Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired!
 

I have been suffering from a (now thankfully unusual) desire to drink over the last week.
My Dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer and I am very sad about it. It is affecting his brain and so he is not quite himself.
I have always had a bit of a "difficult" relationship with my mother; she was abused herself as a child and finds it difficult to relate to me. We tend to fight and disagree a lot. She is also disabled and wants me to do a lot to help her now. She is getting worried about how she will cope with my dad and keeps saying everything is hopeless.
My mother's behaviour is making me angry :e076:, when my partner works late I find that I am lonely :abce: and have nowhere to vent anything after she calls me. I am permanently worn out :a227: trying to balance work and helping my parents.
This is definitely when I want to pick up a drink. It was almost too much last night but luckily I had no alcohol in the house!

Has anyone else had difficult situations that have given rise to strong emotions and a desire to drink and gotten through them? I'd welcome any suggestions. Thanks xx

"Has anyone else had difficult situations that have given rise to strong emotions and a desire to drink and gotten through them?"

For me, it is the simple realization that alcohol does nothing to solve ANY problem(s).

Alcohol has NEVER once solved, or assisted, any problem I've ever had.

In fact - there is no problem or situation that alcohol cannot make WORSE. ;)

When i was early in my recovery, yes. Not so much at all now because i have surrendered my will and my life to the care of God as i understand him. The Twelve Steps continue to help me deal with myself in any situation and circumstance. They also help me to recover from the obsession and compulsion to change my perceptions of reality. Self will becomes a useless toy because i have learned how to accept everything just as it is and only focus on what i can learn from it to become a better person. Going to meetings regularly and writing about my thoughts and feelings has helped me to get past and thru them much easier. Sharing with my sponsor has helped to bring about a clarity that i am unable to achieve all on my own. Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness has helped me to make more progress than i thought that i would ever make! The Twelve Traditions have helped develope a healthy attitude all my relationships and given me the ability to communicate effectively with others without becoming so wrapped up in my own head. They help me to focus on what is positive about relating to others and relieves me of the desire to become controlling, manipulative, and domineering in all that i do and say.

My prayers are going to God for you and my hope is that you develope a spiritual defense against taking that first drink. It could be the difference for you in finding and living a new way of life or settling for just being abstinent.

I think you have got it exactly right :c011:

You are so right; drinking is one problem I haven't got until I pick up the first drink. :c043:

Wow, 2 replies and such good advice already! Thanks so much xx

Yea, its tough. Youy have my sympathy. We try to be sober and strong in our recovery, then life interfers. All I know is that drinking never solved anyone's problems, cleaned up anyone's mess, or made the bad, hurtful, scarey things in life go away. My wife and I are in the middle of sepaqration and I have my l;ittle apartment now. I could sit in it, close the blinds and drink myself into oblivion but it would not provide one positive thing, only false, deadly eascape. I feel lonely, hurt scared, angry, confused, but I feel--that's what alcohol stole from me. Thank God I feel and thank God I'm sober. My best to you.

Hi Raineydae,

You have already gotten good feedback above, I just wanted to offer my support. Take care & be good to yourself :c033:

Fitz I am sorry to hear of your difficulties but thanks so much for the inspiration. Yes, in sobriety the good news is we get our feelings back; the bad news is that we get our feelings back!

Hey raineydae, one thing I've learned-just because we quite drinking does not mean life does not quite happening.
That's the tough part. At times I cherish my feelings, others I think they are a curse.
After 14 years of marriage I'm in the middle of an ugly divorce, with children involved. Just this morning I was thinking-I could just crawl into that old bottle and escape this nightmare. Then I remembered that never worked in the past. Not only was the nightmare still there the next day, but many times the drink had added to the problem. "This too shall pass" has helped me through many of trouble during my sobriety. You're doing the right thing coming here and sharing. It helps to know you are not alone-and you are not!!!

Yes, this too shall pass. That is good to remember, thanks tkdan.

Drinking will only make it worse. You know that.

Stay Strong!

Hi Rainey hang on tight and don't give in to that alcohol devil.
5 months into my sobriety my 85 yr old mother passed away, we were never close and I hadn't seen her in 10 yrs but of course it was still difficult. My father, her husband of 60 yrs was totally lost w/o her and it seemed that of his 5 kids I was the only 1 he wanted to spend time with. I also hadn't seem my father for 10 yrs before the funeral and I had a LOT of anger and pain that I'd been holding on to since I was a kid because he molested me over a period of 5 yrs and he was also a verbally and emotionally abusive drunk-until he was 62 and then he stopped drinking. So my 85 yr old father came to live with me after mom died and at times he seemed to forget that I was his daughter not his girlfriend, whether his mind was slipping or I just overreacted I'm not sure. I live alone so I had no one to intervene on my behalf and it was very difficult to say the least. I thought about drinking to just get him out of my head but I also knew that my drinking would only make matters worse and possibly probably leave me vulnerable to him so I did not drink and have not. Ultimately he had to leave because he was driving me crazy and he knew it. I grew so much from the experience and became so much stronger against alcohol I won! Since then I have finally and truly fogiven my father and he has become my best friend (from 1000 miles away) and my biggest supporter in sobriety and in all I do.

Don't give in to the alcohol. This is a difficult time for you and it can also be a time of great growth.

Jamdls, your story of courage and strength has really touched me. I am so glad you posted, it means a lot to have you and everyone share their stories. Thanks so much x