It's getting to be too much
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1
It's getting to be too much
I have tried unsucessfully for 2 years to moderate my drinking. I tried this because the prospect of not having that daily relief from the world at 4:30 scares me to death.
My relief from life usually comes somewheres between shot # 4 and 5, and Beer number 2 or 3.
That would be fine for me, but unfortunately I am never able to stop there. I drink daily on between 8 and 16 1.5 oz shots of whiskey and between 4 and 8 beer.
Maybe nobody else here understands this, but I like to drink, I am in love with the initial feeling of disconnect from the world. That first couple of shots that burn and the first couple of beers that extinguish, and being back in a place where my body is not screaming at me any longer.
What I am weary from, is the day after, with my spleen and my liver rubbing angrily against my rib cage, the first minutes of the morning looking around at the family and waiting to hear if I behaved badly the night previous. Hell, there is little hope that I will have any memory on at least 3 nights per week.
What I need, is someone to help me, advise me how they became a moderate drinker, and what steps I can take to numb the pain and stop, without this daily blackout and lack of self-control.
What prompted me to seek out a forum like this was the addition of the morning 2 glasses of five alive and vodka, and the 8oz flask split between morning coffee break, lunch and afternoon coffee break.
It seems that my life's clock is now tuned to when the next drink is, rather than what time it is. That concerns me more than a little.
Sorry for the long post, and thanks in advance to any that reply. I am currently on the end of a nightly routine, I can still type, and spell, and articulate, and use capital letters and punctuation. Some have called me a highly functioning alcoholic, maybe that is what has allowed me to descend to here.
My relief from life usually comes somewheres between shot # 4 and 5, and Beer number 2 or 3.
That would be fine for me, but unfortunately I am never able to stop there. I drink daily on between 8 and 16 1.5 oz shots of whiskey and between 4 and 8 beer.
Maybe nobody else here understands this, but I like to drink, I am in love with the initial feeling of disconnect from the world. That first couple of shots that burn and the first couple of beers that extinguish, and being back in a place where my body is not screaming at me any longer.
What I am weary from, is the day after, with my spleen and my liver rubbing angrily against my rib cage, the first minutes of the morning looking around at the family and waiting to hear if I behaved badly the night previous. Hell, there is little hope that I will have any memory on at least 3 nights per week.
What I need, is someone to help me, advise me how they became a moderate drinker, and what steps I can take to numb the pain and stop, without this daily blackout and lack of self-control.
What prompted me to seek out a forum like this was the addition of the morning 2 glasses of five alive and vodka, and the 8oz flask split between morning coffee break, lunch and afternoon coffee break.
It seems that my life's clock is now tuned to when the next drink is, rather than what time it is. That concerns me more than a little.
Sorry for the long post, and thanks in advance to any that reply. I am currently on the end of a nightly routine, I can still type, and spell, and articulate, and use capital letters and punctuation. Some have called me a highly functioning alcoholic, maybe that is what has allowed me to descend to here.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by saucer 
Maybe nobody else here understands this, but I like to drink, I am in love with the initial feeling of disconnect from the world. That first couple of shots that burn and the first couple of beers that extinguish, and being back in a place where my body is not screaming at me any longer.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
We understand, oh boy do we ever understand. Welcome to SR.
But I have to say that for me, moderation just isn't an option. I tried it many times, each time I started back up with a vengeance, it continued to worsen. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so for me to drink is to die.
You'll find help here and plenty of support, but have you considered a recovery program, treatment, rehab, or a plan for staying sober?
But I have to say that for me, moderation just isn't an option. I tried it many times, each time I started back up with a vengeance, it continued to worsen. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so for me to drink is to die.
You'll find help here and plenty of support, but have you considered a recovery program, treatment, rehab, or a plan for staying sober?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
maybe that is what has allowed me to descend to here
There is a thread here on Moderation. I think you'll find for must of us, that moderation doesn't work.
However, if you do decide to stop, see a doctor. You drink a lot and you may have a dangerous withdrawal.
Mark
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 248
No, you are most certainly not alone. I had a bad habit of telling people something when I was drunk with no memory of it and telling them the same thing over sober. They would say "You told me that already!" Embarassing..
My drink of choice was vodka so I thought switching to lite beer to moderate before quitting was going to work. Always ended back with the vodka because I had gotten to the point I had a hard time getting any buzz on beer and would end up drinking a 12 pack a day and not feeling it. I have quit cold turkey several times with medication from the dr which really helped. I think that the vast majority would say moderation sounds good but doesn't work.
This time I am almost to day 8 and feeling much better.
You need to see a dr though because that is alot of alcohol to quit cold turkey. See one soon before it's too late. Good luck to you.
My drink of choice was vodka so I thought switching to lite beer to moderate before quitting was going to work. Always ended back with the vodka because I had gotten to the point I had a hard time getting any buzz on beer and would end up drinking a 12 pack a day and not feeling it. I have quit cold turkey several times with medication from the dr which really helped. I think that the vast majority would say moderation sounds good but doesn't work.
This time I am almost to day 8 and feeling much better.
You need to see a dr though because that is alot of alcohol to quit cold turkey. See one soon before it's too late. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by wanttolive
No, you are most certainly not alone. I had a bad habit of telling people something when I was drunk with no memory of it and telling them the same thing over sober. They would say "You told me that already!" Embarassing..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: variable....
Posts: 36
your intake sounds very similar to me at one stage, and i thought i loved it and i was often surprised and proud i was great at work still.... but thats just how it works when you're tolerance is high i guess
i found it impossible to go from the amount you are drinking and more down to a 'reasonable'/moderate level
from my experiences i think it has to completely go first.... for as long as it takes.....
hope you find what you're looking for
i found it impossible to go from the amount you are drinking and more down to a 'reasonable'/moderate level
from my experiences i think it has to completely go first.... for as long as it takes.....
hope you find what you're looking for
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I loved drinking. I gave testimonials on the subject to anyone who'd listen.
But it turned on me.
I spent years - literally YEARS - trying to not only find the secret of moderation but trying to find that buzz I used to get.
I nearly died looking - I gave up - stopped looking for the buzz and stopped trying to pretend I could control my drinking.
I've never been happier. No lie.
And...from this distance I can finally admit that I was telling myself a lot of ridiculous BS for a lot of years.
For a guy who loved drinking? I was sure one deeply unhappy SOB.
I hope you decide to do something soon too, Saucer.
D
But it turned on me.
I spent years - literally YEARS - trying to not only find the secret of moderation but trying to find that buzz I used to get.
I nearly died looking - I gave up - stopped looking for the buzz and stopped trying to pretend I could control my drinking.
I've never been happier. No lie.
And...from this distance I can finally admit that I was telling myself a lot of ridiculous BS for a lot of years.
For a guy who loved drinking? I was sure one deeply unhappy SOB.
I hope you decide to do something soon too, Saucer.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Redneck South! :)
Posts: 291
Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit
HAHAHA!! That happened to me allllllllllllllllllllllllll the time!
How do you explain THAT one?
And we think that all of the lies are believable, eh?
I'm so glad we're not alone... as much as I'd never in a million years wish this ailment on my worst enemy- there's just a level of peace that comes with knowing others know just exactly what we're going through.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
I LOVE to drink too!! That's how I got here...and I can't recommend anything as to how to moderate because every time I tried that I ended up blacked out and making an arse outta myself then waking up to the guilt and shame....rest and repeat...because I "knew" I could moderate..I mean come on, how hard can it be??
Obviously, for me, moderation is not an option, but if it works for you then kudos!!! This is a great site for tons of advice and just reading the stories may give you more insight...Good luck to you!!!!
Obviously, for me, moderation is not an option, but if it works for you then kudos!!! This is a great site for tons of advice and just reading the stories may give you more insight...Good luck to you!!!!
Rockstar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 634
Im choosing words carefully here. Moderation seems to work for myself these days when earlier I would have failed. But im not kidding myself here, I drink 3/4 nights a week and I wouldn't call it 'moderate' drinking by any means. The difference is these days I wake up (come around) and I hesitate to say this but I feel fine. Years ago id have been straight to the morning Jagermeister whereas now Im happy with herbal tea (caffiene messes me up but i sometimes take tea). Ive come to look upon booze not as a bandage for other problems like I used to.
But each of us is different and I would never advise my style to anyone else. Its dangerous. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and a counsellor and he thinks I am a rare egg in this 'buisness' but he knows its NOT for him. Truthfully? You're better off with abstinence, there's less danger on that road and I sincerely wish you the best.
But each of us is different and I would never advise my style to anyone else. Its dangerous. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and a counsellor and he thinks I am a rare egg in this 'buisness' but he knows its NOT for him. Truthfully? You're better off with abstinence, there's less danger on that road and I sincerely wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by Sikkisirus
Im choosing words carefully here. Moderation seems to work for myself these days when earlier I would have failed. But im not kidding myself here, I drink 3/4 nights a week and I wouldn't call it 'moderate' drinking by any means. The difference is these days I wake up (come around) and I hesitate to say this but I feel fine. Years ago id have been straight to the morning Jagermeister whereas now Im happy with herbal tea (caffiene messes me up but i sometimes take tea). Ive come to look upon booze not as a bandage for other problems like I used to.
But each of us is different and I would never advise my style to anyone else. Its dangerous. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and a counsellor and he thinks I am a rare egg in this 'buisness' but he knows its NOT for him. Truthfully? You're better off with abstinence, there's less danger on that road and I sincerely wish you the best.
But each of us is different and I would never advise my style to anyone else. Its dangerous. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and a counsellor and he thinks I am a rare egg in this 'buisness' but he knows its NOT for him. Truthfully? You're better off with abstinence, there's less danger on that road and I sincerely wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Redneck South! :)
Posts: 291
Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit
I'm jealous.
But ya know what?
I'm even more jealous of those that, in spite of their inability to drink in only a moderate way, are capable of stopping for all time...
Wow.
That's one helluva dang accomplishment.
No doubt about it.
Rockstar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 634
Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit
I'm jealous.
always good to begin the day (5.40am here) with a smile 
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"It seems that my life's clock is now tuned to when the next drink is, rather than what time it is. That concerns me more than a little."
A person takes a drink.
Then, slowly, the drink takes a person.
A person takes a drink.
Then, slowly, the drink takes a person.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 13
Well, moderation... A few years back I started to feel uncomfortable with the idea that was drinking every day and the number of drinks increasing slowly but steadily. That's when I started with moderation: no drinks before 7 p.m., at least 4 non-alcohol days, only drinks during the weekend, only 21 drinks a week... Tried it all. The one thing I found was, once I started these attempts, on drinken-days, I would consume much and much more. A bit like eating-problems: fasting followed by bulemia. While I was at some days, even weeks able to 'control' it to some degree, days and weeks would follow invariably that I couldn't... At the end, so much mental energy went to 'controlling', that alcohol became a life dominating issue, an obsession... There was few energy left for other things. It's not worth it anymore. I give up on all moderation, quitted 33 days ago... It's still early, I know, but It's the longest time in 7 years. I still feel daily urges and temptations to drink, but somehow, now, I have peace with the fact that alcohol was maybe never meant for me, and I will have to learn to live with that. And - despite the fact that is not easy at this moment - it gives somehow a feeling of liberation...
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I tried over and over to moderate/control my drinking. It never worked. My only chance for a better life is to not drink at all. I too miss the brief relief I (used to) get from alcohol, but the end results just aren't worth it.
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Hey Saucer,
I loved alcohol so much I wanted to marry it! I too loved that burn of vodka or dark rum or wine, or....burning the back of my throat.
I tried moderating at some point toward the end and I came to see quickly that it wasn't going to fly. You mentioned in your post that you feel the relief after 2 or 3, but keep going. Moderation to me would mean that you could stop at those 2 or 3. I *think* you have already realized that moderation may not fly for you either?
Yep...the morning after the night before......Don't miss that.
Best Wishes Saucer and keep posting!
I loved alcohol so much I wanted to marry it! I too loved that burn of vodka or dark rum or wine, or....burning the back of my throat.
I tried moderating at some point toward the end and I came to see quickly that it wasn't going to fly. You mentioned in your post that you feel the relief after 2 or 3, but keep going. Moderation to me would mean that you could stop at those 2 or 3. I *think* you have already realized that moderation may not fly for you either?
Yep...the morning after the night before......Don't miss that.
Best Wishes Saucer and keep posting!
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