnight in jail there like they do here in Cali??
grateful to be here
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 426
that's something i was surprised about when i thought about it this morning. no i didn't stay in jail...he let my mom come and pick me up. it was around 2am. maybe that is a good sign that he won't be nasty in court tomorrow...i so hope so.
the whole thing was so stupid from the minute i got in my car last nite. i do have a dui from ~12-14 yrs ago. i feel ashamed and dumb that i couldn't learn it so many years ago. i have to make this be my bottom no matter what happens.
the whole thing was so stupid from the minute i got in my car last nite. i do have a dui from ~12-14 yrs ago. i feel ashamed and dumb that i couldn't learn it so many years ago. i have to make this be my bottom no matter what happens.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by bohemianzen 
thanks ev1 for posting. i feel so bad now - i have to go to court tomorrow morning at 8. my mom is going to take me. i'm so worried about everything...from people at work finding out to maybe having to go to jail to losing my job to how long will my license be suspended or if i will be able to get a work permit........ i'm a mess of anxiety and negativity.
Edit:
Ohhhh, I just saw you said this is your 2nd offense. This is pretty sticky. Depending where you're from you may be in some pretty serious trouble. Sorry to break it to you like this. But again, this is the time you say to yourself drinking and driving DO NOT mix. It's dangerous, it's reckless, it could cost you your freedom or even your life.
You know as they say - things happen for a reason. Maybe if you didn't get caught you would have crashed and killed someone? Don't look at the situation as the worst possible situation comparing it to you getting home and sleeping it off. Compare it to what could have happened. I know people drink and drive, I've done it plenty plenty times, but the DUI business is no joke. I'm sure they wouldn't care if you killed yourself, but you can't go around killing others as happens so often. I went to victim impact panel over my DUI and it was terrifying, mothers up there crying, holding bloody shirts off their sons that died to a drunk driver, really makes you reconsider what you're doing when you get behind the wheel.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
I have 2 DUI's also, 1999 and 2004. The 2nd one I was depressed for months after, but it also turned out to be a blessing and wake up call.
Time takes care of these things.......now your job is to learn from it!
You will be OK no matter what, I promise.......as long as you turn this (what seems to be) unfortunate situation into a "gift". Be happy no one got hurt and turn things around from this point on.
Congratulations on the beginning of a new, better you
Time takes care of these things.......now your job is to learn from it!
You will be OK no matter what, I promise.......as long as you turn this (what seems to be) unfortunate situation into a "gift". Be happy no one got hurt and turn things around from this point on.
Congratulations on the beginning of a new, better you
grateful to be here
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 426
i do want my life to be better and i know that drinking isn't helping. i'm depressed about a lot of things in my life and know that alcohol is a depressant...it's a vicious circle it seems. i have to stop drinking to ensure that this doesn't ever happen again. i wish i could crawl under a rock right now. one of the reasons why i was drinking is because of money.... now i've definitely made a bad situation worse. there are several things that are just not going good. again i have to stop drinking...or it's never going to get any better.
me and my mom talked this morning about drinking - my dad is still an active alcoholic. i told her i need to stop drinking. i know i'm lucky that something worse didn't happen last nite. she told me i was pretty bad and that she thought it might be good that he stopped me that i wouldn't have made it home in that condition.
me and my mom talked this morning about drinking - my dad is still an active alcoholic. i told her i need to stop drinking. i know i'm lucky that something worse didn't happen last nite. she told me i was pretty bad and that she thought it might be good that he stopped me that i wouldn't have made it home in that condition.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Usa seems a lot more lenient on drink driving than UK from what I've read on here. 12 months minimum mandatory ban in UK for over the legal limit and then increased length of ban increasing with amount over the limit.
I lost my driving license for 2 years for drink driving. I can now legally drive again as from 21.7.09. Cost a small fortune in fine, medical, reapplying, awareness course etc.
It was a real low point in my life, I lost my car which I had only had 11 days.
I got hammered as soon as I got let out of the police cells and got back home.
I am 25 days sober and determined. I had to hit to hit an even lower "emotional" bottom before I could really contemplate sobriety. I may well have killed someone or my self, if I hadn't have been caught. Who Knows?
I lost my driving license for 2 years for drink driving. I can now legally drive again as from 21.7.09. Cost a small fortune in fine, medical, reapplying, awareness course etc.
It was a real low point in my life, I lost my car which I had only had 11 days.
I got hammered as soon as I got let out of the police cells and got back home.
I am 25 days sober and determined. I had to hit to hit an even lower "emotional" bottom before I could really contemplate sobriety. I may well have killed someone or my self, if I hadn't have been caught. Who Knows?
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
The amount of times that i was caught & convicted of DUI was
sufficient enough to put my driving privilages beyond restoration.
The amount of times that i was not caught kept me in the grips
of active alcoholism far beyond the initial denial i was living in.
You will be held responsible for the consequences of your actions,
but they do not have to be links in a chain of self defeat & despair.
The way out of self destruction is available to anyone who
is willing to take certain steps to live a better way of life!!
sufficient enough to put my driving privilages beyond restoration.
The amount of times that i was not caught kept me in the grips
of active alcoholism far beyond the initial denial i was living in.
You will be held responsible for the consequences of your actions,
but they do not have to be links in a chain of self defeat & despair.
The way out of self destruction is available to anyone who
is willing to take certain steps to live a better way of life!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
Usa seems a lot more lenient on drink driving than UK from what I've read on here. 12 months minimum mandatory ban in UK for over the legal limit and then increased length of ban increasing with amount over the limit.
I lost my driving license for 2 years for drink driving. I can now legally drive again as from 21.7.09. Cost a small fortune in fine, medical, reapplying, awareness course etc.
It was a real low point in my life, I lost my car which I had only had 11 days.
I got hammered as soon as I got let out of the police cells and got back home.
I am 25 days sober and determined. I had to hit to hit an even lower "emotional" bottom before I could really contemplate sobriety. I may well have killed someone or my self, if I hadn't have been caught. Who Knows?
I lost my driving license for 2 years for drink driving. I can now legally drive again as from 21.7.09. Cost a small fortune in fine, medical, reapplying, awareness course etc.
It was a real low point in my life, I lost my car which I had only had 11 days.
I got hammered as soon as I got let out of the police cells and got back home.
I am 25 days sober and determined. I had to hit to hit an even lower "emotional" bottom before I could really contemplate sobriety. I may well have killed someone or my self, if I hadn't have been caught. Who Knows?
They're really strict and are constantly adding to the laws. I personally had to do the following:
- arrest and night in jail
- evaluation
- 40 hours community service
- 10 hours of risk education
- 20 hours treatment
- 10 hours aftercare
- victims impact panel
- 14 meetings with the court monitor
- various, various, various, various.. VARIOUS fees for everything and anything, running well into thousands, I lost track
- 2 years court supervision - meaning, anything you do, ANYTHING you are under radar.. even so much as a moving violation, do anything more stupid than that and you're risking your case being thrown out, upped to felony and doing your mandatory 30 days in jail
And I didn't even break a traffic law, so I did "well". If you crash, hurt somebody it gets much worse. If you violate anything, you go to jail. If you repeat offense it's also much worse. If you repeat while you have an offense pending, then you get some serious jail time, I'm talking at least a month at one of hardened beautiful county jails, where you'll get raped and beaten.
They're soon putting in a law around where I live at least, where 1st time offenders will have to have that gadget in the car which you blow into before you can start the car, among other things.
Drinking and driving simply isn't an option anymore, so it's best to just realize your fault and be happy you didn't die or kill anyone.
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