jamdls

I'll have 2 yrs sobriety next month and I know for myself that even 1 drink, even 1 sip of wine could and likely would be the beginning of the end of my life so I won't go there, from everyone I've ever spoken to about this it's so much worse when you relapse I won't take that chance.. Heck at this church I go to when you go up for communion they have a tray with little thimbles of red wine, in the center of each tray there are about 10 thimbles full of white grape juice I always take from the grape juice and once there wasn't any grape juice in the center and I panicked and I'm sure it showed on my face so the server immediately reached for a backup tray, they know me now and that hasn't happened again.

Image101

I had 30 days sober, without really putting forth every ounce of willpower...just started with one day, and moved on to another, and then 'well, I didn't drink yesterday, so what's one more day without it?' This was followed by a relapse (about 10 or 12 drinks, nothing totally out of control). I woke up the next morning feeling just wretched, and I don't mean hungover. That was a few weeks ago and I stayed sober for another couple weeks. Then, my girlfriend made me dinner and bought a 1.75L of vodka. Well, the next morning I woke up and saw that we had (just the two of us, mind you) had killed almost the entire thing. I was absolutely disgusted yet again. I'm finally just realizing that as much as it sucks, I need to be aware that one drink, just that one drink, is all it takes. The outcome is ALWAYS the same. I CANNOT take just one drink. I don't feel like I need to be terrified of it or avoid it all costs, but I need to be 100 percent aware of the consequences that will follow if I choose to take a drink.
It still amazes me as to what a strange disease alcoholism is (for those who believe it to be a disease). The feeling that an alcoholic gets after taking just one drink is just indescribable to a nonalcoholic. It's like the entire mental state is altered the instant a drink is taken and all that matters is more. More, more, and more. Hopefully one day science will find out the reason behind this, but until then (and even after, most likely) it won't matter. All that matters is just not taking the first drink.

Tallaxo

I think that people relapse for the simple reason that they have forgotten those desperate feelings that made them quit in the first place. Never try and forget how it felt to hit rock bottom, because those feelings may be your best ally in maintaining sobriety.

Jason.

NewBeginning010

I think that this explains a lot about what happens when an alcoholic drinks.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Its a great read for all of us (thanks for posting it Carol)

catch-22

that's why the occasional relapse keeps me on the straight path... I remember how crap it was to be drunk...

Hilltopper1972

Wow, looks like this thread hit a nerve. Relapse is real. I've done it countless times. For me it is a social thing. I have an entire group of friends that all drink as a way of life. Not all are alcoholics, well a good 4-5, but that is just the way they choose to spend their time on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday nights. My wife doesn't get it. She doesn't get my mentality. Why do I drink and want to get hammered every time? She might get hammered once a year. So for me when I say, "I just don't want to go to the party", to her it just doesn't make any sense. There is no life and death to it at all. If I go to the party, I just don't drink, but after two hours when everyone breaths alcohol on my I just want to get the hell out of there! The reward is making it through. What I do know is that I might be able to have a couple glasses of wine at dinner at a nice restaurant. I might even be able to not drink anymore on the way home. It is the slippery slope though, eventually I'll go back to getting hammered on a nightly basis. My reward is not being afraid of death and liver disease, and feeling horrible and that should be enough to remain sober!

Dee74

I think the 5 year maker has come about because most clinical studies (or AA surveys)
use that as a convenient marker. George Vaillant's study of Harvard grads in the late 90s seems to have become a benchmark...

Five Years Is Magic Number for Recovering Alcoholics
Five-year follow up for sobriety in a cohort of me...[Natl Med J India. 2007 Sep-Oct] - PubMed Result
Length of Sobriety Facts

D

Ananda

i had almost 2 years and drank last saturday. I drank less than 3 days so.....i imediatly began scratching gouges in my body which itched and got worse. I planed to stop after 1 bottle and i couldn't i bought a second. Some symptoms of my pancretits returned and some blood sugar problems existed again aftert the binge. I seem to be mending fairly quickly since it was such a short relapse and I feel very very grateful that it was short and absolutely know that there are no guarentees of that .

it's the mental recovery that i can see is gonna really sck. I did a lot of damage the amount of mental damage i did to myself in 2.5 days drinking and only 1.5 ltrs of rum is unreal. how i see myself has twisted...and my hope level is pretty much in the tolet actually about anything except tht i will stay sober.

I was fortunate to have a family member come and put me under what i call voluntery house arrest for 3 days .... i knew i wanted to stop but had already almost lost the ability to ask for help much less stop in justthat quick a time.

I beleived as has been said that if i drank again it was a long term proposition and why that wasn't enough to keep me from picking up...i don't know....i'm still looking at that and have some ideas but right now i can't talk about it...

I suspect that the knowledge of just how few hours i had before i would cease beingwilling to get sober or be able to or whatever it is...spured me to make the dreaded call let someone else help me do what i could notdo on my own.

I still believe that if i drink again the chances of me getting sober are very slim...but i also still believe that if i can't change in some fundemental way....in the end i won't stay sober.

This may not be a popular position .... but its the truth i see atthis moment so i'm sharing it...the truth for me not anyone else.

oh i almost forgot...one of the reasons i know for me thinking a couple of day binge is a lie i tell myself is because when i drank after 7 years sober it was 8 years of continual 24/7 drinking.....and where i slip from being able to make that call for help to not being able to.....it happens very quickly for me.

thanks for letting me share.

coffeenut

Ananda. Wow. Thank you so much for your post. I totally agree that the mental aspect of relapse is TOUGH.

You will be in my heart, today. I wish you strength. You are so positive for this forum. Again, thank you so much for sharing.