newbie in need of help
 

hi all. im new here today, and this feels a little weird, but i desperately need to get alcohol out of my life...
i went through a bad time a couple of years ago and that was when i started drinking to escape my problems, drinking made coping with things easier and now drinking daily has become as natural to me as getting up in the morning.
today i have a hangover, but my first thought on waking was the last bit of wine left in the bottle, i know im going to go and have it in a minute but i hate it.
i got off the drink for a few months a few years ago, but this was only because i found a new addiction to things a little harder than alcohol. since kicking that addicition the alcohol addiction has come back, and before that it was an addiction to food. its as if i have to have an addiction. i wish i was just a normal person, but even when i try my hardest and pretend im enjoying a nice cup of coffee i know ill always be an alcoholic, and ill always wish that i was holding an ice cold gin and tonic instead.

i cant imagine a life without alcohol, it scares me, but i think im going to end up killing myself and that scares me even more.:a108:

I am so glad I don't have to do that anymore. You don't either... You have come to the right place... Welcome to SR

Mark

Welcmoe you can do it...read the posts, see if you can identify and if you really want to try something that works, try AA!

Good luck and keep us posted!

Cathy31
x

“He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.”


(“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, 1st. Edition.. page 152)


Hi Haggard as you can see from the quote from the book alcoholics anonymous......you are not alone.,

There is much help here and there will be much support. I use AA and the 12 steps. That is my experience. I am free from alcohol for a long time now and my life is not fear based anymore. life is good. I hope you keep posting. you have made a start here.

:wavey:
Welcome to our recovery community

Seeing a doctor about how to de tox is always a wise idea.
Good to know you are looking for answers...:yup:

They can help. Simply reach out. You do not have to live this horrid life.

The first part about always being an alcoholic may be true. The second part about always wishing for a drink doesn't have to be true at all.

I'm an alcoholic. I don't belive that will ever change, and I don't suffer from any delusions that I'll ever be able to safely drink alcohol. That thought alone was horrifying and scary when I got sober. But the reality of my experience in recovery is that I haven't wished for a drink in a long time.

Alcohol had a sort of irrational hold on me. It didn't make any sense given the harm it caused in my life. But I lusted for it. That's how it felt. Uncontrollable lust.

Today, through recovery in AA, alcohol stirs no lust in me. I am neither fighting it nor avoiding temptation. The problem doesn't exist for me.

I've found that this freedom from bondage is avaliable to all those who sincerely want it, and are willing to make the effort.

I am glad I read this thread. Being a 'newbie' so to speak myself {on day two here!!} this thread and the wonderful posts have helped me. Thank you Haggard for your courage to post how you feel!

i'm still a newbie at under two months :e124:

but what a two months

i started out ok

then got really down

then i was ok ish

but now i'm over the moon ,happy full of life i had some more blood tests my liver is recovering nicely and i'm on top of the world

i never want to drink again

i feel 20 years younger no yellow eyes no hangovers and i have a future and i'm making plans proper plans like normal people who dont expect to lay puking in their own **** and vomit do yaaay for me :c009:

Hi Haggard,

I felt just like you in that the thought of living without alcohol terrified me... The best thing is that you made it here and I hope you'll stick around. There are lots of people who can identify with how you're feeling to help you through this.

My biggest help EVER has been A.A.'s philosophy of "One day at a time"... I do my best not to dwell on "the rest of my life", and I only worry about not drinking today. It's really had a profound effect on how I view sobriety and it makes it more okay for me.

Glad you're here,
s

hope today is a better one for you Haggard and your still hanging around with us...

Haggard, that was me 10 months ago, I wanted it all to end because I didn't know how to stop the insanity of the drink and drugs. Today I am so grateful that my life didn't end. It does get better, just hang in there and don't drink just for today.

Hello and welcome to the SR community.

i hope that you begin to develope a
willingness to surrender to sobriety.

Just like you need to drink daily to get buzzed,
you need only remain sober one day at a time.

Same effort...different direction...better results

Thanks Haggard and :welcome. I hope and pray you find what you need here on SR. It has helped this Wino to stay sober today.

There is an addiction that trumps all other addictions:

The Joy of helping others.

hello haggaard and welcome.i am a 36 yr old alcoholic woman.7 months ago i thought my life was destined to end in a mental institution,suicide or a hideous painful death.not so today,i went to the fellowship of AA.at first i just listened as much as i could to the similarites and took peoples phones numbers and used them.now i am on the 12step recovery programme and my life is wonderful,i have no craving for alcohol at all (this went quickly!) and the obsession has been lifted from me also.i barely give alcohol a thought.from someone like me that was in the state i was in to go to how i am today is a miracle.recovery is there for you if you truly want it.i wish you the very best.

thanks guys, its good to know there are people out there who have gone through what i am going through, and even better to know there are so many who have achieved sobriety.ive had an ok couple of days, not alcohol free but still an improvement on previous weeks.
ill keep on trooping
:tyou

Welcome to SR!:c009: It is possible to live without alcohol, and living much better too. Read our stories and post your questions. We're here to support your sobriety.

Hang in there Haggard!

I've been drininking on and off (mostly ON) for almost 30 years and just decided 41 days ago that I've had enough. I now look at every sober day as a gift and reading these forums has helped me tremendously.

Don't ever give up!

Thats the way i imagined it would be...or alcohol tricked me into thinking that way.
In fact without implementing the 12 steps in my life it was much like you described.....and i also had ideas of ending it all..
i just couldnt imagine life without booze.....even sober it was tough.

BUT DONT MISS THE MIRACLE.........there is a solution if your an alcoholic like me and hundreds of others that attend aa AND..apply a simple program of recovery outlined in the big book of alcoholics anonymous.

i know ..i know...im like a saleman...BUT....Take it from this gutter drunk...life can be content and happy without booze.
im not special thousands if not millions of people recover from alcholism and live the life you wish for.

get some medical advice and phone the aa helpline.....

keep us posted and if i can be of any help feel free to pm me.