LosingmyMisery

No, alcoholism is no joke. It is such a viscous cycle. We drink to escape and the hammer comes down. Drinking creates chaos, unwanted drama and destroys families, causing the hammer to come down harder. It is a cycle hard to break, but it can be done.

We are all one click away or step away from something. Be it one step away from losing our family, everything. Or one step closer to recovery. I know your battle, Patrick. I wish you nothing, but success. Unfortunately, I know that you will have to experience much more pain before the consequence bring you closer to willingness. Never give up! I've always said that to you and will continue to do so.

laurie6781

Sadly Patrick, it makes perfect sense to me .............................. you are not a joke on here ............................................. you are a very sad reminder to me of how I was before it got even worse.

Like Surly I lost everything, home, family, husband, job (a damn good one making big bucks for many years) became unemployable at all, lived on unemployment (drank on unemployment) until it ran out ........................... sold what little I had left and moved to the streets for another year and a half.

Even then living the streets, "I wasn't that bad." Yeah right, wasn't that bad until the moment that every swig I took in felt like it was coming back out every pore of my body just as quick as I put it in. It was then and only then that I realized I WAS DYING and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it ................................... that all I could do was die drunk or die sober but I was dying.

For some reason, HP, The Great Spirit, The Universe, Mother Earth, whomever gave me a second chance.

I sit here, I read your posts, the memories come flooding back of the H*LL I lived for so many years and I have no words to convince you ................................... however, some day down the road, and I hope it is very soon for your sake, your body will convince you.

So until that happens I will keep you in my prayers Patrick. I don't know whether to thank you for bringing those memories back so strongly as a good reminder of why this alkie no longer drinks, or .................................. cry for you that you have to be just as stubborn and bull headed as I was.

Love and hugs,

c49

Patrick... You remind me of the hell I put myself through. Why did we resist help???

thisisme

Your savior is within yourself. Reach out for the help you need before it's too late.

Boleo

I my last days of drinking I was just trying to feel "Comfortably Numb".

Now I use prayer & meditation to feel "Comfortable in my own skin".

If the shoe fits (and is comfortable) wear it.