debs

And I hate it.

Tomorrow will be worse when sobriety (however short-lived it is) kicks in...

Will it ever stop?

stone

It can stop, yes.

Sobriety isn't that bad really, I prefer it now.

Try and get some sleep if you can.

Jade19

It does stop hon...what steps are you taking to ensure your sobriety? I didn't think it was possible either girl and i am not one who has years under my belt either...I am coming up on 30 days tomorrow and it has been the best 30 days of my life...I am 36 and haven't been sober this long since I was 13....it really can stop...you have to want it...do you want it?

Sikkisirus

It can stop, if you truly want it to stop. Im wishing you the best

Thami

Don't be too hard on yourself, just keep on fighting and don't give up...

paulg

I slipped many times before finally stopping. That is not to say that I excuse slipping because I don't. It is just delaying the time until life can begin; it is just postponing happiness. Get back to sobriety quickly and double your determination is my best advice. Forget about today. It's done already.

bohemianzen

failing is getting down and staying down
success is getting up again and again and again
don't excuse yourself - be responsible you chose to drink
but don't kick yourself when you are down
dust yourself off and climb back on the bus
we're here for you -- lots of good conversation, we welcome yours

traderjane

By coming on here and posting I think you want to stop. Don't give up even if it didn't work the first, second, third or whatever time because that is like giving up on yourself. I can't tell you how many times I promised I would stop drinking, but it has taken a long while to build up the resolve I need to do this. Keep with this forum and make change(s) needed in your life to make it happen.

CarolD

Many of us know how to stop for a short time.
To stay stopped often requires more than a decision.

What is your new plan?

Welcome back to SR...

nelco

yes it will stop when you have hurt enough and choose to do something about it. Life is good sober Debs, make a decision to look for a solution today.....it does get better

keithj

I was a daily drinker. My morning routine was a mixture of booze and coffee, vomit, and a little more of each. I snuck drinks at work and drank until I passed out after I got home. The short periods of sobriety I had (much like you're talking about), were always followed by a still worse relapse.

My last drink was the day before I started taking AA's 12 steps. I comitted myself to following the directions of a sponsor who had a spiritual awakening as the result of those steps. He took me through the steps. Nothing special, just did the work from the Big Book. I haven't had a drink for some time now. Even better, my life since then has been better than I've ever known. Better than my life even before I started drinking. And it's just gotten better over time. I continue to find a deeper contentment and fulfillment with what is.

This can stop any time you want it to. Become willing to do what others have done and you can recover.

Waterman

You can do it!!!!

smacked

It stops when you want it to...

I drank until I decided I was done.

Lots of us have found ways to do it.. read our stories, post.. stick around.

bugsworth

It only stops when you take back control of your life.

CaseyMarie

I have known of AA all my life. I remember going to meetings with my parents when I was a young child. I spent a year and a half court committed to a rehab. I was in and out of AA meetings myself for 3 years, never staying sober.

I recently started going to AA again {end of 08}. I am only on day TWO of my sobriety, but I know just how important going to meetings are!!!

It is not so much going to the meeting... I did it for years still drinking. It is a matter of opening up and talking at the meetings! Getting phone numbers & USING THEM!

I am excited for tonight, a womens meeting!!! I have an issue with opening up to anyone, much less a room full of men!!!

Try to find meetings in your area, get numbers, use numbers, find a sponsor!!! Be honest with yourself and your sponsor!

debs

Thanks so much everyone, for your encouraging words...

Today is a new day... I have alcohol in the house that belongs to my roommate and I'm desperately trying to not go in there and pour a drink.

Reading the forums here is helping a lot...

He's not awake yet but when he wakes I might just tell him he's got to get rid of it. How can I do this when it's right here in my fridge?

Anyway.. on this comment:

I totally agree...

I've been to a lot of AA meetings and it has been wonderful and helpful-

But here's my two main problems with it..

1. When it proves to be effective (ie) I obtain sobriety for .. sometimes months at a time... I get confident, happy, and the killer- cocky... I start to think I can do this on my own withOUT meetings... so I stop going... and then, well, the inevitable happens...

and

2. I never get the nerve up to actually CALL the people that give me their numbers

I'm shy. No question about it.

What would I say?

Would they be annoyed or as uncomfortable as me if I actually called?

And after I've been out of meetings for some time I ALWAYS have a terrible time gaining up the courage to go back.. I just wish I wasn't so shy and scared of change.

But I know I have to be strong and not only DECIDE I want the drinking to stop, but also do what I have to do to make it happen. And clearly I'm not strong enough to do it on my own.

It's not my fault that I'm an alcoholic- I've finally accepted that... but it IS my fault if I don't do what I have to do to get help.

keithj

CaseyMarie,

You point out a great failure of AA. I hope you don't take any offense at my post. It's intended to be helpful to you, Debs, and anyone else. So many people miss the message of AA while sitting in the rooms of AA. It's not your fault. I just want to assure you that there is much more to it.

If someone is in and out of meetings for 3 years, but doesn't stay sober, how can they believe that going to meetings is important to sobriety? I think they believe that because that's what they are told in meetings.

I have nothing against meetings. I have a couple I go to on a weekly basis that I absolutely love. It is doubtful that anyone is going to hear about the AA solution unless they are in a meeting. Go to meetings. Go to lots of meetings.

Again, talking and phone numbers are good. Very good, perhaps. But they are not the solution to alcoholism that is the AA program of recovery. If you are sitting in AA, with a group of sober friends and folks to talk to, you are missing the AA program of recovery.

AA's program of recovery is simple. You take the 12 steps, hopefully with the help of a knowledgable sponsor who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of those 12 steps. The result of your taking those steps is a spiritual awakening of your own that will solve the alcohol problem. You then carry that same message to another suffering alcoholic.

Support groups, friends, opening up to others, phone numbers are all good things that can be part of being involved in AA. They will in no way lead to a spiritual awakening that gives you freedom from alcohol.

If you can find a meeting where the people are focused on the solution to alcoholism as described in the Big Book, you will have a very different experience with AA, and if you choose to take the 12 steps as suggested, you will recover.

shaun00

debs thankyou for your post...i related very much to it.

i could do meetings all days long...if i dont engage in the program of recovery.
i get drunk eventually...

has anyone took the time to talk with you about whats written in the big book and how they worked through the steps?

until i picked up that book with guildance from a sponsor i continued to get drunk.....

going to meetings is great........but do not forget the suggested program of ACTION......it set me free.

littlebluedog

I know how you feel about being shy. The first time I went to my home group, my voice was shaking, and I sat by the back door. Now the people I've come to know and love there are some of the best people I know. It just takes time. Arrive early, stay late.

Wolfchild

The literature does inform us what happens when we fall short of becoming completely willing to fully surrender to a new way of life. Our thinking is what got so many of us into the situations that made it apparent to us that we had a problem with alcohol. Yet, so many still rely on that broken thinking while attempting to begin a process of getting sober and to recover from alcoholism. We often become more confused and resentful of others who are willing to help us. Until we reach a point of becoming entirely ready, we seem to make more excuses than taking any real action with our desire for sobriety or recovery.

A new way of life is available to you if you want it. Calling others who are recovering from active alcoholism helps them to keep what they have been so freely given. Every phone call you make to them helps you and them to stay sober one more day. Same thing happens at every meeting you attend!

Why not make a call today and ask for help?
Why not go to a meeting today & help another?