I do not fear sobriety, I fear the detox!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 30
I do not fear sobriety, I fear the detox!!!
Greetings,
Oh where to start!?!?!
I cannot seem to pull my thoughts together to type out what it is that I want to say. As I sit here, my hands are so sweaty that I have to keep wiping them off, my key are wet and fingers are slipping onto other keys! Tears are steadily running down my face! I feel as though my body is trying to eat itself inside out! I have the shakes like crazy. I have been EXTREMELY irritable all day. Have yelled at the kids a few times for such minimal things! I have paced over this entire house 50X today. I feel 'lost'. Have started laundry only to walk off to do something else because I could not focus enough on how to turn the damn machine on!
Ok so... I am an alcoholic!!! I have it in my head that I am a self made alcoholic although I *know* the disease has always been with me.
A few years ago until recent times (bout 9 months ago) I was dependent on pills (they were prescribed, just not to me!).
I knew there was a problem long before I allowed ANYONE else to know. I was extremely good at hiding it! I tried and tried to come off the opiates myself and just COULD NOT DO IT!
So, I began drinking hard liquor (never been a beer kinda gal). I drank for a few days/weeks while taking the other until I got to the point that I was able to be 'okay' without the lack of opiates driving me insane!
I thought the withdraws from that was bad, omg, I had no clue that trying to not drink would be 1000X worse for me!
So, here I sit. Scared as ****!
I have allowed my disease to progress to a horrible place. I drink a "handle" of hard liquor in 2 days, some days I am able to put it down in about 30-36 hours. That is INSANE! I never mix it, straight out the bottle I go!
I have gained 20+ lbs in the last 8 months (100% cause of the alcohol!). It is nothing for there to be 4-5 huge bottles of rum in my recycle bin every week. What do my neighbors think?
Now that I have gotten myself to this place, I find that if I do not have a drink with in 1.5-2 hours after waking, I will start to have the same feelings/symptoms that I wrote about in the beginning of this thread. If I have not drank enough to 'pass out' I will lay in the bed for HOURS ON END. I wake in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep unless I take 4-5 shots.
I have been going to AA on and off since December last year. I have even been that piece of **** girl who came to the meeting drunk!
Today, I have had nothing. I polished the bottle last night.
I have been reading online about different herbs/homeopathic that can aid in the withdraw process.
I have also read about SERIOUS withdraws that can kill you. This is what scares the **** out of me.
I have no idea all of what I just typed but think I feel better about typing it. I just needed to get some of this out! Thank you to whoever actually reads it, I know its long!
Oh where to start!?!?!
I cannot seem to pull my thoughts together to type out what it is that I want to say. As I sit here, my hands are so sweaty that I have to keep wiping them off, my key are wet and fingers are slipping onto other keys! Tears are steadily running down my face! I feel as though my body is trying to eat itself inside out! I have the shakes like crazy. I have been EXTREMELY irritable all day. Have yelled at the kids a few times for such minimal things! I have paced over this entire house 50X today. I feel 'lost'. Have started laundry only to walk off to do something else because I could not focus enough on how to turn the damn machine on!
Ok so... I am an alcoholic!!! I have it in my head that I am a self made alcoholic although I *know* the disease has always been with me.
A few years ago until recent times (bout 9 months ago) I was dependent on pills (they were prescribed, just not to me!).
I knew there was a problem long before I allowed ANYONE else to know. I was extremely good at hiding it! I tried and tried to come off the opiates myself and just COULD NOT DO IT!
So, I began drinking hard liquor (never been a beer kinda gal). I drank for a few days/weeks while taking the other until I got to the point that I was able to be 'okay' without the lack of opiates driving me insane!
I thought the withdraws from that was bad, omg, I had no clue that trying to not drink would be 1000X worse for me!
So, here I sit. Scared as ****!
I have allowed my disease to progress to a horrible place. I drink a "handle" of hard liquor in 2 days, some days I am able to put it down in about 30-36 hours. That is INSANE! I never mix it, straight out the bottle I go!
I have gained 20+ lbs in the last 8 months (100% cause of the alcohol!). It is nothing for there to be 4-5 huge bottles of rum in my recycle bin every week. What do my neighbors think?
Now that I have gotten myself to this place, I find that if I do not have a drink with in 1.5-2 hours after waking, I will start to have the same feelings/symptoms that I wrote about in the beginning of this thread. If I have not drank enough to 'pass out' I will lay in the bed for HOURS ON END. I wake in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep unless I take 4-5 shots.
I have been going to AA on and off since December last year. I have even been that piece of **** girl who came to the meeting drunk!
Today, I have had nothing. I polished the bottle last night.
I have been reading online about different herbs/homeopathic that can aid in the withdraw process.
I have also read about SERIOUS withdraws that can kill you. This is what scares the **** out of me.
I have no idea all of what I just typed but think I feel better about typing it. I just needed to get some of this out! Thank you to whoever actually reads it, I know its long!
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Detoxing can be fatal, yes.
Get help from a doc.. it'll be worth it, and safe. Don't worry about telling the doc your concerns and being honest about your drinking.. they've dealt with it many many times, unfortunately.
Just think, in just a few days you'll be done with it all, forever.. it's a wonderful thing.
Get help from a doc.. it'll be worth it, and safe. Don't worry about telling the doc your concerns and being honest about your drinking.. they've dealt with it many many times, unfortunately.
Just think, in just a few days you'll be done with it all, forever.. it's a wonderful thing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Yes, consult a physician, there are also meds that can help. You might want to explore inpatient detox. Also after the physical detox you'll have the mental for some time. Attend groups, seek professional support, family and friends who are sober, etc. First the physical, then the mental, emotional and spiritual, and then the recovering life. All worth it in my view.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Wow. That was like stepping back in time in my life. The amount, the time, the everything...same as me.
Please get help. I cold turkey'd it once after drinking like that and had full on DT's and seizures. I seriously thought someone had laced my last drink with about 5 hits of acid I was hallucinating so bad.
Cold turkey/on your own after consumption like that is extremely dangerous. Go to the doctor ASAP. If things progress quickly, go to the ER. I detoxed for the last time with help from my doctor and, combined with meetings, it's stuck so far.
Please get help. I cold turkey'd it once after drinking like that and had full on DT's and seizures. I seriously thought someone had laced my last drink with about 5 hits of acid I was hallucinating so bad.
Cold turkey/on your own after consumption like that is extremely dangerous. Go to the doctor ASAP. If things progress quickly, go to the ER. I detoxed for the last time with help from my doctor and, combined with meetings, it's stuck so far.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 30
How does one go about finding a Dr that is knowledgeable with our disease? How does one go about finding a Dr that will treat with out insurance or money?
I have thought long and hard about inpatient over the past few months. Of course, I always find excuses.. but in my eyes, they *are* good ones... Like, who is going to take care of my children?!?!
And with that said... how well do I take care of my children now, right? I am not the fall down, word slurring, bumper wall down the hallway drunk. I actually handle it very well, which is one of the biggest things that scares me about how fast I have progressed to this point. The amount I can drink, not pass out or puke and still walk straight, it is TRULY FRIGHTENING!
I have thought long and hard about inpatient over the past few months. Of course, I always find excuses.. but in my eyes, they *are* good ones... Like, who is going to take care of my children?!?!
And with that said... how well do I take care of my children now, right? I am not the fall down, word slurring, bumper wall down the hallway drunk. I actually handle it very well, which is one of the biggest things that scares me about how fast I have progressed to this point. The amount I can drink, not pass out or puke and still walk straight, it is TRULY FRIGHTENING!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
I was in the same boat: no money and required medical detox. Many cities have addiction specialists that will allow you to medically detox at home. The cost to see them is usually $150, but they usually require you bring someone with you that can administer the benzodiazepine while you are detoxing. The is the cheapest way I've found to medically detox.
I drank a over liter of vodka per day. My detoxes always lasted about 4 days. Nothing to be afraid of if you are under medical supervision. If anything, it's just a boring 4-5 days.
I drank a over liter of vodka per day. My detoxes always lasted about 4 days. Nothing to be afraid of if you are under medical supervision. If anything, it's just a boring 4-5 days.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Originally Posted by rhnorment 
I was in the same boat: no money and required medical detox. Many cities have addiction specialists that will allow you to medically detox at home. The cost to see them is usually $150, but they usually require you bring someone with you that can administer the benzodiazepine while you are detoxing. The is the cheapest way I've found to medically detox.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Most teaching hopsitals have ER doctors knowledgeable
about alcoholic withdrawals. They have to treat the public
regardless of insurance.
So are the free Salvation Army de tox centers
You could also ask in your AA meetings for assistance
and or local information.
Here is a link ....hope it helps calm your concerns.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Please keep posting....
about alcoholic withdrawals. They have to treat the public
regardless of insurance.
So are the free Salvation Army de tox centers
You could also ask in your AA meetings for assistance
and or local information.
Here is a link ....hope it helps calm your concerns.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Please keep posting....
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
A doctor doesn't have to follow or be trained in the disease model of alcoholism to be able to detox you from the toxic effects of alcohol dependence and ease withdrawal, it's purely medical and takes a few days. A lot of people get some assistance from the ER.. or their general practitioner. It's really not rocket science.
Now, if you're looking for a great rehab program, I'm sure you'll find some suggestions here. Thoughts on alcoholism, alcohol dependence/addiction vary, as do programs around the country (world). I think it's important to find the best match for you.
Now, if you're looking for a great rehab program, I'm sure you'll find some suggestions here. Thoughts on alcoholism, alcohol dependence/addiction vary, as do programs around the country (world). I think it's important to find the best match for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 61
CaseyMarie,
Please get medical advice at the least. Detox from alcohol is a serious medical emergency and should NOT be taken lightly. If you have been a daily drinker (which it sounds like you have), its time to see a doc. Now, if you were only a binger, or you drank sparingly, I would say you should be able to tough it out.
I would say usually after 72 hours without a drink, if nothing serious has happened...your in the clear. Yet this is in my experience...it's not unheard of to go into late withdrawals (7-8 days after last drink). However, like I said before...in my personal experience, if I am OK by the 4th day...i'm usually good to go. Either way, don't chance it. Get medical advice at the least, or see a doctor. Good luck
Please get medical advice at the least. Detox from alcohol is a serious medical emergency and should NOT be taken lightly. If you have been a daily drinker (which it sounds like you have), its time to see a doc. Now, if you were only a binger, or you drank sparingly, I would say you should be able to tough it out.
I would say usually after 72 hours without a drink, if nothing serious has happened...your in the clear. Yet this is in my experience...it's not unheard of to go into late withdrawals (7-8 days after last drink). However, like I said before...in my personal experience, if I am OK by the 4th day...i'm usually good to go. Either way, don't chance it. Get medical advice at the least, or see a doctor. Good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 30
Thank you everyone!!
I just got back a bit ago from a meeting. Going two for two! I have ever intention to make a womens meeting tomorrow evening, but that seem soooooooo far away.
I have been trying a few herbs today to try to curb the symptoms. I sometimes forget the things I *do* know.. like duh CaseyMarie, look in your homeopathic and natural healing books for alcohol detoxing! UGH!
The nonstop crying fits have subsided. Just having bursts of fits now, lol. I have been drinking lot of soda (for the sugar) today. I do NOT drink soda, but I heard/read its a good idea to eat/drink sugary things, that it helps somehow.
Again, thank you everyone so much.
I just got back a bit ago from a meeting. Going two for two! I have ever intention to make a womens meeting tomorrow evening, but that seem soooooooo far away.
I have been trying a few herbs today to try to curb the symptoms. I sometimes forget the things I *do* know.. like duh CaseyMarie, look in your homeopathic and natural healing books for alcohol detoxing! UGH!
The nonstop crying fits have subsided. Just having bursts of fits now, lol. I have been drinking lot of soda (for the sugar) today. I do NOT drink soda, but I heard/read its a good idea to eat/drink sugary things, that it helps somehow.
Again, thank you everyone so much.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 30
As I read the link that CarolD provided.. I have of course begun my crying fit again!!
I noticed a few people mentioning stomach aches. I have tried (truly) to make it to the PM hours (meaning NOON) before my first drink. There was a couple of days I succeed. Not often though.
I did notice that on the days that I had gone for hours with out my stomach would feel like it was eating itself. As if my ulcer was ripping my belly open. After I started drinking for the day, it would subside.
My husband said I was nuts, that drinking would only make the pain worse, not better, that it was probably the ulcer causing the pain, not the lack of alcohol. I believe he was the one mistaken and I was not imagining pain that was so deep it made it hard for me to breath, made my back hurt!!!
I noticed a few people mentioning stomach aches. I have tried (truly) to make it to the PM hours (meaning NOON) before my first drink. There was a couple of days I succeed. Not often though.
I did notice that on the days that I had gone for hours with out my stomach would feel like it was eating itself. As if my ulcer was ripping my belly open. After I started drinking for the day, it would subside.
My husband said I was nuts, that drinking would only make the pain worse, not better, that it was probably the ulcer causing the pain, not the lack of alcohol. I believe he was the one mistaken and I was not imagining pain that was so deep it made it hard for me to breath, made my back hurt!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: sometime in the future
Posts: 1
Casey,
Your story is a mirrow of mine.
I'm going though the very same thing RIGHT NOW as I tye this. I had the shakes I sweat like hooker on dollar day. I was very up front with my Dr. yesterday because I want to quit. I told him I have the mental and emotional state to do it but needed help with the physical withdrawal part.He prescribed DIAZEPAM and it's helped alot. GOOD LUCK
Your story is a mirrow of mine.
I'm going though the very same thing RIGHT NOW as I tye this. I had the shakes I sweat like hooker on dollar day. I was very up front with my Dr. yesterday because I want to quit. I told him I have the mental and emotional state to do it but needed help with the physical withdrawal part.He prescribed DIAZEPAM and it's helped alot. GOOD LUCK
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello casey and welcome.my dad detoxed on his own and had a stomach ulcer that burst.he heamoraged (sp) 4 pints of blood into his stomach which caused a massive heart attack and he died.he was 56.im sorry if this is a bit graphic but just pointing out how important it is to get medical help.everyone always talks so much about how much these things cost,,,the cost of our next drink didnt seem to bother us.please get medical advise.am glad you are going to AA.it saved my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 15
After being on a few weeks bender of a a pint to a liter of alcohol a day I've noticed I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. I never really did before beyond anxiety and sweats, but now my body trembles after a good 8-12 hours after my last drink. I used to be prescribed valium and than ativan for anxiety/panic, but since I tried killing myself ODing on 30-40 soma and 10 ativan, I can't get prescribed those medications anymore and generally, it is valium that they use for an alcohol detox. Generally it's outpatient so if you go to your doctor he'll likely prescribe you some valium while you detox. I'd also look into asking about antabuse.
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