bigdanrog

Here I sit, not even a whole day of sobriety behind me this time around. My wife hasn't said anything since she got home, the little man is in bed, and I'm on the laptop in the living room waiting for her to lay into me with all of the pent up anger and hatred that my drinking has caused.

Nothing yet though. I wonder if she's just going to wait and see how my sobriety goes this time around.

I hope she hasn't just plain given up on me... but who knows. How could anyone blame her if she did?

CarolD

Hope your life is smoothing out quickly
sobriety is such a healthy positive force.

Welcome to SR...

Wolfchild

Welcome to the SR community.

What consequences you could suffer as a result of your alcoholism are unavoidable. Facing life sober and clean can put you on a more stable ground to deal with it. If relapsing is a pattern in your life, you may want to change those things that haven't worked and try something different this time.

Try not to lose hope and take it easy. If you want to stay sober, then don't take another drink. Have faith and keep posting.

Mark75

If you alcoholism has affected your marriage... what you are feeling is not paranoia... It is not irrational to assume that your wife has some resentment.

OK... so what to do...

This is why a program of recovery is crucial... I had a job to do in early recovery... get sober and stay sober... I needed help. All you can do right now is begin working on your recovery. Throw your heart and soul into it. You cannot change the past but you can change the future. You cannot change the way your wife feels just because you want to.... You gotta do something about it....

It's excruciating, I know... been there, done that... Went down in a ball of flames... I remember sittin' on the couch, laptop in hand...

How are planning to get recovered? I assume you've read some threads here at SR... it isn't just not drinking!

We are here to help... Tell us some more when you are ready...

Welcome

Mark

Astro

I'll just echo what Cubile shared. Been there done that too. I angered my spouse for years but denied it had anything to do with alcohol. Then came the day of reckoning, knowing that I was done but unsure of where to turn.

I never did learn how to turn back the clock and erase the past, but I did learn how to achieve sobriety and come to terms with the wreckage I'd created. She's my ex now, so I couldn't save that. But what I did was choose a life that's much better than anything I could've planned.

Hope you stick around Dan, there's a big life ahead of you.

Sikkisirus

Welcome to the board from another newbie

kwigers

You mention; "this time around". There is a saying that goes something like this, keep doing what you've been doing and keep getting what you've been getting.
How many other times have you sat in the same place, wondering when and how she would react?
How many other times have you been doing exactly what you are doing right now?

So what are you going to do differently this time around? When are you going to start?
What have you set up to support your efforts? Perhaps, instead of waiting for someone to react you could spend your time in more effective and meaningful actions and thoughts.
Perhaps instead of waiting for another, you take the first step. Perhaps in playing the old worn out thought of "this time around" you play a new thoughts that actually supports your efforts. You are making an effort, right?
Much love and light to you
~Cheryl

NewDayNow

I doubt that she hates you at this point, maybe the next time around. Pent-up anger? Hope you haven’t become too accustomed to it. Only one way to avoid the next time around. Been there.

Ed