quitting without hitting bottom?
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1
quitting without hitting bottom?
i self-identify as an alcoholic who is very good at managing my addiction. at a certain point, when things could have turned worse, about 7 years ago, i started practicing yoga. i honestly think that yoga saved my life, in that my alcohol consumption plateaued and even progressively lessened. i have never been an all-day drinker. the height of my drinking, well over 7 years ago, was when i could drink a half a case in a *night*, and maybe something else besides...
so through some miraculous turn of events in my life, i was able to reduce the amount of drinking i was doing. still, it is 7 years later and i'm not happy with my relationship with alcohol. i can go days without drinking, and these days i never drink before the night time, but i know that it is not serving anything in my life except the desire to drink more. i think the reason i really know it is time to let go of alcohol is because when i drink i don't have any creative impulse anymore. it's like i drink to obliviate everything, when i do drink.
so maybe this is my bottom. but i read stories from others which are a lot more dramatic than mine, and i wonder: has anyone on here quit drinking before hitting rock bottom? i feel like i could trick myself for a while longer in this stage, but i just want to be done with the whole thing and move on with my life! somehow, it's not quite that simple though.
so through some miraculous turn of events in my life, i was able to reduce the amount of drinking i was doing. still, it is 7 years later and i'm not happy with my relationship with alcohol. i can go days without drinking, and these days i never drink before the night time, but i know that it is not serving anything in my life except the desire to drink more. i think the reason i really know it is time to let go of alcohol is because when i drink i don't have any creative impulse anymore. it's like i drink to obliviate everything, when i do drink.
so maybe this is my bottom. but i read stories from others which are a lot more dramatic than mine, and i wonder: has anyone on here quit drinking before hitting rock bottom? i feel like i could trick myself for a while longer in this stage, but i just want to be done with the whole thing and move on with my life! somehow, it's not quite that simple though.
Rockstar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 634
Hi and welcome, im new here too 
Im like you in that I no longer drink in the day and I stick to 3/4 nights a week drinking but if you feel its no longer working out for you perhaps total abstinence is your answer? Especially if its only making you to want to drink more. Listen to your inner self, its a good indicator
Im like you in that I no longer drink in the day and I stick to 3/4 nights a week drinking but if you feel its no longer working out for you perhaps total abstinence is your answer? Especially if its only making you to want to drink more. Listen to your inner self, its a good indicator
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
I believe there are many people who have quit drinking before hitting rock bottom including many on this board. I'm one of 'em:
I've never had a DUI, never lost a job due to drinking, never lost my family, or spent the night in jail or worse due to drinking.
However, when I became honest with myself, I could admit that:
I've certainly driven under the influence before, lost the respect of some of my friends and also my family when I was drunk or hungover, and probably lost some career or client opportunities due to overdoing it at times. And, even though I was not drinking every day, those hangovers were getting worse and not doing any favors for my health.
One misconception that I had about organizations like AA was that there was only one variety of alcoholic -- the rock bottom kind. A big eye-opener were the selected actual accounts in the Big Book which came from many former "high bottoms" like myself. They had not hit rock bottom, but realized that it probably was just a matter of time before they screwed up bigtime.
If you can, I'd recommend reading that section in the Big Book - Ch. 13 which I think was titled "Me? An Alcoholic?" It was a good first step for me.
I've never had a DUI, never lost a job due to drinking, never lost my family, or spent the night in jail or worse due to drinking.
However, when I became honest with myself, I could admit that:
I've certainly driven under the influence before, lost the respect of some of my friends and also my family when I was drunk or hungover, and probably lost some career or client opportunities due to overdoing it at times. And, even though I was not drinking every day, those hangovers were getting worse and not doing any favors for my health.
One misconception that I had about organizations like AA was that there was only one variety of alcoholic -- the rock bottom kind. A big eye-opener were the selected actual accounts in the Big Book which came from many former "high bottoms" like myself. They had not hit rock bottom, but realized that it probably was just a matter of time before they screwed up bigtime.
If you can, I'd recommend reading that section in the Big Book - Ch. 13 which I think was titled "Me? An Alcoholic?" It was a good first step for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 580
IMHO everybody has a different bottom and once you hit it, its possible to go even deeper. Just because you are not living on the street doesn't mean you haven't hit your own bottom. We all have "yets". If its time to stop, its time to stop.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
I'm like you sanjay I can point to plenty of people on here or at the aa group I've started going to who have obviously gone much further with alcohol than I ever did.
I managed my drinking quite well-always in the evening and never more than one bottle of wine a day.
Ok so compared to the drunk on the streets that might not seem much but compared to the number of units recommended by health specialists, I was drinking more in one day than I should be drinking in one week.
It isn't because there are people drinking more than me which means I don't have a problem-perhaps we're just lucky to check the disease earlier before we lose our job, family, life......
The definition of an alcoholic is what happens after that first drink -i'm no longer in control , the alcohol is.
Here on Sr there is a variety of alcoholics- those who ended up drinking continuusly but also those who were ruining their health by drinking far more than is safe to drink regularly even if it wasn't continuous.
I managed my drinking quite well-always in the evening and never more than one bottle of wine a day.
Ok so compared to the drunk on the streets that might not seem much but compared to the number of units recommended by health specialists, I was drinking more in one day than I should be drinking in one week.
It isn't because there are people drinking more than me which means I don't have a problem-perhaps we're just lucky to check the disease earlier before we lose our job, family, life......
The definition of an alcoholic is what happens after that first drink -i'm no longer in control , the alcohol is.
Here on Sr there is a variety of alcoholics- those who ended up drinking continuusly but also those who were ruining their health by drinking far more than is safe to drink regularly even if it wasn't continuous.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lincoln
Posts: 201
I think you can raise your bottom, so to speak, by working on your life while you are sober. Improving your perception of things through therapy, getting hobbies, improving life skills etc, Using whatever our great societies offer. The better your life while sober the lower the bottom will seem
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I agree with all the posts above, especially about hobbies and outside interests. Your own experiences with yoga reinforce this. Today, although I am in AA, I had rediscovered some old hobbies that are a lot healthier - hiking, camping, fishing and rock hunting.
In terms of your bottom, in AA's early days, there were actually arguments over weather or not to let someone in AA because they had not been hospitalized, were too young/hadn't suffered enough, still owned a wristwatch, etc. Sounds crazy but its true. Thankfully this didn't last long and there is now an entire section in AA's big book on "high bottom" drunks, I believe it was called "they stopped in time". Worth a read even if AA is not your thing.
Good luck and keep posting.
In terms of your bottom, in AA's early days, there were actually arguments over weather or not to let someone in AA because they had not been hospitalized, were too young/hadn't suffered enough, still owned a wristwatch, etc. Sounds crazy but its true. Thankfully this didn't last long and there is now an entire section in AA's big book on "high bottom" drunks, I believe it was called "they stopped in time". Worth a read even if AA is not your thing.
Good luck and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 22
The reason we talk about hitting bottom as being necessary to get sober is that willingness is a key element to working the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous-- as the big book says, "We became willing as only the dying can be". We have to experience enough pain in order to be willing to change our lives. There are many kinds of death, not all of them visible to the outside world.
When I came in I was told that if you're here because you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. People who are not alcoholics generally do not feel the need to cut down/moderate their drinking, and they don't spend a great amount of time wondering whether or not they are an alcoholic. Bottom looks different for everybody. When I hit bottom, on the outside, everything looked okay-- I had graduated college, had a job, had friends and family who hadn't cut me off. But regardless of how much there was still left to lose, inside I was withered and rotten. For me, hitting bottom involved the systematic destruction of all of my "yets"-- things I said I would never do. I said I would never drink before noon. I said I would never drink alone. I said I would never sleep with someone I just met. On and on and on, hundreds of promises broken to myself to the point where I thought I was some kind of blood-sucking inhuman vampire and had no idea who I was at that. Finally one night I ended up in the hospital on suicide watch. My lowest point was having to call my mother at 6 AM and ask her to come pick me up at the ER because I had just tried to kill myself. People in the rooms talk about the physical allergy a lot-- for me, that means that one I pick up a drink, I have no idea what is going to happen and I have no control over what I say or do, no matter where my intentions/morals are. I know that I was spared many years of pain by being lead to AA as young as I did. There will always be further down to fall... but what's the point of testing gravity? They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. What I want from life is simply to experience beauty. And I didn't find that drunk. I found a hell of a lot of ugliness, enough to last me through every day for the last 11 months. I owe it to myself to stay sober even if my only perk from recovery is to experience the world with no filters. Today I get to have a quality of life that is greater than anything I've ever had, even before I started drinking and using.
Another big book quote:
"Some of you are thinking: 'Yes, what you tell us it true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information.' That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, through drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience."
Quote:BB-1st Edition
But anyways, I wanted to say welcome.
When I came in I was told that if you're here because you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. People who are not alcoholics generally do not feel the need to cut down/moderate their drinking, and they don't spend a great amount of time wondering whether or not they are an alcoholic. Bottom looks different for everybody. When I hit bottom, on the outside, everything looked okay-- I had graduated college, had a job, had friends and family who hadn't cut me off. But regardless of how much there was still left to lose, inside I was withered and rotten. For me, hitting bottom involved the systematic destruction of all of my "yets"-- things I said I would never do. I said I would never drink before noon. I said I would never drink alone. I said I would never sleep with someone I just met. On and on and on, hundreds of promises broken to myself to the point where I thought I was some kind of blood-sucking inhuman vampire and had no idea who I was at that. Finally one night I ended up in the hospital on suicide watch. My lowest point was having to call my mother at 6 AM and ask her to come pick me up at the ER because I had just tried to kill myself. People in the rooms talk about the physical allergy a lot-- for me, that means that one I pick up a drink, I have no idea what is going to happen and I have no control over what I say or do, no matter where my intentions/morals are. I know that I was spared many years of pain by being lead to AA as young as I did. There will always be further down to fall... but what's the point of testing gravity? They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. What I want from life is simply to experience beauty. And I didn't find that drunk. I found a hell of a lot of ugliness, enough to last me through every day for the last 11 months. I owe it to myself to stay sober even if my only perk from recovery is to experience the world with no filters. Today I get to have a quality of life that is greater than anything I've ever had, even before I started drinking and using.
Another big book quote:
"Some of you are thinking: 'Yes, what you tell us it true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information.' That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, through drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience."
Quote:BB-1st Edition
But anyways, I wanted to say welcome.
Last edited by CarolD; 07-26-2009 at 06:53 AM. Reason: Added source per SR guidelines
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Phitsanulok Thailand
Posts: 39
I remember being in recovery during my twenties and wondering it I was really an alcoholic because I didn't always black-out when I drank. I saw this as evidence that I hadn't hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is death and if you reach it recovery will not be possible. Stop now.
I don't believe there is any connection with the lower you can get in addiction getting you to a higher place in recovery. That is just madness. You don't need to serve any apprenticeship to deserve the joys of recovery. There is always a bit lower you can go, but why would you want to go there?
I don't believe there is any connection with the lower you can get in addiction getting you to a higher place in recovery. That is just madness. You don't need to serve any apprenticeship to deserve the joys of recovery. There is always a bit lower you can go, but why would you want to go there?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 632
Great discussion
I passed through many "bottoms" over the years. I can now look back at the day I quit drinking and say that was when I actually hit bottom.
I think the bottom is truly relative as it is deferent for each of us. No DUI here and I was not on the streets. I was suffering from sever malnutrition and drinking myself mentally and physically toxic. Headed for the ultimate "bottom"?
My bottom---When I quit drinking it was the moment zero and the start of a new day. Maybe the bottom is not such a bad thing.
My we never repeat that day
I passed through many "bottoms" over the years. I can now look back at the day I quit drinking and say that was when I actually hit bottom.
I think the bottom is truly relative as it is deferent for each of us. No DUI here and I was not on the streets. I was suffering from sever malnutrition and drinking myself mentally and physically toxic. Headed for the ultimate "bottom"?
My bottom---When I quit drinking it was the moment zero and the start of a new day. Maybe the bottom is not such a bad thing.
My we never repeat that day
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum...
When I was diagnosed with situational depresion
my doctor suggested AA.
Nothing to do with external circumstances.
That is what I conisder to have been my bottom.
Living as a non drinker has been fantastic choice....
When I was diagnosed with situational depresion
my doctor suggested AA.
Nothing to do with external circumstances.
That is what I conisder to have been my bottom.
Living as a non drinker has been fantastic choice....
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi Sanjay,
I never drank during the day, would usually stop before getting to the bottom of the wine bottle (though for all practical purposes, would have finished the bottle), kept up a life and a job and good appearances, never had a DUI (though admittedly, could have.) The worst thing that ever happened to me was missing a bunch of my tennis classes due to being hungover... so I'm not a rock bottom alcoholic. However, I could see where it was headed and it wasn't good. I didn't want to go down any further on that path. I practice yoga, too, and the whole thing I have learned is to listen to your body and respect it. I wasn't respecting my body by poisoning it with alcohol several times a week. I am quitting alcohol totally now (on Day 3) and hope to keep it up. Namaste.
Laura
I never drank during the day, would usually stop before getting to the bottom of the wine bottle (though for all practical purposes, would have finished the bottle), kept up a life and a job and good appearances, never had a DUI (though admittedly, could have.) The worst thing that ever happened to me was missing a bunch of my tennis classes due to being hungover... so I'm not a rock bottom alcoholic. However, I could see where it was headed and it wasn't good. I didn't want to go down any further on that path. I practice yoga, too, and the whole thing I have learned is to listen to your body and respect it. I wasn't respecting my body by poisoning it with alcohol several times a week. I am quitting alcohol totally now (on Day 3) and hope to keep it up. Namaste.
Laura
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
There's always another bottom to be reached until the final bottom 'solves' the drinking problem.
I had a sponsee once reach 'the final bottom'.
I'm grateful that I had enough sense to recognize my own bottom without dying.
I had a sponsee once reach 'the final bottom'.
I'm grateful that I had enough sense to recognize my own bottom without dying.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 72
I quit without reaching a "bottom". I was never a daily drinker, not even a weekly drinker. I would say 75% of the time I drank I would have 1 or two drinks. I have even been known (admittingly not often) to not finish a drink, or decide after 1 sip of beer that I wasn't in the mood for it and pour it down the sink. I never missed work from drinking, never missed a workout (although I would workout hungover, which isn't fun!), never cancelled any plans due to drinking.
That being said, the other 25% of the time I would decide I was "in the mood to drink" and would drink way too much. Usually it would happen on a Saturday afternoon and then I'd come home and pass out on the sofa, which would really tick off my husband. He felt as though we were losing time together because I was drinking too much. So, because it was making things tense with him, and because I wasn't liking the way I felt about myself the next morning when I would drink, I decided to stop. Its been 2 months today, and I really think it was a great decision. My relationship is better and my self-esteem is better.
Obviously I could have continued drinking, waiting for something really bad to happen, but I decided isn't feeling bad about myself enough? It is hard to stop when there isn't an obvious bottom, however if alcohol isn't doing anything good for you (and face it, its not) why not try stopping and see what happens? I don't know that I'll never have a drink again, I have decided to quit for a year and then decide, but I do know that I've been really happy these last two months, happier than I was when I was drinking.
Good luck with your decison. You'll find plenty of support here at SR!
That being said, the other 25% of the time I would decide I was "in the mood to drink" and would drink way too much. Usually it would happen on a Saturday afternoon and then I'd come home and pass out on the sofa, which would really tick off my husband. He felt as though we were losing time together because I was drinking too much. So, because it was making things tense with him, and because I wasn't liking the way I felt about myself the next morning when I would drink, I decided to stop. Its been 2 months today, and I really think it was a great decision. My relationship is better and my self-esteem is better.
Obviously I could have continued drinking, waiting for something really bad to happen, but I decided isn't feeling bad about myself enough? It is hard to stop when there isn't an obvious bottom, however if alcohol isn't doing anything good for you (and face it, its not) why not try stopping and see what happens? I don't know that I'll never have a drink again, I have decided to quit for a year and then decide, but I do know that I've been really happy these last two months, happier than I was when I was drinking.
Good luck with your decison. You'll find plenty of support here at SR!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
I hit bottom quite a few times, but never stopped drinking for very long. This time I just quit. I have been sober almost 4 months(almost the longest time in 30 years of drinking). Although I have had some very bad things happen over drinking they didn't sober me up for long. Now I just quit out of the blue.
Although this time I quit out of the blue, (don't get me wrong). I still remember all the bad things that happened over my drinking.
Although this time I quit out of the blue, (don't get me wrong). I still remember all the bad things that happened over my drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
so maybe this is my bottom. but i read stories from others which are a lot more dramatic than mine, and i wonder: has anyone on here quit drinking before hitting rock bottom?
In a nutshell, we set our own bottoms.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 72
Nate-
I think you should talk to your dr about your antidepressants and your new suicidal thoughts. I've heard taking antidepressants can sometimes cause people to have suicidal thoughts (should be the opposite, but whatever). Obviously drinking while on them isn't good either, but since both the thoughts and the antidepressants are new to you I would be a little concerned. Your doc may want to change your dosage, switch you to something different or at the very least monitor you a little more closely. Please call him/her, you don't want to fool around with this!
I think you should talk to your dr about your antidepressants and your new suicidal thoughts. I've heard taking antidepressants can sometimes cause people to have suicidal thoughts (should be the opposite, but whatever). Obviously drinking while on them isn't good either, but since both the thoughts and the antidepressants are new to you I would be a little concerned. Your doc may want to change your dosage, switch you to something different or at the very least monitor you a little more closely. Please call him/her, you don't want to fool around with this!
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Thanks, I'm right there with you. I am a "burnt toast" alcoholic as well as I've heard much worse drinking stories than my own. However, we all have our own bottoms. Like figuring out that we have no control over our drinking is a bottom it just takes longer for some folks. I feel like we are all on the same playing field once the admission of step one happens. This is my sixth post on SR today. Is there a SR anonymous meeting anywhere?? It's very hot here and I don't feel like going out in it.:ghug2
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